When Christians ask themselves how to forgive or giving forgiveness to others: Dr. Jim explains what we should do and what is expected from us, as God’s children. If you’re looking for forgiveness or trying to find terms to forget someone who wronged you, this is a must read. This article can help you find ways to seek forgiveness and/or how to forgive someone.
How to forgive.
Life on this earth is not perfect. I know this will be a shock to some of you, but it just isn’t so. However, for Christians, this is as bad as it will get. I often think that life on earth is the Christian’s Hell. Have you ever wondered why God did not just take us straight to Heaven when we become His children? He always has a plan and this fact is certainly part of His plan.
Love Addiction afflicts thousands of singles. How can you deal with compulsive behaviour like this in a Christian manner? What is the void in their lives that they are trying to fill? Dr. Jim gives a detailed account on how to get help if you’re caught up in this kind of behaviour.
Love Addiction: Is the Internet your drug of choice? Part 2
How does one deal with compulsive behavior in Internet usage? I am not a trained counselor but some practical items come to mind that I invite you to consider:
1. You cannot “think” your way to stopping this behavior. (Intellectual)
2. You cannot “feel” your way to stopping this behavior. (Emotions)
3. To change one must deal with the force behind the behavior. (Self-image/Spirit)
Christian and single and addicted to the web in trying to find a mate? A fun activity can become harmful for you and others around you. Dr. Jim provides a clear path on properly searching for your future spouse online and how the Internet can be a great tool – or a crutch to some singles. See how to realize you need professional help in deal with such situations.
Internet Addiction: Is the Internet your drug of choice? Part 1
Webster’s Dictionary for Drug: something (and often an illegal substance) that causes addiction, habituation, or a marked change in consciousness
Anyone who really knows me will tell you that I LOVE new technology. My professional career began with the automation of banking years ago. I was among the first in the insurance agency industry to automate my office to computers. The Internet has opened new doors and opportunities and I embraced the opportunity and calling to use it to serve single adults. I think that the Internet has brought one of the greatest revolutions to mankind that we will likely ever experience.
Dr. Jim explains how to spot early signs of a violent partner and how to guard yourself from falling into the trap of having a violent spouse and a broken marriage later on.
Domestic violence – What early signs should I look for to tell if a man might have the tendency to abuse women?
This is a great question and one that many women should be asking. I am not a trained counsellor and not able to provide the ‘clinical’ answer. However, I do have experience and insights as a Pastor relating to many single adults.
Some Christian singles find their expectations of love shredded by the fact that the other person doesn’t feel the same way. What to do when love is not returned, but you feel that God has put this person in your life for a reason? Dr. Jim explains what do to when you face a unrequited love.
“Unrequited Love”, when someone whom I think God has sent to be my mate doesn’t agree (or even know I exist): what am I to do?
This statement of unrequited love or one similar to it is often received in an email to me. Sometimes the person will describe how in a dream or vision God described their future mate to them. The person that they met fits this description perfectly. However, the other person isn’t attracted to them or maybe doesn’t that they exist! The added confusion comes in the fact that this single adult is so sure that this is the one that God destined for them and cannot understand why the other person does not see this, too.
I love you can be powerful but should you expect to hear that while using a dating site online?
I Love You: The most intoxicating words on the Internet!
Online dating can be fun and exciting. The thought of possibly finding someone who matches all your dreams and wishes is very motivating. I cannot imagine anyone approaching the Internet without the strong motivation that this could be the vehicle where they find their ‘love.’
One day you walk in and either find a profile that blows your mind or an email from someone who shares how they read your profile and found a lot of common ground. The words begin to flow (either from them or perhaps from you to them) as you share with excitement how much they match what you have been seeking. The excitement is heightened when the other person responds and they share your excitement. Wow – now hearts begin to pound and your mind races as you send emails blazing back and forth.
Some singles are skeptical about online dating but we beg to differ! There are several great reasons for you to check out and be part of one of the most successful dating websites. Here are some great insights about why Christian Online Dating is a great way for you to meet and connect with other Christian singles. If you try it, you might find marriage in the process!
Should You try Christian Online Dating
Many single Christians are not sure if they should try Christian online dating. Reasons can be:
- They’ve tried it in the past,
- Friends and family who have tried, keep telling them to give it a shot,
- Just never had a chance to try it,
- They’re too shy or embarrassed to try it.
Dr. Jim explains how our “love statements” (verbal and also non-verbals statements) can impact our relationships with others. When using dating websites such as ChristianCafe.com, singles are only able to know part of the real person on the other side of the screen and they should be aware that what makes a sucessful “click” isn’t just what we see on the screen, or what we desire in a partner, and how the impact of their love statement can grow the relationship or finish it.
Do you have a love statement? – Part I
Love Statement – Several years ago there was a popular TV show called the ‘Dating Game’. A divider was placed about the middle of the stage – with three possible ‘dates’ on one side and the host and the contestant on the other side. The objective of the game was to determine which of the three possible dates the contestant would choose, without being able to see the three possible dates in person. The contestant could only ask questions and had to make up her or his mind based solely upon their voices and their answers. The audience was the only one able to see all the participants. This total view allowed them to see how far off the mark the answers were misleading the contestant. The game pointedly revealed the huge gap that exists when people are not able to see one another in person.
Commitment. How long should you date before making a commitment? When Christian singles feel that relationships and love become too complicated or move too slowly, what to do? Is waiting worth it for those who want to commit and know what they are looking for in a partner?
Dear Jim: Is it possible that we fail more and more because we are extending the steps and are making the process more and more complicated?
You pose an interesting scenario and I can understand where you are coming from. My response comes out of my personal experience as well as what I have observed in relating to several thousand single adults in recent years.
A breakup is never easy, even if the relationship was unhealthy. Many singles still have strong feelings about the other person, but have doubts about giving the relationship another try. Is this kind of relationship worth pursuing? See below for what Dr. Jim has to say about the breakup of a unhealthy relationship and the best way to go about it.
Breakup, but still want to return to the relationship.
Dear Jim: I recently had a breakup with my boyfriend (an unhealthy relationship). Now I have these strong feelings of rejection and wanting to return to the relationship. What can I do?
You have made the mutual choice to stop the relationship and step away. However, your emotions are screaming, ‘I want to vote!’ It is when we allow our ’emotions’ to lead us that we get into trouble. Those who take this approach to relationships find that they repeat bad cycles. They seem to end up with the same type of people in relationships and with the same bad results.