A match made in heaven – or not?

a match made in heaven

Is our perfect match chosen by God? What should we expect to feel when we start dating a potential “soulmate”? Dr. Jim gives us some insight into what we should expect from “the one” (assuming their is just one).


The phrase ‘soulmate’ is often included in an email from a single, or I am asked if there is such a thing as a soulmate. The Bible does not discuss this concept but it certainly is used a lot among singles.

There is a desire to find someone who is a ‘perfect’ match. Although this is but a thought, it really surfaces when they meet someone who appears to meet all their expectations. The other person says the right things, likes the same things as they do, and just seems to know exactly what to do to please them. The feeling is so overwhelming and it seems like a divine appointment. Is this really a match made in heaven?

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What are the ‘normal’ stages in a relationship?

The Relationship Stages

Dr. Jim explains the relationship phases with a simple guide to build a healthy relationship for those singles who are marriage minded.


The media bombards us with sex and dating built appealing to our fantasies. There is a progression that should take place in building a relationship. The following is offered as a guide to consider as you build a relationship.

Note: As soon as I say guide, every single reading this will think they are an exception and the timing noted does not apply to them. Yes – it does! One of the strangest phenomenons that I have observed is that single dating behavior is more common than most of us think. I encourage you to not look for the ‘exception’ but where you can build the type of relationship that will serve you and your partner well for years to come.

Fantasy Stage 1 – 6 months:

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Is Love Enough?

Is Love Enough

In today’s singles advice, Dr. Jim Rives talks about: Is Love Enough? for those seeking for a lasting relationship.

Please let us know your thoughts on this, in the comments below. Thanks!


Seeking a lasting relationship…

What criteria do you use in seeking a lasting relationship? Is a strong emotional bond sufficient to see you through the years?

Life presents us with many twists and turns. One sets out to find a good relationship only to find someone show up who does not meet all the desired qualities. Have you set your criteria too high, or is it okay to have high standards?
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Online Dating Red Flags

Online Dating Red Flags

What red flags should you be aware of when using an online dating site? We’ve put together some tips to help keep you safe.

There are a two main areas when you think of profiles/”members” to avoid in online dating:

  • “Fake” profiles that try to build a rapport with you and then hit you up for money with the help of a made up tale.
  • Legitimate members who you simply shouldn’t spend your time getting to know.

Let’s dig in.
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Is Online Dating Biblical?

The question posed to Pastor John:

“Is online dating a good way to meet your future spouse…”

Pastor John’s response includes the following key points:

“The biblical issue is not how you meet, but who you marry.”

“The great question is, are you mature enough to discern a worthy spouse?”

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Over 30 and Single? God Has Control

Christian singles expert Lisa Anderson from the Focus on the Family ministry Boundless provides a couple minutes of advice for those finding themselves over 30 and single.

How can Christian singles no longer in their 20s feel content? Realize that God has control of the situation. There’s work being done “behind the scenes” that is part of His story for you. Continue living life and trust God with his plan for you.
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The Gift of (Temporary) Singleness: Embrace It

Embracing the Gift of Singleness

In today’s singles advice, Dr. Jim Rives talks about embracing the gift of singleness after a broken relationship – viewing it as a growing phase of your journey.

Please let us know your thoughts on this, in the comments below. Thanks!


From weeds to…

There is a field near where I live that is covered with weeds and some plants that came from old cotton seeds. It is not much to look at and is not attractive or of much use. However, I recall only a year or so ago when this field was filled with rows of beautiful Pima cotton. It was a picture of God’s masterful design and commanded everyone’s attention because of the healthy, lush green plants standing at the same height and fullness.
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Three Places to Listen to Christian Music Online (That You May Have Never Heard Of)

Listen to Christian Music Online

Yes, there are better free places to listen to Christian music online than YouTube (tired of pre-roll ads and poor sound quality?) – especially when it comes to new music discovery.

The following three online music sources are commercial-free options that also allow for favoriting tracks, creating playlists, and subscribing to new posts by others. They’re great for discovering new Christian music!
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When to End a Relationship: Advice

When to End a Relationship

In today’s advice piece, Dr. Jim answers, “When is it time to give up on a relationship?“.


A significant number of emails are received from single adults sharing details of broken trust, disrespect, and outright negligence in their current relationship. The writer’s question to me often is centered on whether or not they should stay in the relationship. How does one know if it is time to move on or to stay and work on the relationship? (These are relationships that are between single adults and not a married couple.)
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Waiting on God’s Timing: Online Dating

Waiting on God's Timing

A Boundless reader wrote in for the Inbox portion of one of the Boundless shows asking about whether she should wait for God’s timing when seeking a mate – or pursue online dating.
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