Even before we look for that special someone on a Christian dating site, let’s learn how we should love – and see love. It’s the best way to have a healthy relationship.
What things should I be looking for in a Christian relationship?
Our natural side often directs us to look for the wrong things when seeking a new relationship. Some of the forces at play are ‘normal’ drives, but they too often take on more significance than they should, for example, the physical side. I don’t think that I need to direct any comments toward personal preferences that you may have, and these have their place. However, I would invite you to consider that things that are SO important in dating become relatively insignificant after marriage.
Important points to look at when in a relationship
My suggestion is that you should place a high priority on character traits. Which traits? I am so glad you asked, for I believe that we have an excellent reference for these. I invite you to read Galatians 5:22-23 to find the following list:
- Love (which I will speak more to in the following paragraph)
- Longsuffering (patience)
- Meekness (I like the definition of a horse stallion, under control)
- Temperance (self control)
That is quite a list to seek in a biblical relationship, but I believe that these character traits make a major contribution to a healthy one.
Definition of Real Love
The other reference that I invite you to is in the Love Chapter – 1 Corinthians 13. Here is a list defining love:
- Suffers long – patient and slow to anger, endurance
- Does not envy
- Vaunteth not itself – not boasting, not contempt or inconsiderate of others
- Not puffed up – vanity or pride
- Does not behave itself unseemly – not disgraceful in manner or approach
- Seeks not its own – not selfish or self-centered, not putting themselves above others
- Is not provoked – not easily angered but considerate of the needs of others
- Does not take account of evil – is not malicious and constructs the best motives out of the actions of others
- Does not rejoice in unrighteousness – is not pleased with the vices of others
- Rejoices with the truth – pleased with the goodness of others
- Bears all things – is bent to allow the faults of loved ones and not broadcast them to others
- Believes all things – believes the best in others unless proven otherwise
- Hopes all things – positive outlook and believes that God can work out the best
- Endures all things – endures through trials (like Job) and perseveres
- Love never fails – adapts to all circumstances and has an eternal quality
God will use how you love yourself and others to bring someone with similar traits
Wow! That is a LOT to live up to. Only one has achieved that – Christ. However, these traits are very important for ALL Christian relationships, and certainly apply to a future mate. Is your relationship in God’s will?
Practice these traits in your own life so that God can use them to bring one of similar traits into your life. May God guide you as you relate to others.