Dr. Jim illustrates how damaging addition can be, even moreso with sexual addiction. What should the Christian single do if they find themselves trapped in this devastating addition?
Dear Jim: What advice do you have for an attraction to pornography on the Internet?
Today I enjoyed lunch with a long time Christian friend who is an Elder in the church I attend. In the course of our conversation he shared about an experience at a recent Church Men’s retreat. The men were asked to complete a survey. One of the questions asked was if they had participated in any form of pornography in the past 30 days. 70% of the men replied YES!!!
It’s not just men who are addicted to pornography.
Before you began casting stones at men, I must also share that this addiction is prevalent among women, too. This has been shared with me in many emails received from Christian men and women.
What is happening that men and women would chose this form of lust? One thing is the fact that it is too easily available over the Internet – without accountability.
I can hear the words from singles that say, ‘what’s the harm’? This is usually followed with some statement along the lines that they were married and it is not easy for them to not have a sex life. (I have written an article on masturbation, which you can find: Masturbation
In the state of loneliness and abandonment, too many singles are making the wrong choice to turn to pornography. It is a trap straight from hell and the consequences within the spirit and psychic of the single are significant. Let me share some of the consequences.
Consequences of using pornography online:
- This practice places relationship into the category of pleasure. This act is totally self-centered and builds an appetite that is impossible to satisfy. Like all addictions (sins), it begins with just a little step – thinking that one can control it. However, it soon grows and changes the focus of the single to placing too much emphasis on the physical side of a relationship.
- The one who practices this next begins to see the other gender purely as a means to satisfy this appetite. Their eyes become filled with looking for the physical attributes of the opposite gender almost entirely.
The sexual pictures seen make a permanent impression into the mind of the single. It is very difficult to take back control over this practice – possible, but very difficult. As the mind is filled with these images, it has less room for the mind of God and the ability to hear His voice.
- The funds paid to these sites fuel sin upon sin. The singles that pays for this practice funds the purveyors of sex in every form. You have no control over what form of sex will be multiplied when you support this practice. For one, think of all the child sexual offenders you are providing a source for their deviance.
The main challenge is that it warps the mind as to what is really important. If and when God should bring someone into your life for a potential mate, the single is so filled with self-centeredness and pleasure seeking that they either approach him or her wrong or not at all.
- Romans chapter 1 has a lot to say about what God allows for those who follow this form of practice. Romans 8 shares with us how we are to fill our minds (with His Spirit). The two cannot occupy the same space. Colossians 3:2 instruct us to set our mind on things that are of God and not of this earth.
If you are tempted with pornography
If you are tempted with this practice, I urge you to consider the total aspect of what you are doing. I plead with you in His Spirit to walk a higher path that will bring you the joy and peace you desire. The voice prompting you to do this is either one within you that feeds your selfish side and/or directly of Satan. It is robbing you of the peace and clean spirit that you can live by. It will not satisfy you and it keeps God from being able to do His maximum in your life.
Is it easy? No – the walk on this earth is not easy. His way is the best!!