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I keep having sexual activity in dating.

I keep having sexual activity in dating, even when I intend not to do so. What can I do?

Email after email comes across my screen with one variation or another of the same scenario. It is how a Christian single adult felt strongly about not having sexual activity in their dating, but ended up having sex anyway. The emails continue with a consistent pattern to them. The story unfolds how the relationship began to turn for the worse after having sexual activity. The relationship often ends after only one such activity, or sometimes slowly grinds on with continuing damage to each party.

How do I convince my ex-spouse to take me back?

Take Me Back: Many of you join me in knowing what it is like to make a serious mistake and lose a relationship. This is even more significant when it is a marriage. You made a bad choice, you committed a sin, but now you have embraced your error and God is restoring you. You know that you have changed. But those whom you have hurt are just not giving you a chance to prove that you have changed.

What are ‘blockages’ that can negatively affect a single adult’s life?

Dr. Jim shows us the psychological blockages that should be avoided that some singles build around themselves after painful experiences and behavioral patterns that some develop. He also gives insight into what you should do to discern the ‘real’ cause of these blockages.

Blockages and the impact on your life

In response to an article that I wrote about dating at an older age (Dating For Older Adults), a person wrote asking me to elaborate on what I meant by ‘blockages’ that can negatively affect a person’s life. This is an area that relates to many single adults.

One And Only

Searching for your “one and only”

Do you feel, as you’re searching for your One and Only, that you’re the only one who is pursuing your search in a Godly fashion? I can assure you that you are NOT alone if you do.

I wish that this were not so, but unfortunately, our world is filled with sinners. Even though you have chosen to use a Christian Internet site, you are still relating to sinners. It would be awesome if when we became Christians we no longer sinned. Thank God, though, that He has given us the power over sin through the Holy Spirit and our obeying His guidance.

Yes, it is mostly a lonely search to approach any part of living as a Christian. There are a number of scriptures that come to mind such as Matthew 7:13-14. “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.’ This is the way walking in this world is, even for the Christian seeking their one and only.

Trust. How much is your word worth?

Dr. Jim explains why singles should make sure they don’t break their trust with others while searching for their true love. Some people using online dating can be deceiving and you need to ensure you’re always truthful, even more so when you’re a Christian. Playing games or taking advantage of other people’s feelings is not the way to go if you truly want to meet your Mr. or Mrs. Right online.

Trust. How much is your word worth?

There was a time – long, long ago – when you would often hear the expression ‘Do you give me your word?’. These were the days when a handshake between people was a bond and a trust and could be counted on to not be broken. There are a few of those folks around, but the ‘word’ today is to “beware”.

Disappointment from being let down?

Dear Jim: How can I guard myself from being hurt from the hurt and disappointment that accompanies being let down?

Do you find yourself in a cycle of being let down by others? Do Christians and non-Christians say one thing but when it comes time for action, they just don’t deliver? The pain that comes from such repeated cycles is tremendous and needs to be addressed rather than allow it to ‘imprison’ one from his or her future and the necessary element of trust.

Why doesn’t God bring a spouse into my life?

Are you one of those singles who have a hard time understanding why God hasn’t brought you your future spouse yet? Dr. Jim writes about finding help when loneliness takes over.

Dear Jim: Paul says it is better to marry than to ‘burn’ with passion. If this is true, then why doesn’t God bring a spouse into my life?

Christian singles are awesome people. They so desire to live their life for God and be filled with His Spirit, but they are often filled with the passion for a spouse. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7 that it is a moral challenge to not marry and therefore it is good that one does. If this is true, then why does God not provide a mate for everyone who desires one?!

Addicted to Pornography.

Dr. Jim illustrates how damaging addition can be, even moreso with sexual addiction. What should the Christian single do if they find themselves trapped in this devastating addition?

Dear Jim: What advice do you have for an attraction to pornography on the Internet?

Today I enjoyed lunch with a long time Christian friend who is an Elder in the church I attend. In the course of our conversation he shared about an experience at a recent Church Men’s retreat. The men were asked to complete a survey. One of the questions asked was if they had participated in any form of pornography in the past 30 days. 70% of the men replied YES!!!

Bible verses that helped me during the darkest hours.

Here are some great Bible verses for those who are seeking forgiveness. And, ones showing how the Bible can help us overcome our guilt and struggles. In this blog post, Dr. Jim shows which verses he used when he was struggling and feeling guilty for his past sins.

Resources in the Scriptures

The Bible came to be a steady diet of encouragement and grace during the darkest hours of my journey. I felt worthless and lonely beyond description. In spite of my “feelings”, God was reaching out to me and had wonderful words that my thirsty soul longed to hear.

Satan often visited me and reminded me of my “sins”, especially that I had committed adultery. I memorized the following sets of Bible verses verbatim. Whenever I felt “under attack”, I would begin to say them out loud – one after the other. When I finished, Satan was no where to be found! There was not one time that this did not work for me.

Masturbation: What does God say about it?

Today’s topic is brought to you by Dr. Jim. He explains how single Christians should deal with their natural urges like masturbation and how to seek what God really wants from us.

Dear Jim: What does God say about masturbation?

Here is a topic that is seldom discussed in Christian circles but certainly one very applicable to the single life. I do not find a “black and white” answer in the Bible, but there are some elements that we can draw out of it. Let me share some personal perspectives first.