Dr. Jim illustrates how damaging addition can be, even moreso with sexual addiction. What should the Christian single do if they find themselves trapped in this devastating addition?
Dear Jim: What advice do you have for an attraction to pornography on the Internet?
Today I enjoyed lunch with a long time Christian friend who is an Elder in the church I attend. In the course of our conversation he shared about an experience at a recent Church Men’s retreat. The men were asked to complete a survey. One of the questions asked was if they had participated in any form of pornography in the past 30 days. 70% of the men replied YES!!!
It’s not just men who are addicted to pornography.
Before you began casting stones at men, I must also share that this addiction is prevalent among women, too. This has been shared with me in many emails received from Christian men and women.
What is happening that men and women would chose this form of lust? One thing is the fact that it is too easily available over the Internet – without accountability.
I can hear the words from singles that say, ‘what’s the harm’? This is usually followed with some statement along the lines that they were married and it is not easy for them to not have a sex life. (I have written an article on masturbation, which you can find: Masturbation
In the state of loneliness and abandonment, too many singles are making the wrong choice to turn to pornography. It is a trap straight from hell and the consequences within the spirit and psychic of the single are significant. Let me share some of the consequences.
Consequences of using pornography online:
- This practice places relationship into the category of pleasure. This act is totally self-centered and builds an appetite that is impossible to satisfy. Like all addictions (sins), it begins with just a little step – thinking that one can control it. However, it soon grows and changes the focus of the single to placing too much emphasis on the physical side of a relationship.
- The one who practices this next begins to see the other gender purely as a means to satisfy this appetite. Their eyes become filled with looking for the physical attributes of the opposite gender almost entirely.
The sexual pictures seen make a permanent impression into the mind of the single. It is very difficult to take back control over this practice – possible, but very difficult. As the mind is filled with these images, it has less room for the mind of God and the ability to hear His voice.
- The funds paid to these sites fuel sin upon sin. The singles that pays for this practice funds the purveyors of sex in every form. You have no control over what form of sex will be multiplied when you support this practice. For one, think of all the child sexual offenders you are providing a source for their deviance.
The main challenge is that it warps the mind as to what is really important. If and when God should bring someone into your life for a potential mate, the single is so filled with self-centeredness and pleasure seeking that they either approach him or her wrong or not at all.
- Romans chapter 1 has a lot to say about what God allows for those who follow this form of practice. Romans 8 shares with us how we are to fill our minds (with His Spirit). The two cannot occupy the same space. Colossians 3:2 instruct us to set our mind on things that are of God and not of this earth.
If you are tempted with pornography
If you are tempted with this practice, I urge you to consider the total aspect of what you are doing. I plead with you in His Spirit to walk a higher path that will bring you the joy and peace you desire. The voice prompting you to do this is either one within you that feeds your selfish side and/or directly of Satan. It is robbing you of the peace and clean spirit that you can live by. It will not satisfy you and it keeps God from being able to do His maximum in your life.
Is it easy? No – the walk on this earth is not easy. His way is the best!!
21 comments on “Addicted to Pornography.” Add yours →
Women has pornography addictions as well.
It’s not enough. Those caught up in this sin that so easily entangles need to take DRASTIC measures. Neuroscience experts and ministry workers who specialise in this type of addiction will tell you that it requires at least 2-5 years to re-wire the brain or spiritually speaking, renewing of the mind. In other words, while it may take only 3 months to achieve sobriety, but it takes 2-5 years of rehab, to ‘kick the habit’. And by rehab, i don’t mean checking into a centre, although that is one way, if it’s really serious.
If you’re really desperate and your life is falling apart, there are 2 places to seek help.
1) Go find the nearest Conquer Series near you, and sign up for it.
2) Look for Pure Life Ministries. They have options of a 9-month residential program or a 12-weeks online/phone counseling program called Overcomers-at-home
Get help QUICK ! This is a life and death, heaven or hell matter. If someone says they can just quit by themselves by sheer will power or praying harder or reading their Bible more, i’d really like to hear their testimony. You’ll find a lot of addicts tell you that it’s easier to kick a drug/alcohol habit than a PMO addiction. It ain’t that simple as praying the addiction away. If it is, then why are you still hooked on it despite numerous deliverances and countless hours of prayer and fasting ? Get help NOW !
I’ll also recommend to stay off dating for the time being unless you’re ‘sober’ for a lengthy period.a Simply because your addictions will affect the other person in ways you can’t possibly understand or imagine. Ask any experts and they’ll tell you the same too.
Hello , this is interesting topic cuz i once did this in my past years but it did me no good . I will urge my Christian brothers and sisters to desist from it So to make room for the Lord in their minds, body and soul . Amen
WOW! Great read!! Most churches don’t even do this much to help!!
I just want to encourage anyone struggling in this area, as I was. I’ll try to give my short version…lol!
