Christian, Lonely and Single?

Christian? Single? Lonely?Pastor Jim outlines how to overcome being lonely as a single Christian.


Are you lonesome tonight? I can hear Elvis Presley singing this song as he expressed how much he was missing his love. In my mind I can see thousands of single adults howling along with Elvis as they express the loneliness in their lives. Coyotes would have to take a second seat to this choir’s rendition.

Loneliness is a plague for many single adults. It visits them at strange times and in strange locations. They may be in a room filled with people and yet the ache of loneliness hits them like a ton of bricks. Perhaps it is at night when they are finished with the day’s activities and have nothing to focus on but their thoughts. Loneliness makes one feel depressed and can become an unhealthy force if not addressed.
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Cohabitation: Why You Should Not

Cohabitation?Have you thought about cohabitation? Are you doing so to ‘test it out’ to see if marriage will work? Are you doing it to save on rent? A few months ago we posted some advice from Pastor Jim regarding living together before marriage where he lists many reasons why cohabitation is not a good idea – for both Christians and non-Christians.
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Online Dating is Like Shopping?

shopping-online-datingPastor Jim discusses the “shopping” mentality of dating – and online dating. Are you doing this?


The shopping experience

Most of those who read my articles are in North America or a very modern culture. Life has become very easy for so many of us with so many choices at our fingertips.

A few years ago some friends from Switzerland came to visit me in California. We had never met before and decided to have dinner at our first meeting. The greetings were super as we enjoyed finally getting to meet each other in person. The waiter came to take the order and I received an education!
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How to Start Dating Again: Tips for Christian Women

Start Dating AgainDr. Jim provides some pointers on how to start dating again – after a break up. This post is written for women, but can be reversed to apply for men.


DEAR JIM: HOW DO I START DATING AGAIN?

Times have changed, but values have not! I am afraid that you will find more men with less good manners and more into themselves.
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Overcoming the Fear of Being Single Forever

fear

ARE YOU ALLOWING FEAR TO DOMINATE YOUR LIFE?

A child enters into this world without any fears. Before they are around this earth very long something will occur that will allow fear to enter into their life. Too often one grows up and is filled with a variety of fears.

What is fear?

What is fear? I have developed a definition that applies to most fears that adults experience.

‘Fear is the emotion developed when we ‘feel’ we are about to lose something we value.’

Some things that can be valued are our lives, our possessions, our positions, and our relationships. The greater we hold onto these things (or value them) the greater our fear can become.

HOWEVER, it is not really the loss of ‘things’ or ‘positions’ that is the force behind our fear. Allow me to develop this thought as you consider how this applies to your life.
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Can Someone Change Their Behavior, In Order To Make a Relationship Work?

Will he change?In today’s advice column, Dr. Jim advises on whether to stay in a relationship with someone who needs to change in order for the relationship to work.


WHEN IS EXPECTING A PERSON TO CHANGE NOT GOOD?

People can change for the positive

A friend of mine (who is a counsellor) and I were having a conversation recently. He stated that he has never seen a change in a person unless there was a significant crisis that provided the motivation to change. While I concurred with the fact that this is usually the way it happens, I shared that I was also pleased that people can change for the positive if and when their world of reference is changed. My world expanded when a mentor opened my thinking that I could do more than what I had experienced in the past.
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Wait on God for a Spouse?… or Actively Date?

Wait on God for a spouse?Dr. Jim advises on whether Christians should pursue finding a spouse, or simply wait on God to provide a husband or wife.


Dear Jim: SHOULD I NOT DATE AND SIT BACK AND WAIT FOR GOD TO BRING MY MATE TO ME?

There are some Christian leaders that counsel others to wait on God to bring their mate to them. Their counsel is to not date and just wait on God. I do not agree with this approach as a general principal.
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Dating After Divorce With Children: Advice

Divorced Mom with ChildDr. Jim shares his dating advice for those who are divorced with children.


Dear Jim: DO YOU HAVE ANY DATING ADVICE FOR THOSE WHO HAVE CHILDREN?

Children’s emotions also go through emotional turbulence during and after a divorce. When the parent(s) begin to date, this can significantly cause a lot of stress and pain in the family. I am the child of a divorce as well as have counselled many with children. Here are some considerations as relates to the children of a divorce:
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Dating Advice for Widows

Dating Advice for WidowsPastor Jim provides advice regarding widows and dating.


Dear Jim: I AM A RECENT WIDOW AND WANT TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE ANY SPECIFIC DATING ADVICE FOR ME?

I am pleased at the “peace” you have regarding your husband and his presence with our Lord. While it does not remove many of the things you are learning to deal with, it is a great gift.

Before you entertain dating, I do have some suggestions for you. Allow me to share them as points below for your consideration.
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Living Together Before Marriage: Advice

Should this happy couple live together before marriage?
Pastor Jim provides advice on the topic of cohabitation before marriage, providing both biblical and non-biblical reasoning.


Dear Jim: WHAT IS WRONG WITH LIVING TOGETHER BEFORE WE GET MARRIED?

Demos have become a way of life in most parts of the world. We would not buy a car before we drove it and ‘checked it out’ – nor a television and even a piece of clothing. So many singles come from painful past experiences and they want ‘to be sure’ that they do not experience this again. The logic often develops that if this is true for other less important things, then a ‘test’ drive before marriage would certainly be in order.
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