Advice Archives — Page 3 of 4

Overcoming the Fear of Being Single Forever.

fear

ARE YOU ALLOWING FEAR TO DOMINATE YOUR LIFE?

A child enters into this world without any fears. Before they are around this earth very long something will occur that will allow fear to enter into their life. Too often one grows up and is filled with a variety of fears.

What is fear?

What is fear? I have developed a definition that applies to most fears that adults experience.

‘Fear is the emotion developed when we ‘feel’ we are about to lose something we value.’

Some things that can be valued are our lives, our possessions, our positions, and our relationships. The greater we hold onto these things (or value them) the greater our fear can become.

HOWEVER, it is not really the loss of ‘things’ or ‘positions’ that is the force behind our fear. Allow me to develop this thought as you consider how this applies to your life.

Can Someone Change Their Behavior, In Order To Make a Relationship Work?

can someone change? In today’s advice column, Dr. Jim advises on whether to stay in a relationship with someone who needs to change in order for the relationship to work.

WHEN IS EXPECTING A PERSON TO CHANGE NOT GOOD?

People can change for the positive

A friend of mine (who is a counsellor) and I were having a conversation recently. He stated that he has never seen a modification in a person unless there was a significant crisis that provided the motivation to change. While I concurred with the fact that this is usually the way it happens, I shared that I was also pleased that people can change for the positive if and when their world of reference is changed. My world expanded when a mentor opened my thinking that I could do more than what I had experienced in the past.

Wait on God for a Spouse?… or Actively Date?

Wait on God for a spouse? Dr. Jim advises on whether Christians should pursue finding a spouse, or simply wait on God to provide a husband or wife.

Dear Jim: SHOULD I NOT DATE AND SIT BACK AND WAIT FOR GOD TO BRING MY MATE TO ME?

There are some Christian leaders that counsel others to wait on God to bring their mate to them. Their counsel is to not date and just wait on God. I do not agree with this approach as a general principal.

Dating With Children After Divorce: Advice for single parents

Dating with Children Dr. Jim shares his dating advice for those who are divorced with children.

Dear Jim: DO YOU HAVE ANY DATING ADVICE FOR THOSE WHO HAVE CHILDREN?

Children’s emotions also go through emotional turbulence during and after a divorce. When the parent(s) begin to date, this can significantly cause a lot of stress and pain in the family. I am the child of a divorce as well as have counselled many with children. Here are some considerations as relates to the children of a divorce:

Living Together Before Marriage: Relationship Advice

Should this happy couple live together before marriage?
Pastor Jim provides advice on the topic of cohabitation before marriage, providing both biblical and non-biblical reasoning.

Dear Jim: WHAT IS WRONG WITH LIVING TOGETHER BEFORE WE GET MARRIED?

Demos have become a way of life in most parts of the world. We would not buy a car before we drove it and ‘checked it out’ – nor a television and even a piece of clothing. So many singles come from painful past experiences and they want ‘to be sure’ that they do not experience this again. The logic often develops that if this is true for other less important things, then a ‘test’ drive before marriage would certainly be in order.

Does God Have Someone for Me?

someone for me

Pastor Jim answers the question “Does God have someone for me?”

I often like to respond to a question with a question. In this case, if we were sitting down across from each other, I would say, “Why do you ask?“. Your answer would give me insight into a vast domain of possibilities.

She/He Said “Let’s Just Be Friends” – Some Helpful Advice.

Let's Just Be Friends

Dr. Jim tries to help you solve the “just want to be friends” dating situation.

» Dear Jim: When they say, ‘let’s just be friends’, is it time to move on?

Ahhhhh dating dynamics. What does she/he mean when they say “let’s just be friends“? It is always open to interpretation, but this one phrase likely comes up more than any other. Should the statement be taken at face value, or is there a hidden meaning? It really does depend upon many variables. Allow me to share some of them with you.

Should I Date Someone Who Has Been Divorced?

Date someone who is divorced?
Dr. Jim responds to the question “Should I date someone who has been divorced?”

Still Single in your 30s? Don’t Give Up Hope!

give up
Are you, maybe, in your thirties and still haven’t found the life partner God has for you? Have you lost hope in finding your match for life?

A Boundless reader writes:

“I’ve put a time limit on when I will stop looking for a suitable mate, but is this the wrong idea when the Bible says that there is a season for everything?”

Long Distance Dating: Who Should Relocate?

Dr. Jim provides advice surrounding the decision to relocate to be closer to someone you met online.