Wait on God for a Spouse?… or Actively Date?

Wait on God for a spouse?Dr. Jim advises on whether Christians should pursue finding a spouse, or simply wait on God to provide a husband or wife.


There are some Christian leaders that counsel others to wait on God to bring their mate to them. Their counsel is to not date and just wait on God. I do not agree with this approach as a general principal.

Care for the garden

God puts us in the “garden” of life. In the garden, are we to sit back and let Him take care of us? Or has He given us the charge to care for the garden and the weeding is ours? Yep, God clearly says that we are to work.

It is easier for Him to guide a “moving” car than one parked.

I think that the same can be applied to finding a mate. While we are to TOTALLY depend upon God for His guidance, it does not mean that we are to sit down and wait. It is easier for Him to guide a “moving” car than one parked. I do not mean that we should be racing ahead of him either. Too often we like to take over the “work” aspect of finding a mate and rush into relationships where He is not leading us and ones not good for us.

Should you wait for God’s timing?

He will guide us – Let him do so

God guides us to a balanced life. We need to be about building up all areas of our lives – our walk with Him, our physical/mental side, and building great friendships. He will guide us as we walk with Him to make good decisions – mates and otherwise.

Too often we take over the controls from God and do not let Him guide us. If you are not filling yourself with His presence, then you are taking a huge gamble and the odds for finding the best mate for you are next to nil.

Don’t date for the sake of dating – but do get involved

Finally, do not date just to date or fill lonely hours. I continue to encourage you to make and build friendships that are endearing and mutually rewarding. These are some of the greatest jewels in life. If you are seeking His voice, being involved with things that benefit your life, and serving others – God will use these to bless you in many ways. Will this guarantee you will find a mate? No. This is not a black and white formula; it is a way of life that reaps its rewards.

God does know what is best for you and when. You CAN count on Him to provide.


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2 comments on “Wait on God for a Spouse?… or Actively Date?Add yours →

  1. I completely agree. I’ve often wondered why Christians who would never dream of ‘waiting on God’ for a new job or a new house think it is a sign of not trusting God’s ability to provide when you actively look for a date, use an online dating service, or find a church with a singles group.

  2. Thank you so much for great advice I dream simple family but full of love ❤️ in god

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