Addicted to Pornography.

Pornography
Pornography and the Christian singles today.

Dr. Jim illustrates how damaging addition can be, even moreso with sexual addiction.   What should the Christian single do if they find themselves trapped in this devastating addition?  

Dear Jim: What advice do you have for an attraction to pornography on the Internet?

Today I enjoyed lunch with a long time Christian friend who is an Elder in the church I attend. In the course of our conversation he shared about an experience at a recent Church Men’s retreat. The men were asked to complete a survey. One of the questions asked was if they had participated in any form of pornography in the past 30 days. 70% of the men replied YES!!!

10 Pieces of Marriage Advice

Marriage Advice

Today’s blog post was written by one of our ChristianCafe.com members.

Below is a list of 10 pieces of marriage advice for singles who are seeking their special someone and desire some good tips about making their future union successful.    

Marriage Advice for singles.

Finding a soulmate can be easier than keeping a relationship healthy. The same is true when we talk about matrimony.  In today’s world, we see the devastation of divorce on the lives of couples and especially their children (if they have them).  We understand that we all fall short of the glory of God, but families can be destroyed when two people go into a relationship without the knowledge of how to serve and truly love their spouse as Christ loves the Church.  

Christian Dating Advice: Who do you go to for help?

Christian Dating Advice

When singles are looking for someone to help, they’ll look for Christian dating advice, or search for tips on how to handle difficult situations, or the best way to deal with a potential relationship. Dr. Jim presents below some dating tips for Christian singles on how to handle these situations. Who is the best person for you to look for when you need help?


Who do you go to for Christian Dating Advice?

Life often presents challenges that are beyond our experience. When you find these occasions confronting you – where do you turn for help? This may seem like a strange article for one who gives suggestions to write. I suggest that it is actually one of the more important articles that I could possibly present. Everyone wants to share guidance, but is it the solution that is best for you?

Long distance relationship: Expectations vs reality.

Long distance relationship: Reality vs Expectation

Long distance relationships have theirs ups and downs and we shouldn’t allow our fantasies to blur reality when using online dating.


What advice would you have about dating online and long distance relationships?

The development of any relationship is challenging – but long distance does add some unique aspects to consideration. Although I am sure not all-inclusive, here are some thoughts that I believe one should consider as they entertain long distance relationships.

Relationship Guide: Tips to start a successful relationship when dating online.

Relationship guide to dating online

Dr. Jim provides advice on the process of having a healthy relationship in the online dating scene and steps to take (and not take) to find your perfect match.


Dear Jim: Are there general guidelines for screening people that perhaps I can use in the future to avoid the bad experience I had?

You are one of many who have written to me with a similar question. Yes, I do believe that some guidelines SHOULD be created (called boundaries) as you approach any relationship – especially over the Internet.

Guide to start a successful relationship Online

  • The first one is NOT to develop any undue expectations PRIOR to meeting one in person. Approaching the subject of marriage before even meeting should be a sign that “expectations” are getting ahead of the process. I could not state this too strongly. Would also suggest that approaching the subject of marriage even after meeting for the first period of time should not be done. The single biggest cause of heartache in finding relationships is unrealistic expectations.

Broken Trust and Relationships

Broken Trust & Relationships

Pastor Jim discusses broken trust in relationships, how to rebuild that trust, and when and how to move on.


Trust takes time to build, but can be lost in a moment

Trust is such a valuable item. It takes a lot of time, energy, and consistency to build trust but it can be lost in a moment. I like to go to the dictionary to ground myself in the source of the word. Webster defines trust as: assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something.

Christian Dating & Kissing

Kissing & Christian Dating

Kissing and cuddling while in a Christian dating relationship, Pastor Jim shares his thoughts about physical contact while dating.  What are your thoughts? Do you agree? Give this advice piece a read and let us know your thoughts in the comments below!

Aside: We have more than a few testimonials (including Carolyn and Marty – “Our first kiss was at the altar” – and Veronique and Thomas – “And, yes, that [wedding] day we exchanged our very first kiss on the lips”) of couples who waited until their wedding day to have their first kiss.

Seeking Your Perfect Match?

The Perfect Match?

In today’s advice column, Pastor Jim discusses the notion of finding “The Perfect Match


As I interact with single adults, it quickly surfaces that there are many who have too high expectations for a match, or many who have very low standards. A great myth that keeps many dating sites profitable is the belief that if one searches long enough they will find the perfect match. This approach reminds me of the saying about finding a perfect church, if you find one DO NOT JOIN for it will no longer be perfect! This is certainly true when it comes to finding the perfect match in a relationship.