Relationship advice – Did I hear God saying yes to my relationship?

relationship advice

Are we in tune with God? Are we really paying attention when He is telling us to stay in the relationship we are in, or when He tells us we should break up (even if we think the relationship has potential)? Learn with this relationship advice a few tips on how to understand the different ways God speaks to us and if God always answers our prayers.


Dear Jim: Do you think you have to have a definite “yes” or “no” from God on relationships?

Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 10:31 ‘Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.’ This is certainly applicable to relationships.

While this statement is certainly true, I find some singles discern this to mean that God will send a strong feeling or some voice from Heaven, etc. to signal when the ‘right one’ arrives. My concern is that the right one may have come and the single was ‘looking’ when they should have been ‘listening’.

One of the awesome features of our relationship with God is the fact that He speaks with us. His voice is not always a direct one and this is where I believe some may miss His guidance. In Numbers 22 the Bible advice us that God actually opened the mouth of a donkey (okay – they called it an ass) to speak to Balaam.

How does God speak to us?

There are many ways but here are a few that He often uses:

  • The Bible: The Word is a ‘living Word‘ and God speaks directly to us through it.
  • His Spirit: When Christ left this earth, He told the disciples that the Holy Spirit would guide them into all truth. (John 16:13). His Spirit is in every believer today and continues to guide us – if we allow Him.
  • Other Believers: Proverbs shares that where there is no wise guidance, the people fall. However, there is wisdom in the multitude of counsellors. We NEED each other. This is why you find me sharing over and over again to build strong support/accountability groups of the same gender.
  • Events: Sometimes events in our lives leave little doubt that God is trying to tell us something. Candidly, I find this most often when He closes a door. It is frustrating to find door after door being closed, but He is using this to ‘guide’ us toward something that will glorify Him and bring fulfillment and peace to us.
  • His Messenger: My life has been touched over and over again through the anointing of His Spirit in the message of a Pastor or great Biblical teacher.
  • Satan: Yes, I believe that there are times that if we are being led by His Spirit, we clearly see Satan’s hand at play and know that it is not the action or activity for us.

Wise choices are the basis for successful living. I believe it wise that we seek confirmation when we believe God is speaking to us. There are times when this is not applicable, but most often it is. For example, you may have some input from some well meaning Christians, but you know that it is clearly against a Biblical principle. God NEVER contradicts Himself and is always in keeping with His word.

What are you doing in Heaven?

I like an old illustration that points out how God speaks. The story goes that there was a dam that had broken upstream for a town. There was a little time until the waters would reach the town and the police were speeding around town telling of the impending danger. One man told the police that he was not going to leave because God would take care of him. The waters began to rise and the police came by again in a boat to take him to safety. Again he refused stating that God would save him. The waters rose to the roof and the man was hanging onto the chimney. The police helicopter came by and lowered a rope. The man refused again saying that God would save him. The man drowned!

When he got into Heaven, he rushed over to God and said ‘Father, what happened? I counted on you and told others you would save me!’ God looked at the man with a puzzled look and said while shaking His head – ‘I don’t know? I sent the police by, then a boat and finally a helicopter to save you. What are you doing in Heaven??

Of course this is just a story – but I think that it points out that we need to be ‘open’ to the many ways that God may speak to us. He never contradicts His Word.

Finally, remember that God always answers our prayers. The answers are ‘yes’, or ‘no’ or ‘nothing (meaning wait)’. The most challenging one for us is ‘wait’!! The FATHER knows best!

Dr. Jim

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14 comments on “Relationship advice – Did I hear God saying yes to my relationship?Add yours →

  1. I’m really excited to tell u I think I found my 2 nd chance @ luv & we met thru ChristianCafe.com we have been together almost 5 months now & setting up a time in our busy life to have our first date on march 26-15 this will be the fist time we see each other I can’t wait. Thank u ChristianCafe.com & thank u heavenly father luv always your daughter stacie

    1. Hi there Stacie,

      Wonderful news. God is amazing! We hope that everything goes well for you two. Please keep us posted! Have a great day!

