Take Me Back: Many of you join me in knowing what it is like to make a serious mistake and lose a relationship. This is even more significant when it is a marriage. You made a bad choice, you committed a sin, but now you have embraced your error and God is restoring you. You know that you have changed. But those whom you have hurt are just not giving you a chance to prove that you have changed.
Dr. Jim shows us the psychological blockages that should be avoided that some singles build around themselves after painful experiences and behavioral patterns that some develop. He also gives insight into what you should do to discern the ‘real’ cause of these blockages.
Blockages and the impact on your life
In response to an article that I wrote about dating at an older age (Dating For Older Adults), a person wrote asking me to elaborate on what I meant by ‘blockages’ that can negatively affect a person’s life. This is an area that relates to many single adults.
Dear Jim: How can I guard myself from being hurt from the hurt and disappointment that accompanies being let down?
Do you find yourself in a cycle of being let down by others? Do Christians and non-Christians say one thing but when it comes time for action, they just don’t deliver? The pain that comes from such repeated cycles is tremendous and needs to be addressed rather than allow it to ‘imprison’ one from his or her future and the necessary element of trust.
Are you one of those singles who have a hard time understanding why God hasn’t brought you your future spouse yet? Dr. Jim writes about finding help when loneliness takes over.
Dear Jim: Paul says it is better to marry than to ‘burn’ with passion. If this is true, then why doesn’t God bring a spouse into my life?
Christian singles are awesome people. They so desire to live their life for God and be filled with His Spirit, but they are often filled with the passion for a spouse. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7 that it is a moral challenge to not marry and therefore it is good that one does. If this is true, then why does God not provide a mate for everyone who desires one?!
Dr. Jim illustrates how damaging addition can be, even moreso with sexual addiction. What should the Christian single do if they find themselves trapped in this devastating addition?
Dear Jim: What advice do you have for an attraction to pornography on the Internet?
Today I enjoyed lunch with a long time Christian friend who is an Elder in the church I attend. In the course of our conversation he shared about an experience at a recent Church Men’s retreat. The men were asked to complete a survey. One of the questions asked was if they had participated in any form of pornography in the past 30 days. 70% of the men replied YES!!!
If you find yourself in what you consider to be an abusive relationship, it is VERY important that you seek professional counselling. If necessary for safety, the LAW ENFORCEMENT (POLICE) should be brought into the picture for action.
Dear Jim: Is divorce an option to me if I come from an abusive relationship?
Life becomes very trying at times and some of us have had more than our share of difficulties. One of the most challenging is when one lives in an abusive relationship. I have found that what one calls ‘abusive’ is not necessarily the same as the definition of another.
Here are some great Bible verses for those who are seeking forgiveness. And, ones showing how the Bible can help us overcome our guilt and struggles. In this blog post, Dr. Jim shows which verses he used when he was struggling and feeling guilty for his past sins.
Resources in the Scriptures
The Bible came to be a steady diet of encouragement and grace during the darkest hours of my journey. I felt worthless and lonely beyond description. In spite of my “feelings”, God was reaching out to me and had wonderful words that my thirsty soul longed to hear.
Satan often visited me and reminded me of my “sins”, especially that I had committed adultery. I memorized the following sets of Bible verses verbatim. Whenever I felt “under attack”, I would begin to say them out loud – one after the other. When I finished, Satan was no where to be found! There was not one time that this did not work for me.
Dear Jim: I have fallen and had sex outside of marriage. Can I ever be pure again and forgive myself?
So many emails are received from singles, men and women, sharing that they have fallen into sex in a relationship and now feel unclean and ashamed. They had no intention of doing this, but in a moment of dropping their guard, they quickly fell into the trap.
Dear Jim: Is it wrong to date someone of a much younger age?
This questioned is raised from time to time in an email from a single. The question about age gap relationships is either about men dating younger women or women dating younger men. Does the Bible have anything to say about this? No – there is no scripture that says Christians should not do this. Cultures may vary around the world on this, but God has no instructions in His Word that says anything about age and relationships.