Account assistance

We receive a lot of email on and we make every attempt to answer your question or concern within 24-72 hours. Some of the email we receive asks us questions we have already answered on the Cafe; this slows our response time if you ask the same question again. Before writing to us, please read the following to see if your concern is already addressed. It will only take a few minutes of your time, which is quicker than waiting for a response from us.

Questions we have answered for you

  1. Why does no one write to me? - Joining and then waiting for someone to find you is a little like going to a party and being a wallflower (standing by the wall) - someone who is active and chats with others is going to make many more connections. Be active on and write to new members each day. Check out our tips page on using the site to meet others.
  2. How do I find members who interest me? - Check out our help search page.
  3. I wrote to a member and did not receive a reply. Why? Perhaps the member has chosen not to respond. We encourage all members to at least acknowledge receipt of mail received. If a member does not reply to you, don't get too discouraged. There are many others on the site so continue writing to those who interest you. You only need one special connection, right?
    Is it possible the member's account has expired? Check out our gift membership idea to help you better connect.
  4. Can you pass on my message to another member? Sorry, we do not pass on messages to members. Please consider a gift membership for them if they have run out of time, so they so they can access the site again to read mail you sent them.
  5. Billing questions - see your Billing, account cancellation, etc. page
  6. Abuse - if you have complaints about offensive profiles or user abuse please see our conduct policy page.
  7. Credit for referring a friend - if you referred a friend to and have not yet received credit, please ensure s/he has used their account (sent mail, posted photos, etc.) and has validated his/her email address in our system. If you still have not received credit please use our contacts form.

Contacting us

If your question has not been addressed by the above, please use our contacts form.