Advice: Scams

While the overwhelming majority of members are using the site for its intended goals to bring together Christian singles for fellowship and romance, there are Internet scammers out there who will try to dupe you (though we are very good at catching and removing those who log profiles with us). This is a problem among all dating and social networking sites and is an issue we take seriously. This is a problem that we spend lots of time and resources to combat.

While being contacted by these types of individuals is an annoyance, please help us help you by not responding to them, and reporting them to us.

Our Commitment to You

We do the following to help deter scam activity:

  • Sophisticated Technology: We have technology in place that keeps many scammers from ever entering Those that do enter our site can usually be spotted by specific patterns that we also track and monitor.
  • Monitoring and Profile Removal: Members report scammer profiles and activity to us. Upon investigation, we remove scammer accounts. Cafe staff also monitor activity on the site.
  • Education: We promote safety in numerous places on the Cafe. You have come to the right place!
  • Continuous Improvement: We are constantly improving our techniques to keep undesirable individuals from contacting legitimate Cafe members. While this is all done behind the scenes, be assured that it is taking place.

Our Expectation of You

We expect you to use sound judgment when writing to people you have never met.

  • Do not send money to anyone: No matter how good the relationship seems to be going, do not give money to anyone who asks. Think about it. This should be a red flag to you (Would you ask someone you'd never met for money?)
  • Be Patient: There is no need to rush into a relationship with someone you don't yet know. Having a secure, stable relationship should be important to you and the person with whom you are corresponding. Never give out your email address, phone number, messenger information, Facebook details, full name, work information or any other contact information to a complete stranger. If the other person is really serious about starting a healthy relationship with you, s/he will respect your desire for safety and your commitment to developing a healthy relationship.
Take at least one week using our site's mailbox to get to know someone, before giving out your private contact information (if you are a trial member of our site you are not permitted to give others your contact information).

Types of Scams

There are many different scams on the Internet and they are adjusted over time in an effort to find new ways of duping too trusting individuals. Some of the typical scams on the Internet include the following:

  • Love scam: The scammer will express their deep love for you (even though they've never met you) and they will often say they've singled out your profile. More often than not the letter looks like it's generic (i.e. a form letter designed for anyone). If it's a man, he'll be vague about his profession but will almost always mention that he travels extensively. It may take two to three letters, but he'll likely mention travel to Africa or Malaysia. Male scammers often target women aged 50 and older. If it's a woman she'll likely mention Africa, Russia or Ukraine. Female scammers often target men who are older by at least 20 years.
    The next step is to get you to send them money for some dire cause (mother is sick and needs an operation; can't pay a bill; stuck in a hotel with no money; need money desperately to save a business deal, etc.). Or, they may claim they wish to meet you and need you to purchase a plane ticket so they can visit you. This is a very common request for Russian scammers and some in China.
  • Charity scam: Some scammers will try to appeal to your sense of generosity by saying they need funding to help with their ministry, money for food or urgent operation, help getting out of their country, etc. Read more information on this approach the scammers are using to target Christians.
  • Money Order scam: The scammer asks for your help in cashing money orders, while you 'reimburse' them by sending cash directly to them. The victim soon finds out from their bank the money orders are fake but has already sent the 'reimbursement'.
  • Million Dollar scam: If you receive a message asking for your help in distributing millions of dollars from someone who has never met you or had any prior contact with you, rest assured it's a scam. The person sending the information to you does not know who you are and doesn't care. They likely live in Nigeria, Ghana or Malaysia and are looking for people who are gullible enough to think they can make several million dollars in a single transaction with someone they have never met.

Other Signs

Other signs to look out for:

  • Asking you to contact them outside the Cafe in the first couple of messages
  • Frequently using words like "baby" and "dear"
  • Those professing their love for you, even during their first contact
  • Grammar does not fit listed level of education
  • They will often mention that "age is just a number" or "distance is no barrier to love"

Please note that if a member has poor grammar or calls you "dear", this doesn't mean they are a scammer. We're just listing a general pattern to watch out for.

Reporting Scammers

Please report any scammer accounts you come across. Our staff will promptly investigate the matter. You can attach screenshots of conversations, too.
If we have not already dealt with the scammer when we process your email, we will respond to let you know.

Thank you for your efforts in helping keep a clean and scammer-free site.