Often Christian singles are in doubt while searching for a soul mate, and a question comes up: has God selected a soul mate for me or is there more than one? And, will it be up to me to pick the right person? Dr. Jim shows us what we should understand about God’s desires for our lives.
Dear Jim: Does God have a soulmate for me, or is there more than one and it is up to me to find?
This question has been around a long time. Christian singles develop a variety of beliefs regarding this – thinking that they have THE interpretation from God/Bible. One thing is clear, the Bible does not directly answer this question for us. I suggest that an answer has to take into consideration the attributes of God as well as how He created us. Let me share some thoughts that contribute toward an answer.
God knows everything, even our future spouse, but…
God knows everything – past, present and future. He is not limited by TIME as we humans are. Because He does know the future, He certainly knows who our future spouse will be. This does not mean that He has pre-destined them, just He already knows who they will be.
I know of no scripture that states that God directly selects our mate for us. He is interested in everything in our lives, but there is so much in life that is up to us to do.
However, He is Sovereign and at times He chooses to be directly involved in our lives, including guiding us to a mate. In most cases, I do not believe that God has chosen a ‘soul mate’ for each of us. God is more interested in the principles used in our lives that honor Him and bring us closer to Him. The ‘action’ on these principles is our responsibility. Could be a match made in heaven?
Each party coming into a marriage enters with their imperfections. I believe it is another area in our lives where God is honored with the commitment to marriage, and the faithfulness to the marriage. God states over and over in the scripture that He loves marriage and desires to be a partner in it.
Is a soul mate pre-destined by God?
With the above considerations, allow me to share how I think it really is at work with God. God is our Father and has provided the way to be in ‘constant’ contact with Him through the Holy Spirit. Paul states in Romans 12:12 and Colossians 4:2 that we are to be constantly in prayer. This means ‘constantly’ in touch with His Spirit so that He can guide us. Thus, I suggest that He does not have a SOUL MATE for us (in advance) but He desires to guide us to one that will honor Him as well as you. I am not one who believes that this is pre-destination, just fore knowledge.
What if the spouse dies, or there is a divorce? The scripture clearly states that God wants widows who are young to marry again (1 Titus 5:14). I further believe that if one is Biblically divorced they can remarry with God’s blessings. (Unfaithfulness of a spouse is one option for divorce. If that one decides to divorce AND becomes remarried, then I believe the other party is released to CONSIDER remarriage, WHEN God heals them and releases them to do so.)
If they are released to be remarried, then obviously there is more than one person in their lives for them.
Rejoice on the Lord and let Him provide what you do not.
Finally, do not get hung up on whether or not God has soul mate predestined for you. Whether He does or not, He desires to lead you every moment of every day toward good and healthy decisions – ones that honor Him and bless you. Focus on Him and rejoice in what you do have and let Him provide what you do not.