Sometimes when we think we are involved in a seemingly wonderful and fulfilling relationship, the carpet is pulled out from under our feet and we find ourselves alone once again – and not sure why our “significant other” left.
I met someone online and the relationship was going great – but then he/she left abruptly. What did I do wrong?
Emails are often received with a story of how the person met someone online and enjoyed an awesome experience. This experience ranges from just one meeting to several months in length. All seems to be going supernaturally well, then suddenly the person either disappears OR says that they have met someone else. Were there signals that should have been seen? Is it something that someone did wrong?
Dr. Jim provides advice on the process of having a healthy relationship in the online dating scene and steps to take (and not take) to find your perfect match.
Dear Jim: Are there general guidelines for screening people that perhaps I can use in the future to avoid the bad experience I had?
You are one of many who have written to me with a similar question. Yes, I do believe that some guidelines SHOULD be created (called boundaries) as you approach any relationship – especially over the Internet.
Guide to start a successful relationship Online
The first one is NOT to develop any undue expectations PRIOR to meeting one in person. Approaching the subject of marriage before even meeting should be a sign that “expectations” are getting ahead of the process. I could not state this too strongly. Would also suggest that approaching the subject of marriage even after meeting for the first period of time should not be done. The single biggest cause of heartache in finding relationships is unrealistic expectations.