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 Dating Safety Tips 7:07 am EDT   
Take your time
Patience is key to a healthy relationship
Red Flags
Use common sense
Don't be shy
Loads of wonderful Christians waiting to hear from you!
     
 

ChristianCafe.com is a safe place to meet other Christians. There are thousands of members who have met their soulmate here. The Cafe has been designed to be secure and safe, so no one will know who you are unless you tell them. Please note, however, that ChristianCafe.com does not conduct background checks or ensure the accuracy of dating profiles. There are many features that help you meet others safely. Likewise, there are things you can do to protect yourself.

Dating Safety Features

There are many ways ChristianCafe.com provides you with a safe online dating experience.

  • Private Mailbox: You can communicate anonymously via your private Cafe email box.
  • Hide Location: You can hide your city on your profile if you wish. To do so, go to Profile Settings under the Profile menu.
  • Filtering Technology: We have technology in place that weeds out scammer profiles. It's not 100% but it's quite good and we are constantly retooling it to provide you the best possible environment.
  • Mailblock: You can apply a mailblock on any member so that they can no longer communicate with you. To do so, view the member's profile and click the 'Apply Mailblock' link. Likewise, you can do this via the IM window while you are conversing via IM.
  • Username Change: If your username reveals personal information, such as your last name, you can change it via your Profile Settings under the Profile menu. Alternately you can write to us and ask us to change your username to one you suggest.

Protect Yourself When Dating Online

While using the Cafe, there are things you can do to keep your account secure.

  • Keep your Password Secure: Don't divulge your password to anyone. Secondly, if you access ChristianCafe.com from a shared computer (shared with roommates, or a public computer such as at a library) do not save your username and password in your Web browser.
  • Log Out: If you use a shared or public computer, use the LOG-OUT option at the top right of your account to log out.

It is your responsibility to take the time to ensure the person you are corresponding with is trustworthy. Agree to meet someone in person only when you are ready. The following tips will help you retain your privacy and safety when meeting others on the Cafe.

  • Take Your Time: There is no need to rush into a relationship with the first profile you view on the Cafe. Having a secure, stable relationship should be important to you and the person with whom you are corresponding. Never give out your email address, phone number, IM information, full name, work information or any other contact information to a complete stranger. If the other person is really serious about starting a healthy relationship with you, s/he will respect your desire for safety and your commitment to developing a healthy relationship.
  • Correspond on the Cafe to Start: Keep your correspondence on the Cafe (use your mailbox or instant messaging) and get to know someone over an extended period (a few weeks) so that you can determine if someone is honest, if their behaviour is consistent and whether this person is someone you'd like to get to know even better.
  • Ask a lot of Questions: Some members present only their most positive aspects; some of their negative aspects might not be apparent the first few days they correspond with you. Other members provide very little information in their dating profile or their letters. Be wary of such contacts and ask a lot of questions to help you get a better perception of the person with whom you're corresponding.
  • Use a Non Descript Email Account: If you decide to communicate outside of the Cafe, use an email account other than your main personal or work account. There are many free email services available such as Gmail, Yahoo! Mail, and Hotmail that you can use for this.
  • Use Call Block: If you decide to communicate by phone, apply call block before calling. Ask your phone company if you are unsure how to do this.
  • Meet in a Public Place: If you decide to meet in person, choose a public place and stay in a public place. If s/he is serious about the relationship, s/he will be glad to ensure you feel safe. Do not accept offers to have him/her pick you up or drop you off. Choose public transportation, your own vehicle, a taxi, or better yet, have a friend arrange the transportation for you. If things do not feel right, LEAVE. Better safe than sorry.

Red Flags: Warning Signs When Dating Online

Take your time to ensure the people you are meeting on the Cafe are serious about your safety and a healthy relationship. Some of the potential warning signals include the following:

  • The member offers his/her email address or asks for your email address, phone number, IM information, or other contact information when you barely know him/her
  • The member is elusive in providing answers (within reasonable time) to a lot of your questions
  • The behaviour of the member seems to fluctuate or change drastically from one day to the next or from the first contact to later contacts
  • The member acts harshly, then the next email apologizes profusely; later this member acts harshly towards you again.
  • The member wants to meet you at some private location (his house, his "friend's" place, your place)
  • The member needs money for a bus ticket, plane ticket, taxi, etc., and wants you to send it to him/her.

While we want you to be cautious, we also want you to have fun on the site and meet people in person if that is what is best for you :)

What kind of precautions would you want your friends to take when meeting someone they met on the Internet?

Make the Most of Your Time on ChristianCafe.com

You need to be concerned for your general safety, but there are wonderful people on the Cafe who are interested in you and are waiting to hear from you! The Cafe is about relationships and we want you to enjoy your time, after all :)

Some members write to us because they aren't receiving enough mail or replies from those they've written to. In the vast majority of cases this is because they haven't sent very much mail. Developing a relationship, especially via the Internet, takes a lot of time. You need to persevere. And, you need to write to lots of people on the Cafe. If you haven't already done so please read about writing a more appealing dating profile for some great tips. Here are some other tips to help you fill your mailbox:

  • Participate in Forum Discussions: Forums are not only a fun way to discuss various topics with fellow Cafe members; your participation also builds interest in you! By engaging others in discussion, more members will view your profile and (hopefully!) contact you to get to know you better.
  • Join in the Chat Discussions: Chat rooms, which are for paid members only, is another avenue for meeting people. Conversations in the chat rooms take place in real-time and can frequently change topics. To sign up for a paid membership please see your Membership page inside your account. Use your Who's On page inside your account to see who's in the chat rooms.
  • Post Photos: Try and pick photos you feel are flattering, in which you are smiling, looking both confident and happy. Show one where you are doing something you enjoy :) People who are self-confident tend to be regarded as more attractive than those who are insecure about their looks.
  • View the New Users List Each Day: Accessed via the Search menu, view who is new on the Cafe and welcome those you are interested in.
  • Get New Member Alerts via Email: Once you create a Saved Search with the criteria you are looking for in a match, set it so an email alert is sent to you letting you know about new members who join who meet your criteria. There are various options available in terms of frequency of the emails. It's up to you!
  • Write Lots of Mail!: There are thousands of members on ChristianCafe.com. The best way to get others to notice you is to send mail to those you're interested in getting to know.

Those who are online more often, involved in letter writing, send Instant Messages, and join in on the forums or chat room discussions consistently report making more friends in the Cafe - even meeting that special someone :)


Yes, People Do Meet Meet Through the Cafe

There are thousands upon thousands of couples who have met their soulmate on ChristianCafe.com. We post some of their experiences which they submit to us on our Testimonials page. We want you to enjoy your time on ChristianCafe.com. There are thousands of Godly men and women who are serious about starting a healthy relationship. Do not hesitate to contact others whom you find interesting; just be sure that if you find someone you think is of "special" interest that you take your time :)


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