Pastor Jim answers the question “Does God have someone for me?”
I often like to respond to a question with a question. In this case, if we were sitting down across from each other, I would say, “Why do you ask?“. Your answer would give me insight into a vast domain of possibilities.
Not all of us will or should marry
God does NOT provide an answer to this question directly to you or to me. But He does share some insights that we can draw on. The Bible comments on the fact that not all of us will or should marry.
After my divorce, I was single for almost 8 years. This question came to mind OFTEN during this time. For me, God kept revealing things in me that He wanted me to work on. I did learn a lot – perhaps slowly at times. Allow me to share some thoughts that came out of my experience.
Intimacy can be enjoyed through valued friendships
He does not want you to be alone. God wants the joy of relating to you personally, as well as have you enjoy the relationship of His children. Take action and get with His children! What we are often seeking is intimacy – and we think that having a mate will bring this. Intimacy is NOT confined to marriage and we all can enjoy this through valued friendships. God designed sex for inside marriage – but intimacy is something that we can all experience.
Hope is a gift
Hope is a gift God wants to give to you. Being part of ChristianCafe.com is taking a tangible step to act out your “hope”.
Put focus on becoming all you can become
False expectations often get us into trouble and lead to feeling depressed. Rather than putting the emphasis on “finding someone”, put the focus on becoming all that you can become. One who genuinely accepts himself/herself and strives to improve becomes VERY attractive to others.
Where can you serve others?
Ask God to reveal where you can serve others and grow. This will bring you the VALUE that we all seek – and through this value will grow an inner spring.
Build confidence in yourself
Instead of seeking “love” in the opposite gender, develop open and meaningful relationships with someone of the same gender. I am talking about building buddies. When I hear someone say ‘I find it easier to relate to the opposite sex!” – I hear a danger signal going off!!! Learn what accountability AND vulnerability can bring into your life – and see the changes that take place (sometimes painfully). A genuine confidence in yourself that comes about through these changes will develop your attractiveness.
Patience is the jewel of attributes
As in many areas of my life, I did not understand why someone was not coming into my life to become a partner. I dated often – but a long term relationship was not there. Cannot say that I came to a point where I did not “need” to marry, but it became less important. I was making friends, relating to others who were hurting and helping them. I did keep myself in contact with other Christian singles – and a partner came from one of these groups. Pam and I will soon celebrate our first wedding anniversary.
Patience is perhaps the most challenging word for us to accept. But I have found it to be the jewel of attributes through which God delivers wonderful things for our lives.
Allow God to deliver the deepest desires of your heart. Ask Him! Remember what Solomon prayed for – “that I may have WISDOM”. God heard this prayer and was pleased. Because of the desire for deeper character, God granted him tangible things beyond his wildest dreams. Hmmmm…wonder if we should do that?
In His love,
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity.[a] I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”
9 Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: 10 If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. 11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? 12 Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.