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Helping others or being taken?

being taken
Being a Christian means things like giving and walking the extra mile for others. But does it mean that single Christians shouldn’t be careful about whom and how, and even if they should help others? Dr. Jim gives guidance for those searching for the “Christian” thing to do.

Dear Jim: Where is the line between helping others and being taken by others?

Most Christian single adults are very caring and giving individuals. They try to live their lives the best they can according to the Bible and the leading of His Spirit. At the same time they are also dealing with the reality of the world around them and the effect the choices of others has and continues to have upon them. This combination too often generates some events that are not always healthy ones.

What is love when seeking a soulmate?

What is Love

What is love really like when you are seeking a soulmate? Do Christian singles know where their focus should be and what to look for in a person? What makes a great relationship or a disastrous one? Below are some great points to consider when searching for love online.

Relationship Questions: How to keep your expectations in check.

Relationship questions

Many Christian singles use the Internet to search for a soul mate. They can find themselves torn when their expectations aren’t met by the one they thought was going to be ‘The One’. Dr. Jim responds to some relationship questions about online dating, and things to avoid.

Am I a Christian?

Am I Christian
Sometimes Christians are not sure if they are following God and the question pops up: Am I a real Christian? Does just because I’m a good person make me automatically a Christian? Will my life be easy if I follow Christ? Here is some great guidance for Christian singles who want to actively follow Jesus in their daily lives.

Dear Jim: Am I really a Christian?

It’s easy to fall into the assumption when one writes for a Christian dating site that all reading the articles are Christians. God has provided an awesome gift available to all – but not all have received it. Allow me to share some thoughts in how I believe this is the ultimate experience.

First Date Tips – Meeting a date for the first time.

First Date - Meeting for the first time

You’ve met someone special on a Christian dating site, you’ve sent messages, spent hours on phone calls and now it’s time for the first date. What should you do and what to expect from those dates? Some great tips from Dr. Jim to make sure that your first date is successful.

Dear Jim: Do you have any tips for singles who met on the Internet and are planing a first date?

Have you head the expression ‘things always look good on paper’? There is an element of this that is true for those who meet others on dating sites and want to begin a relationship.

Although I do hear of some singles that flatly out lie on their profiles, I believe that most profiles are completed in honesty. Let me ask you a question? When you completed your profile, did you finish the task wondering whether or not you had really done a complete and good job? If you are like most, you wrestled with whether or not what you had put done was exactly what you wished to project.

Relationship advice – Did I hear God saying yes to my relationship?

relationship advice

Are we in tune with God? Are we really paying attention when He is telling us to stay in the relationship we are in, or when He tells us we should break up (even if we think the relationship has potential)? Learn with this relationship advice a few tips on how to understand the different ways God speaks to us and if God always answers our prayers.

Dear Jim: Do you think you have to have a definite “yes” or “no” from God on relationships?

Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 10:31 ‘Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.’ This is certainly applicable to relationships.

While this statement is certainly true, I find some singles discern this to mean that God will send a strong feeling or some voice from Heaven, etc. to signal when the ‘right one’ arrives. My concern is that the right one may have come and the single was ‘looking’ when they should have been ‘listening’.

Still single: Why aren’t you dating yet?

still single? Why aren't you dating yet?

With the New Year, we see Christian singles seeking new relationships and their worries about running out of time to find that special someone. Dr. Jim explains that everything is in God’s hand and we should gear down and look at what is the best approach to seeking our future spouse.

Dear Jim: What is your hurry?

Time is an element of this world. The first ‘click’ of the clock was set into motion by God, and He will be the one to step in and stop the pendulum from swinging. Time totally controls our world, but time is not present in Heaven!

The Bible shares with us that, among other attributes, God is Omniscient (all knowing). Since He is not controlled by time, He knows everything at once. For us, we have to describe this as past, present, and future. God does not have a past, present and future – He IS, or as He stated it ‘I AM’.

Does God have a soul mate for me or do I have to find “the one” myself?

Does God have a soul mate for me or do I have to look for one myself?

Often Christian singles are in doubt while searching for a soul mate, and a question comes up: has God selected a soul mate for me or is there more than one? And, will it be up to me to pick the right person? Dr. Jim shows us what we should understand about God’s desires for our lives.

Dear Jim: Does God have a soulmate for me, or is there more than one and it is up to me to find?

This question has been around a long time. Christian singles develop a variety of beliefs regarding this – thinking that they have THE interpretation from God/Bible. One thing is clear, the Bible does not directly answer this question for us. I suggest that an answer has to take into consideration the attributes of God as well as how He created us. Let me share some thoughts that contribute toward an answer.

Is your relationship in God’s will?

Relationship in God's will

What is God’s will for your relationship? Dr. Jim shows why you shouldn’t rush into a relationship while on an online dating service. God will reveal His will over time; you just need to listen to Him.

Dear Jim: How can I be sure that the relationship I have started is one that is in God’s will?

As I relate to Christian singles, I often receive an email that includes something about God’s will in it. Perhaps the person says, “We met last week/month on a Christian dating site and it has become evident to each of us that our relationship is God’s will.” Or it will surface in a question “What’s is God’s will that I do about?”

I certainly believe in God’s will and know that Christ says that we should be busy doing the will of His/our Father. However the other words that follow in the emails often reflect a ‘rushing’ toward a desired victory.

Other emails are received with a heartbreaking story sharing how they just knew the relationship was God’s will, but the marriage, sex, or rejection is tearing them apart and they are very confused.