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Welcome to "Fresh Brew" October 2003, ChristianCafe.com's monthly newsletter, which keeps you informed on the latest trends, news and views of Christian singles.
STAFF ENGAGEMENT!
We want to congratulate Sam and Polly on their recent engagement! Sam is the CEO & co-Founder of ChristianCafe.com and Polly manages ChristianCafe.com's marketing department (Sam is directoroffun and Polly is funsupport on the Cafe).
Sam and Polly
OCTOBER GIVEAWAYS!
Spread the word about ChristianCafe.com! There are so many more people we would like to tell about our service. This month we are giving away a free SIX MONTH MEMBERSHIP to the person who can refer the most new members to our site! Please see http://www.christiancafe.com/members/tools/tellafriend.jsp to start spreading the word! We'll let you know who referred the most in the next issue.
SEPTEMBER GIVEAWAY WINNERS:
Dinah, WV
Ginny, SC
Elsbeth, Philippines
Tim, TX
Markus, WA
MEET OUR DREAM WEDDING CONTESTANTS
"Ben has been preparing for his life-partner for the past 2 years. He read my profile and felt that I had the qualities he wanted in a future wife. So, he messaged me. I messaged back, and the rest is history!! The only drawback was that he lives half-way around the world. But it seems love is not a respecter of distance or territory, and I am thankful!" Dayle
Ben and Dayle
"Father God is the only one who could have brought John and me together. No one else could have knitted our souls together so completely. From the very beginning I knew that John was the one because Father God brought the scripture PS 37:4 to me everytime I was with him. God is the center point in our relationship, the foundation our relationship is built on." Lori
Lori and John
It is not too late for you to enter! Just log-on to ChristianCafe.com and browse for your match. You too could meet your soul mate and win the wedding of your dreams! Contest closes December 31, 2003.
The Dream Wedding Giveaway is open to any member who has met someone on the Cafe, then dated this person off-line, and has now made plans to get married. You must be planning to wed in July 2004 (No sooner).
More info...
ASK DR. JIM - CHRISTIAN RELATIONSHIP ADVICE
LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT?
Internet dating appears to have convinced many that there is love at first sight. If only they can find the right profile, look, and have that person respond to them, life would be great. After relating to thousands of single adults and their relationships, I am convinced that there is no such thing as love at first sight.
The only thing that can develop initially is a strong attraction. This attraction is like adrenalin to many and as soon as it subsides, they are ready to move on. If you are an "adrenalin" junky in the manner that I speak, you are creating a world of impossible expectations. You will only repeat cycles and cause a lot of pain to you and others. Love is something that grows and takes time. When you find someone who has a lot of qualities that you like, take the time to allow love to grow.
SEXUAL DELIGHT
A review of the emails that I receive confirms that Christian single adults are broadly embracing sexual activity. Men and women are allowing their appetites to lead their interactions with others. Little thought is being given to the deeper ramifications of this type of thinking.
There is nothing wrong with a normal sexual appetite. However, when one chooses to feed a humongous diet of sexual teasers and pornographic material into their spirit, they are creating an insatiable appetite. Wake up and take a look: 1 out of 5 adolescents and adults in the US have a sexually transmittable disease; almost 70% of second marriages fail; and almost 75% of cohabitation couples fail. Anyone home? God has a better plan that has been tested over a L O N G time! (Check out http://www.askpastorjim.org/cdonecc.htm for an important resource on sex)
Rev. Dr. Jim Rives
Founder & President
Dr. Jim Rives provides Pastoral advice on relationship and other issues that single adults face. You can find answers to other questions and resources for singles on his web site at www.askpastorjim.org or write Jim at jim@askpastorjim.org
PERFECTING THE FIRST IMPRESSION!
Let's face it - you only have one chance to make a good first impression! People are drawn to what they see - men are VERY visual. This doesn't mean you have to be a perfect "10". However, how you look tells others a lot about you and how you feel about yourself. If you are a "good steward" of yourself then you will be a good steward of another person's life and well being. Don't make people imagine how good you could look. Remember: if you do your personal best then you have nothing to be ashamed or worried about. Also remember that you can do all things through Christ to gives you strength.
