Can Someone Change Their Behavior, In Order To Make a Relationship Work?

can someone change?In today’s advice column, Dr. Jim advises on whether to stay in a relationship with someone who needs to change in order for the relationship to work.


WHEN IS EXPECTING A PERSON TO CHANGE NOT GOOD?

People can change for the positive

A friend of mine (who is a counsellor) and I were having a conversation recently. He stated that he has never seen a modification in a person unless there was a significant crisis that provided the motivation to change. While I concurred with the fact that this is usually the way it happens, I shared that I was also pleased that people can change for the positive if and when their world of reference is changed. My world expanded when a mentor opened my thinking that I could do more than what I had experienced in the past.

Wait on God for a Spouse?… or Actively Date?

Wait on God for a spouse?Dr. Jim advises on whether Christians should pursue finding a spouse, or simply wait on God to provide a husband or wife.


Dear Jim: SHOULD I NOT DATE AND SIT BACK AND WAIT FOR GOD TO BRING MY MATE TO ME?

There are some Christian leaders that counsel others to wait on God to bring their mate to them. Their counsel is to not date and just wait on God. I do not agree with this approach as a general principal.

Dating With Children After Divorce: Advice for single parents

Dating with ChildrenDr. Jim shares his dating advice for those who are divorced with children.


Dear Jim: DO YOU HAVE ANY DATING ADVICE FOR THOSE WHO HAVE CHILDREN?

Children’s emotions also go through emotional turbulence during and after a divorce. When the parent(s) begin to date, this can significantly cause a lot of stress and pain in the family. I am the child of a divorce as well as have counselled many with children. Here are some considerations as relates to the children of a divorce:

Dating Advice for Widows

Dating Advice for WidowsPastor Jim provides advice regarding widows and dating.


Dear Jim: I AM A RECENT WIDOW AND WANT TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE ANY SPECIFIC DATING ADVICE FOR ME?

I am pleased at the “peace” you have regarding your husband and his presence with our Lord. While it does not remove many of the things you are learning to deal with, it is a great gift.

Before you entertain dating, I do have some suggestions for you. Allow me to share them as points below for your consideration.

Living Together Before Marriage: Relationship Advice

Should this happy couple live together before marriage?
Pastor Jim provides advice on the topic of cohabitation before marriage, providing both biblical and non-biblical reasoning.


Dear Jim: WHAT IS WRONG WITH LIVING TOGETHER BEFORE WE GET MARRIED?

Demos have become a way of life in most parts of the world. We would not buy a car before we drove it and ‘checked it out’ – nor a television and even a piece of clothing. So many singles come from painful past experiences and they want ‘to be sure’ that they do not experience this again. The logic often develops that if this is true for other less important things, then a ‘test’ drive before marriage would certainly be in order.

Ask The Person You’re Dating for a Credit Report?

Ask your potential spouse for a credit report?

Money is one of the most common reasons for a couple divorcing. Thus, it’s important to be with someone who is compatible with your idea of financial prudence. That said, would you go as far as asking your potential spouse for a credit report? Pastor Jim weighs in.


Would you like to see a Credit Report for someone you are considering dating? Would you provide a Credit Report if someone asked you in consideration of building a relationship?

Sadly too many single adults have made poor choices, or been impacted by the choices of others, that place them in poor financial condition. The force to connect sometimes prompts people to take risk beyond reason. The results are more often than not devastating to their financial health. I strongly encourage singles to stop before taking financial risks and seek wise counsel before taking the plunge. If this were true, would it not be prudent to obtain a financial report before entering into a possible relationship?

What is love? Am I In Love? How To Know You’re In Love

what is love
College was an interesting time for me, especially that first semester. I can still recall walking into my first English class. The professor appeared a few minutes later and introduced himself to us. Then he gave us our first assignment. He asked us to take a few minutes and to write out our definition for love. I found this very simple exercise to about what is love not to be simple at all.