In the last few years, I’ve discovered a new, awesome way of living in complete FREEDOM!!! YES!!! It’s totally, doable!!! No more shame, guilt, and giving in to satan’s rotten plans for me!! I start everyday with devotions and meaningful prayer. This,,,is huge! It boots satan right outta my cave!!! :) It gives me direct connection to my Redeemer!!! I’ve mostly learnt all this good stuff through Pure Desire’s amazing, life changing program called the 7 Pillars to Freedom. I now lead my own groups! Amazing things happen when some Dudes get together with the HS and get real, accountable, and learn the reasons for porn, and deal deeply with it! Then,,,the mind gets rewired, the way God has it planned!!! Trust me, try it! It’ll be the single best decision in your entire life!! Don’t listen to satan as he tries to change your mind on this fight!! He will try! I see it all the time now! I almost ran from it also, but JC chased me down on a mountain top and told me to stand and fight! Now,,,I’m a conquer and a warrior!!! RAD!!!! Feel free to contact me. Or go to Pure Desire’s website at least, and prepare, for battle!! :)
Thanks for reading, blessings to all!
Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me.” (Matt 16:24)
We need to remind ourselves of this daily!
How do i stop masturbating?
FASTING AND PRAYING will break this horrible demonic addiction!
Firstly I should say that Masturbation is a normal and healthy activity and the last thing anyone should be doing is making other people feel guilty about it. THAT (putting oppression on people) is without any doubt the un-Christian thing to do.
As for pornography, yes obsessive use of it might indicate a need for comfort that a counsellor could help with but the porn industry these days is well managed and occasional viewing is not a problem.
Again anyone who feels the need either to self-flagellate over imagined sins or oppress others should first look to themselves and ask why they feel the need for such self importance.
Thank you I experienced such humiliation shame I left a church whose POastor
Muito bom artigo, parabéns que Deus abençoe….
É muito importante os cristãos solteiros serem esclarecidos sobre tais práticas, muitos estão cedendo às tentações e caindo nas ciladas, quese como um caminho sem volta…
Eu sou divorciada a muitos anos, não são poucos os momentos de solidão, já recebi muitas propostas e fui tentada de todas as formas, mas louvo a Deus que Ele não permitiu, e tem me sustentado até aqui, eu creio que ele me ajudará a seguir me guardando, até chegar na minha vida a possoa que estiver reservada para mim…
Mais uma vez obrigada pelo esclarecimento… Que Deus o abençoe….em nome de Jesus Cristo.🙏
I enjoyed reading the article on pornography. As a chaplain, ministry to those whose relationships have been shattered through pornography is tough. The worse part about pornography is that the partner can never probably measure up to image “models” portrayed in pornography. This sets up the perpetrator to a life of constantly looking for “satisfaction” and the victim in this case the wife as an “object”. It devalues both self and the other and that is a grave sin.
I have only recently become a Christian, and opened my heart to the Lord. If there is anything good about pornography, it is that the habit of using it to subdue my long term feelings of loneliness, depression and anxiety, were a catalyst to coming to the Lord.
I believe it is the best decision I ever made, but now I’m faced with finding community, and feel I would be being false if I did not confess what my past included, but I fear that I’m doing so, nobody would want to be my friend
Thank you for putting message on here! I am 53 years old, and struggled for a little while of being single. I do admit have watch pornography and you are so right! It is not helping at all. So I started praying to the Lord for help and said I can’t to it on my own.
When I read your message. I said! Thank you Lord this is what I needed to see and it opened my mind and it woke me up!
So now I’m praying for the Father unconditional love for His consoling and listen to His Word for His strength and love to bless me with His daughter to be in my life. Thank you once again for this message and I’m glad I’m getting this out of my system. Frank from Ohio.
Wow. Too much insight.
Thank you for sharing.
There is a unclean spirit that enters through the eye gates and ear gates and the name is Lust. The Spirit of Lust will obey if commanded to leave the soul of a Christian. It will exit the body and usually through the mouth. The victim of the Spirit of the Lust must close all days and protect the eyes and ears from further infiltration.
yes you are right
I appreciate all the mentioned true facts.It makes you realize you are also not struggling alone …Sin is real in this fallen World. Only grace can set us free.
However, I still do not agree with normalizing masturbation in our society today . Even though it is part of the struggles I am still battling with , there is hope for all of us on this journey .
Another passage sometimes used as evidence that masturbation is a sin is Matthew 5:27–30. Jesus speaks against having lustful thoughts and then says, “If your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away.” While there is clearly a connection between lustful thoughts and masturbation, it is unlikely that Jesus was alluding to the specific sin of masturbation in this passage. There is a danger that Masturbation can keep some people single like one preacher said. Is it possible to masturbate whilst thinking of God or Holy things ?
I remember checking myself on what triggered me to masturbate.It was watching very sexualized movies. That on its own is an unGodly habbit.More so , looking at how God designed sex as a perfect & precious gift for those who are in marriage; Will it be okae to normalize pleasing myself ? Is that the proper way God designed sex for.Is it not suppossed to be between a man and a women.God instituted marriage in the beginning.So it’s his design and for his purpose .
The truth in the Bible should have a powerful impact on what we do with our bodies. In light of these different principles ,it may hold much water to conclude that masturbation is always sinful. Masturbation is a questionable activity, at best—whether it can glorify God; whether it can be done in absolute confidence that it is right; and whether it can honor God as the owner of our bodies.
Thanks be to the Lord Almighty God for his grace that is sufficient.Sinners like me can be washed and still be sustained with His Word.
Absolutely love this reply. Thank you
how do you control your mind to drift off masturbation when you are alone.?
Thanks 🙏 awesome insight
Thanks 🙏 awesome insight the sin of judgement and shaming others with judgement shunning gossip and shame should be named God gave me grace to forgive as I move on in my worship to others with more respect humility and grace love and care