The perfect match – Should you look for one?

The Perfect Match

The perfect match is someone we desire even though we know it’s impossible to meet (as no one’s perfect). However single Christians still search for this “incredible” person to be part of their lives, after being hurt from previous relationships. Dr. Jim shows that instead of searching for the right one, singles should be working on becoming the right one.


Dear Jim: How do I stop desiring or looking for the perfect match who won’t hurt or cheat on me?

Wow – that is a big question! One way or another this question has been posed to me many times. What is being said in this question?

  • I have been hurt and I do not want to feel that pain again
  • As much as I do not want to be hurt, I want even stronger to find someone whom I can trust to build a healthy relationship
  • I have big time defenses up now and I am afraid to let any of them down
  • Fear is my primary motivation as I seek a new relationship

A match made in heaven – or not?

a match made in heaven

Is our perfect match chosen by God? What should we expect to feel when we start dating a potential “soulmate”? Dr. Jim gives us some insight into what we should expect from “the one” (assuming their is just one).


The phrase ‘soulmate’ is often included in an email from a single, or I am asked if there is such a thing as a soulmate. The Bible does not discuss this concept but it certainly is used a lot among singles.

There is a desire to find someone who is a ‘perfect’ match. Although this is but a thought, it really surfaces when they meet someone who appears to meet all their expectations. The other person says the right things, likes the same things as they do, and just seems to know exactly what to do to please them. The feeling is so overwhelming and it seems like a divine appointment. Is this really a match made in heaven?