Singles can get confused and not sure when and what should be shared with a potential mate they have just met. What is the best to share about your previous relationships, when and where is the best way to open up when starting a new relationship? Christians singles can get caught up with wondering if to be open in a first meeting is a good and Christian way to deal with new relationships. Dr. Jim explains what should be said (and when).
When and what is appropriate information to share when meeting someone?
The interaction between single adults when they are considering a potential relationship is a critical time. Each one desires to be on their best behavior and make their best presentation. It is also a time when each is hopeful that they are being given an accurate picture and can make a proper assessment. Is this the time to share everything about each other? What information should be shared?
A personality test is a great way for couples who are thinking about marriage to ensure that they are objectively perceiving and communicating in all major areas of their relationship. When searching for a better and more accurate information about your other half, having a personality test is a great way to find out the “success rate” for your future marriage. Dr. Jim explains why premarital counseling should be taken with such personality tests.
Is there a personality test or something similar that couples can take to ensure they are compatible?
An email was received this week stating that he understood that opposites are supposed to attract, but how does one know if they are too opposite? This is a great question. Some differences are healthy in a relationship, but too much, especially in significant areas, can be disastrous. How does one receive an accurate and objective feedback in the major areas of a relationship?
As a single parent, child safety is the highest priority that you should have when dating someone you’ve met online. Dr. Jim explains what a single parent should do when first meeting singles online and what can be done to protect children from potential child molesters. Get great tips about Internet Safety for single parents.
Internet Safety: How can I be sure that a man I meet online is not a child molester?
The safety of children is a high priority for every parent. I wish that I could report that every contact with someone via an online Christian service is with a confirmed mature Christian without any concerns for safety. Unfortunately, the risk is even greater in my opinion for you to meet someone who is not who they present themselves to be if you are using the Internet. You should be concerned about your personal safety as well as the safety of your children.
Dating after divorce. What does the Bible tell us about divorce? Should you date after a divorce? Dr. Jim explains God’s desires for us and what should we do when we start thinking about dating after being through a divorce. Who is allowed and who isn’t allowed to get a divorce according to the Bible?
Dating After Divorce: If I did not cause the divorce, can I date and marry again without being sinful?
Divorce creates many victims. It has become a terrible black eye on our society as divorce sweeps across the land like a forest fire. Almost every day this time of year we turn on our television sets to find another forest fire raging out of control. While I suggest that the damage is even greater in a divorce, it is not as ‘apparent’ or visible to us without taking a second look.
To be able to provide an answer to this question, I would like to begin with the foundation that the Bible provides to us. Matthew 5 and 1Corinthians 7 are the main passages that relate to divorce. The Matthew verses share that there is no grounds for divorce other than if the other spouse is unfaithful in the marriage. If this does occur, the other spouse has the ‘option’ to initiate a divorce.
Family is a huge part of someone’s life and some singles can feel lonely when they realize that being single cannot complete them like a family would. However, Dr. Jim shows how every single who feel lonely at times can be assured that they are part of a Heavenly Family. God the Father is with us even in our most dark (or lonely) moments.
Belong to a Family.
Each of us was created to belong. It is something that God placed into our very being and it is a powerful force. I can recall driving around after my divorce and seeing a husband and wife together, or perhaps with children, and breaking down and bawling like a baby because I was not in a family. This reaction went on for several years and it was something that I had to process to find wholeness again.
Interpersonal skills are very important when we are dealing with people we’re trying to impress, such a as prospective match. Even just listening to someone can impact how that person sees and relates to us. It’s also important to have a buddy support group to help with your people skills.
Do you have a love statement? Part III
In previous articles (Do you have a love statement? – Part I and Non-verbal communication – Part II), we have discussed how we make statements to others through both verbal and non-verbal communication. It was also pointed out that 65% of our communication is non-verbal, the part that has the biggest impact.
Our non-verbal communication with others is responsible for over 65% of our behavior. Dr. Jim explains the difference between low self-worth and self-centeredness and how we can identify and avoid these kinds of behaviours when dealing with others – and especially with a prospect match. And how to improve our non-verbal communication.
Non-verbal communication – Do you have a love statement? – Part II
Do you have a love statement? – Part I illustrated how both the verbal and non-verbal communication combine to present a ‘statement’ to others. In relationships, or potential relationships, these ingredients become what I call our ‘love statement’. It is the total projection that we present to others.
Dr. Jim explains how our “love statements” (verbal and also non-verbals statements) can impact our relationships with others. When using dating websites such as ChristianCafe.com, singles are only able to know part of the real person on the other side of the screen and they should be aware that what makes a sucessful “click” isn’t just what we see on the screen, or what we desire in a partner, and how the impact of their love statement can grow the relationship or finish it.
Do you have a love statement? – Part I
Love Statement – Several years ago there was a popular TV show called the ‘Dating Game’. A divider was placed about the middle of the stage – with three possible ‘dates’ on one side and the host and the contestant on the other side. The objective of the game was to determine which of the three possible dates the contestant would choose, without being able to see the three possible dates in person. The contestant could only ask questions and had to make up her or his mind based solely upon their voices and their answers. The audience was the only one able to see all the participants. This total view allowed them to see how far off the mark the answers were misleading the contestant. The game pointedly revealed the huge gap that exists when people are not able to see one another in person.
Singles usually wonder if the person they meet in a dating website will have some kind of physical attraction between them when they meet in person. Dr. Jim explains what kind of chemistry a person should expect to feel when meeting the person for the first time.
Is physical attraction something that can be developed?
Physical attraction is a word that is often used by single adults when describing what they are seeking in a relationship. Before I provide an answer to the above question, let me define ‘physical attraction’ as used in a relationship.
Reality can be distorted by our views of ourselves and the world. How can we prevent ourselves from falling into the trap of illusions and distortion that can interfere with our lives? Steps can be taken to get back to reality and heal ourselves in the process. Singles will then realize that the ‘real thing’ is much better than any mirage.
Reality – Are you chasing a mirage? Part III
Part I Are you chasing a mirage? Part I showed how our lives can often find us in the desert. There is much that can be gained from such an experience. Part II Illusion – Are you chasing a mirage? Part II illustrated how we can allow some of our attention to become so strong that things can become like a mirage and become an unhealthy force over our lives.