How to go through life without allowing our past to spoil it? What to do when you’ve been hurt or what should you do when you were the reason someone was hurt? Christian singles, while trying to meet someone online, should make sure that they deal with such questions, as Dr. Jim explains in this new blog post.
Dear Jim: Have you let go of the past?
Each of us has been impacted by some event in our past – good or bad. As I grow older, I am reminded over and over that it is easier to slip back into our past. The past should be taken into consideration as lessons. Embrace the good that came from your past, and let go of those things that were negative.
Yeah – right! That is certainly easier to put into words than into action. Yet I see so many single adults who continue to choose to let their past unduly impact their present and future.
If you were negatively impacted by someone else:
- Process it and move on! You cannot walk around it; you must walk ‘through’ it and come to acceptance. If you have not or have great difficulty processing, see a Christian counsellor or your Pastor.
- Satan wants to bind you in your past! Next to temptations, this is perhaps the area where Satan and his spirits have their biggest hold on our lives.
- I love the saying that we can choose what happens in our lives to make us ‘bitter or better’. Yes, it is a choice and it is yours!
- Pray about this event that is handicapping you. Ask God what action He would like you to take to release you from the negative impact.
If you were the one who did a wrong to another or made a mistake:
- Accept the fact that you did wrong, and ask God for forgiveness, too.
- Ask God to lead you in what or how you can address the wrong.
- If the person is not available or it is not feasible to contact them, then write down what you did wrong. Pray over the paper and ask God to restore the person and remove any negative that it caused in the other person’s life – and yours. Then I suggest burning the paper – in a safe place of course. The point is to leave it up to God and be available to take any action He leads you to take.
- Why did you cause this pain to another or make this mistake? How do you know that you will not do this again under similar circumstances? Good intentions seldom provide a long-term solution. If there is a force at play in your life and you see cycles repeating, see a Christian counsellor.
Find more about when to Share Your Past on a previous blog post from Dr. Jim.
Life is too precious.
Life is too precious for you to be imprisoned by your past. God desires great things for your future. Do not allow the ‘past’ to handicap your future joy, peace and fulfillment. I love the words in Philippians 3:13 ‘…forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead’.
IF you don’t deal with the past, you allow the past person/event to have a never-ending hold on your life. Do you want that?
Choices – that is what life is all about. What do you choose to do with your past?
Dr. Jim
I have enjoyed reading the different topics it has given me a lot to pray about in my life
just walked away from a relationship from a man I thought loved me and would help him , thinking it was a good thing, I gave him a few thousand thinking I was going to get it back, I never did meet,or did I ever get my money back when he knew i wouldnt give him any more he stopped texting.
Im finding it hard to get over him . and Im a born again Christian who loves the Lord with all my heart,I believe he is a scammer , I was with him 8 months so its hard to forget . I lost my husband 4 years ago and am lonely for a relationship. this man told me he was a christian.
Clara,
I am so sorry for the loss of your husband:( I can feel your grief from your post. I also fear that your grief blinded you to the obvious, until it was too late: you didn’t have a relationship with the man you never met. That’s because he was a scammer, who scammed you. He took advantage of your grief:-(
On our website, we have extensive articles about the signs of a scammer. One thing we repeat: “never send money to someone you’ve never met!” Always remember that if something (or someone, in this case) sounds too good to be true, it probably is!