First Date Tips: Managing Expectations and Staying Safe

First Date Tips

DEAR JIM: ARE THERE GENERAL GUIDELINES FOR SCREENING PEOPLE THAT PERHAPS I CAN USE IN THE FUTURE TO AVOID THE BAD EXPERIENCE I HAD?

You are one of many who have written to me with a similar question. Yes, I do believe that some guidelines SHOULD be created (called boundaries) as you approach any relationship – especially over the Internet.

Christian, Lonely and Single?

Christian? Single? Lonely?Pastor Jim outlines how to overcome being lonely as a single Christian.


Are you lonesome tonight? I can hear Elvis Presley singing this song as he expressed how much he was missing his love. In my mind I can see thousands of single adults howling along with Elvis as they express the loneliness in their lives. Coyotes would have to take a second seat to this choir’s rendition.

Loneliness is a plague for many single adults. It visits them at strange times and in strange locations. They may be in a room filled with people and yet the ache of loneliness hits them like a ton of bricks. Perhaps it is at night when they are finished with the day’s activities and have nothing to focus on but their thoughts. Loneliness makes one feel depressed and can become an unhealthy force if not addressed.

Online Dating is Like Shopping?

shopping online datingPastor Jim discusses the “shopping” mentality of dating – and online dating. Are you doing this?


The shopping experience

Most of those who read my articles are in North America or a very modern culture. Life has become very easy for so many of us with so many choices at our fingertips.

A few years ago some friends from Switzerland came to visit me in California. We had never met before and decided to have dinner at our first meeting. The greetings were super as we enjoyed finally getting to meet each other in person. The waiter came to take the order and I received an education!

How to Start Dating Again: Tips for Christian Women

Start Dating AgainDr. Jim provides some pointers on how to start dating again – after a break up. This post is written for women, but can be reversed to apply for men.


DEAR JIM: HOW DO I START DATING AGAIN?

Times have changed, but values have not! I am afraid that you will find more men with less good manners and more into themselves.

Overcoming the Fear of Being Single Forever.

fear

ARE YOU ALLOWING FEAR TO DOMINATE YOUR LIFE?

A child enters into this world without any fears. Before they are around this earth very long something will occur that will allow fear to enter into their life. Too often one grows up and is filled with a variety of fears.

What is fear?

What is fear? I have developed a definition that applies to most fears that adults experience.

‘Fear is the emotion developed when we ‘feel’ we are about to lose something we value.’

Some things that can be valued are our lives, our possessions, our positions, and our relationships. The greater we hold onto these things (or value them) the greater our fear can become.

HOWEVER, it is not really the loss of ‘things’ or ‘positions’ that is the force behind our fear. Allow me to develop this thought as you consider how this applies to your life.

Can Someone Change Their Behavior, In Order To Make a Relationship Work?

can someone change?In today’s advice column, Dr. Jim advises on whether to stay in a relationship with someone who needs to change in order for the relationship to work.


WHEN IS EXPECTING A PERSON TO CHANGE NOT GOOD?

People can change for the positive

A friend of mine (who is a counsellor) and I were having a conversation recently. He stated that he has never seen a modification in a person unless there was a significant crisis that provided the motivation to change. While I concurred with the fact that this is usually the way it happens, I shared that I was also pleased that people can change for the positive if and when their world of reference is changed. My world expanded when a mentor opened my thinking that I could do more than what I had experienced in the past.