  2. I am having a hard time. With my ex boyfriend. He is saying he won’t take me back for a last and finally chance I want to make it up to him and I want him back so god can u please help me

  3. Am facing a deep situation where i love this girl i know frm high school however we were jus best friends until she came to visit me one day n we were dancing n clowning around n taking silly pics, after that day i cudnt stop thinking abt that n all i knw everyone kept telling me y dnt i marry that girl even tho i wasnt seeing her in that light at first, to cut it short we started dating/courting because of these signs i saw as confirmation bt i found out that her lastname n my grandmothers lastname is the same and after i approached her dad that am interested in his daughter he never let it go, he started digging doing background check till we found out that we were far distant cousins, however we almost called it quits until i went out with her n her friends then the next day he came into her room and attacked her saying y did she go out with me and that she is nt welcomed to his house anymore n if we continue this he will pray that we get crippled(he’s a pastor) n that he will pray a force field over the house that she cant enter, its been a hard time n s its a little frustrating cause her mom n even her brother is against me, shes uncomfortable visiting them nw, she even went to his church n he preached against her using the tamara n her brother story frm the bible, am trying my best nt to let go off her, i jus want the will of God to be done, its stressing caz these pple were kind to me before we found out this….nt that its me alone they fighting bt their own daughter as well saying they will pray we die etc….what puzzles me is that i think i was walking in God’s will with this person all this time n then i bucked up on this, bt am jus trusting bt am puzzled what exactly to do nw bt am right her by her side….i was gonna cut her off once bt a voice said y give up on this girl if she is willing to stand against her parents jus for u….need some advice bt i prayed abt it tho n lately alot of girls popping up bt i knw thats jus the enemy trying to take advantage of the confusion…

    1. I think sometimes God wants us to wait or to learn some lessons and you need to pray to God to give you the wisdom to understand what you should do, and it must feel right in your gut. You know the feeling, a peaceful happy you are doing the right thing feeling. If you feel love for each other, I think the ones against God are the ones with the anger issues and hate towards you. Pray for them, they trying to protect your girlfriend and they may be doing it out of tough love. Pray they can see the love you two have for each other and remember to be nice to your enemies. kill them with kindness, be mature and try to explain how much you love and respect their daughter. I pray that justice is done and that you can be happy in your relationship. Remember your gut feeling, your conscience, the Holy spirt tells you a lot through those uncomfortable feelings. If you are at peace, you are going in the right direction. God bless you.

  4. I have been in an 8 year long relationship, we got engaged this summer and somehow we have been fighting about nothing and everything, and we separated a few weeks ago, he ask me to leave…I feel devastated. I am at my parents in a different city, in my 30s and jobless… we talk sometimes and he wants me back one day but he is not sure the next, the thing is I have lost all the trust I had in him. I still love him and before he asked me to leave, for no reason but he was stressed out with the weeding and our future together, I was praying for the fighting to stop. I am still praying that he can become the caring and loving human he sometimes can be. I pray he respects and loves me again. I fear is God’s way of telling me to stop the relationship. I feel really old to start anything new, and build my new life from scratch, I fear I am never going to have children and find love again and I feel humiliated now I have to tell everyone that there is not going to be a weeding anymore… I feel I didn’t listen to God before and this is my punishment…I pray for love to win and I pray that God will forgive me for being so stubborn, I pray that He guides me into the place he wants me to be and the person He wants me to be with… and although I am scared after reading this article I kind of feel better. God bless you all that are suffering from a break up like me. This pain is the worst but I am sure it will lead us to a joy we have never experience before. We need to keep praying and have faith in our Father.

  5. sorry to bother. I have a crucial question I need an answer for: will God say no to my request from the first time I query it or after a long wait he will say no? isn’t our Lord straight forward and outright? ie if it is no then he make it clear from the first instance and not after a long wait.
    please clarify this matter at the earliest.
    I am so confused.
    thanks a lot. Reem

  6. hi,

    sorry to bother.

    please pray a lot for these three persons Leo Sue and Ziv.

    Pray for Ziv in Particular as he is Jewish and Became atheist.

    these three are atheists. may the Lord touch their hearts and reveal himself to them so they come to him.

    please leave their names on the altar.

    with thanks and appreciation

    R. G. Sydney

  7. Hi. I need your help. My girlfriend recently broke up with me 3 months into our relationship. Before we dated I prayed to God that if she was the one she must say yes and if not she must say no. She agreed and I continously thanked God for her. We would go to church together pray together. But now its been 9 days since she broke up with me citing my insecurities. I am in pain. I have been praying daily for her return. U need help in prayer. Is it possible God will give me something as i prayed and then take it away?

  8. We have been dating almost 2yrs now. We have been in a long distance relationship. We have been planning on how we shall meet and get married soon as possible. But since a month ago. He told me He had a voice telling him am not the one. He is so much traumatized as I am coz we love loved each other so much. I have been through a lot together. What should we do in order for us to part ways?

  9. been relationship 3yrs we had our hardships god do answer prayer im in love with this guy i never loved no one like him im lost confuse we distance ourselves at times but the distance never been 4 to five days im prayer on behalf of my realationships becus i just dont love him im in love with him he started to lie to me now im just praying for the lord to to fix this becus i want him to be my husband one

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