Women:
Make sure your nails are filed and painted with a coat of clear polish. Ragged nails are a turn off.
Use makeup close to your skin color or colors that are natural and compliment your skin. Go to the nearest department store cosmetic counter and ask for some free advice - many even offer a free makeup application. Use makeup but don't abuse it!
Update your hairstyle. Consult with at least two different hairstylist. Ask them for suggestions on new cuts and/or color.
Glasses that are not up to date are another turn off.
Take inventory of your wardrobe. When was the last time you bought something new? Wear something classy and tasteful for the first meeting. Don't wear anything uncomfortable or too revealing.
Fresh Breath and a bright smile! Try an over the counter whitening toothpaste. White strips, whitening gels can do the job. Nothing is sexier than pearly white teeth. Also, if you have any broken teeth, check into bonding. It is an inexpensive way to make your smile look almost perfect. Always carry mints - Gum chewing, bubble blowing and popping is annoying.
Fragrance-Scent is an important element of attraction. Make sure you have a shower before your meeting if it has been a hot day, you just worked out and/or you have been traveling. Men love the scent of a woman who just showered with freshly shampooed hair and a light whiff of a good perfume. Wear a good clean fragrance. Be skimpy in spraying - if you can smell it you are wearing too much!
Men:
Scrub the dirt from under your nails. Clip your nails short.
Get a haircut and make it short or medium length.
If you have a beard, mustache or goatee, make sure it is trimmed well. Did you know that ninety percent of all women prefer a clean-shaven man at any age? If you are self conscious about your gray or white hair seek out a professionally hair colorist. Better safe than sorry!
Uni-brow? Do your eyebrows run together? If so have them professionally tweezed or electrolysis to remove the unwanted hair. Countless men go dateless because they have a stern/severe look from eyebrows that knit together making them look unhappy. It can be fixed!
Glasses that are not up to date are another turn off for women. If they are more than 3 yrs old you may be in need of a new prescription - so why not get some new frames?
Tight jeans (pants), tee shirts are best left to fashion advertisements. Wear clothing that fits and moves freely (not too lose). Limit the amount of jewelry you wear - don't out do women.
Take inventory of your wardrobe. When was the last time you bought something new? Wear something classy and tasteful for the first meeting. Dress slacks or Dockers and a polo shirt or nice dress shirt. Don't wear jeans or t-shirts on a first meeting or a date. And wear a pair of loafers or dress shoes (make sure they are not scuffed). Leave the Vibram soled shoes, hiking boots and tennis shoes for a casual date when you know her better.
If your teeth are yellow from smoking or coffee, try an over the counter whitening toothpaste. For the best results, spend the money and get the whitening gel and mouthpieces from your dentist. Nothing is sexier than pearly white teeth. Also, if you have any broken teeth, check into bonding. It is an inexpensive way to make your smile look almost perfect.
A Fragrant scent is an important element to attraction. Make sure you shower and shave! Consider trying a new fragrance. Use a slight spritz/spray of cologne - Remember if you can smell it you are wearing too much!
Remember: "You are never fully dressed without a smile!". Maintain good health and exercise regularly at all times. Don't wait till you meet the right one to start working on yourself spiritually, emotionally, physically, and financially.
Next month - keeping healthy and eating right through the holiday season!
SPECIAL EVENTS
Masquerade Benefit in NYC - Oct 25th
Dress up as your favorite character. Event features DJ, lite buffet. Best costume wins a small role in a feature film! Funds raised will benefit a local animal shelter with a "no kill" policy.
Time:8pm - 1am
Cost: $35.00 -
RSVP: heartcelebration@aol.com
Monthly Table for Eight events in NYC, CT, NJ - reserve your place:
Oct 11th NYC (Ages 30-40)
RSVP: heartcelebration@aol.com
Oct 17th NYC (20s)
RSVP: heartcelebration@aol.com
Comments? Suggestions? Special events? Email us contest@Christiancafe.com
See you next issue!
Cafe Staff
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