Is your relationship in God’s will?

Relationship in God's will

What is God’s will for your relationship? Dr. Jim shows why you shouldn’t rush into a relationship while on an online dating service.  God will reveal His will over time; you just need to listen to Him.


Dear Jim: How can I be sure that the relationship I have started is one that is in God’s will?

As I relate to Christian singles, I often receive an email that includes something about God’s will in it. Perhaps the person says, “We met last week/month on a Christian dating site and it has become evident to each of us that our relationship is God’s will.” Or it will surface in a question “What’s is God’s will that I do about?”

I certainly believe in God’s will and know that Christ says that we should be busy doing the will of His/our Father. However the other words that follow in the emails often reflect a ‘rushing’ toward a desired victory.

Other emails are received with a heartbreaking story sharing how they just knew the relationship was God’s will, but the marriage, sex, or rejection is tearing them apart and they are very confused.

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Relationship advice on online power dating.

Online Power Dating

Online dating is a great way to meet other Christian singles. However, one has to be realistic and never put the dreaming in front of the friendship. There are some points that should be considered to make your online experience a healthy one.


Online Power Dating?

Do you find yourself being drawn to check your email often during the day? Do you feel some type of “force” within you pushing you to find a connection? Do you become very excited about the idea of checking for an email to you, and really depressed when you don’t have one?

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Worship songs for a searching soul

Worship Songs

Find some of the best worship songs playing right now in churches around the country! We hope these inspiring songs will let you hear God speaking to you, or just help you praise the Lord for Who He is and for what He has done for all of us. You can also listen to other great songs from this link: 30 Inspirational Christian Songs
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The relationship was going great, but then…

Relationship was going great

Sometimes when we think we are involved in a seemingly wonderful and fulfilling relationship, the carpet is pulled out from under our feet and we find ourselves alone once again – and not sure why our “significant other” left.


I met someone online and the relationship was going great – but then he/she left abruptly. What did I do wrong?

Emails are often received with a story of how the person met someone online and enjoyed an awesome experience. This experience ranges from just one meeting to several months in length. All seems to be going supernaturally well, then suddenly the person either disappears OR says that they have met someone else. Were there signals that should have been seen? Is it something that someone did wrong?

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How the dating scene has changed for adults 35+

Older Adults and the new dating scene

How should older singles face the dating scene in a world that has changed rapidly from the “old ways” to online dating relationships? What they should do to navigate this “strange new world”.


Are there any differences that should be considered when dating as an older adult?

There are now many adults who are 35+ that have never been married, or who are returning to single life after a divorce or death. While some things remain the same, there are many conditions that have changed in the world today. This is a topic that requires a book to properly answer all the ramifications, but allow me to address a few of them below:

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What Men and Women Want in a Relationship

What men and women want

Men and Women want different things in life and relationships. Check out how their needs differ greatly: what is most important for men and for women? What can we do about this difference? Here’s some great insight for Christian singles on understanding each other before searching for your special someone.


What do men and women want? (His needs/Her needs)

Before I publish any article, I send it to a group of singles I have asked to be my ‘advisors’. These singles are a variety of ages, occupations, backgrounds, etc. All are wonderful Christians who join me in having a passion to serve singles.

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Dating a single parent and how-to steps.

Online Dating a single parent

What should you do when meeting someone online and he or she is a single parent? Here are some insights on what to do, what to expect, and what the best outcome is for a relationship when children are involved.


Should I be concerned about marrying someone with children if I don’t have any?

Questions relating to children in a relationship are often received. There are some who write with the implication that it is a terrible thing when people are considering marriage when one of them does not have children and the other one does.

First of all, I cannot think of any scriptures that would be directly applicable to this circumstance. While I do not believe that this is a ‘scriptural’ consideration, I think that those involved should move slowly as they discover the answer for their relationship.
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Sparks in a relationship

Sparks in a relationship

When we’re in love, there can be physical attraction, with sparks flying. Are these feelings healthy? Should Christian singles follow them, or are there more important signs we should trust before allowing ourselves to fall in love?


Are sparks important in a relationship?

I think that you will find an almost unanimous agreement that sparks are important in a relationship that leads to marriage. However..it is only one of MANY ingredients that go to make a successful relationship. Some other VERY important ingredients are: character, personality, beliefs, tastes, intellect, basic compatibilities, styles, financial habits, temperament, etc.

Physical attraction to the opposite gender is something that seems to have been placed into us by God. It is a strong motivation and has been manipulated by ‘Hollywood’ to a point that most accept that it is THE single most important ingredient. It is not!

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Expectations vs reality with online dating.

Online Dating: Reality vs Expectation

Long distance relationships have theirs ups and downs and we shouldn’t allow our fantasies to blur reality when using online dating.


What advice would you have about dating online and long distance relationships?

The development of any relationship is challenging – but long distance does add some unique aspects to consideration. Although I am sure not all-inclusive, here are some thoughts that I believe one should consider as they entertain long distance relationships.
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Guide to starting a successful relationship when dating online.

Relationship guide to dating online

Dr. Jim provides advice on the process of having a healthy relationship in the online dating scene and steps to take (and not take) to find your perfect match.


Dear Jim: Are there general guidelines for screening people that perhaps I can use in the future to avoid the bad experience I had?

You are one of many who have written to me with a similar question. Yes, I do believe that some guidelines SHOULD be created (called boundaries) as you approach any relationship – especially over the Internet.

Guide to start a successful relationship Online

  • The first one is NOT to develop any undue expectations PRIOR to meeting one in person. Approaching the subject of marriage before even meeting should be a sign that “expectations” are getting ahead of the process. I could not state this too strongly. Would also suggest that approaching the subject of marriage even after meeting for the first period of time should not be done. The single biggest cause of heartache in finding relationships is unrealistic expectations.

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