The Gift of (Temporary) Singleness: Embrace It

Embracing the Gift of Singleness

In today’s singles advice, Dr. Jim Rives talks about embracing the gift of singleness after a broken relationship – viewing it as a growing phase of your journey.

Please let us know your thoughts on this, in the comments below. Thanks!

From weeds to…

There is a field near where I live that is covered with weeds and some plants that came from old cotton seeds. It is not much to look at and is not attractive or of much use. However, I recall only a year or so ago when this field was filled with rows of beautiful Pima cotton. It was a picture of God’s masterful design and commanded everyone’s attention because of the healthy, lush green plants standing at the same height and fullness.

As I drive by this field now I see the correlation to days of past glory to days of abandonment and destruction. Is all the glory in the past? Will there ever be a beautiful crop again?

Sitting out… and returning to glory

Yes! The field is fed by irrigation and the farmer has been letting it overgrow in weeds so that it can “sit out” a season or two and replenish its nutrients. In the masterful hands of the farmer it will again return to glory, and because of restored nutrients, it has the chance of achieving even greater results.

We are under the care of a Master farmer

Many singles find themselves overgrown in weeds, decay, and destruction in their lives. They can quickly recall days of glory and better times. That seems so long ago and so far out of reach. The desire is still there but it appears that the ingredients are no longer present. If you look through your own eyes you likely will not see what is really happening.

Previous blog post about related to singleness: Let Go Of The Past.

You and I are under the care of the Master farmer. I believe that there are times when He initiates our “sitting out” for a season or so. At other times events in life throw us into periods of drought and despair. It is not fun and cultivates deep agonies.

View these times as times for new nutrients…

I invite you to see these times, no matter how long, as times for new nutrients and principles to come into our lives that will enable us to enjoy periods of real joy and fulfillment – longer than we would have been able to experience had the sitting out not taken place.

Look to the Farmer…

Not every field is returned to glory in the case of farming. I do believe that every Christian can return to days of glory when we accept our condition, look to the farmer to fill us with the right nutrients, plant the right seeds, and then turn on the water. Do I have any examples of this? How about in the lives of single adults? Let me share a few that quickly come to mind: Joseph, Daniel, David, Ruth are a few that I can recall. Can you think of others?

An example of bursting joy after being single again

Let me add one more. Jim Rives. I went through 8 years of “sitting out” and drought after my first marriage. It was hell, and much of it continued even after I remarried. However, the principles and seeds planted during those days are now bursting forth with new life and joy.

I cannot tell you how long the period of sitting out will be, nor what the challenges will be during these times of singleness. I can tell you that God knows every heartache and pain you are experiencing.

James 1:2-4 is a verse that shares this thought:

“Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.”

Embrace the gift of singleness

The best recommendation that I can give to you is to embrace your “sitting out” and see it as a gift to contribute toward your future. Your land will return to fullness and your days will be filled with blessing – if you use the time to allow God’s principles to be the nutrients for the days ahead.

Pastor Jim

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