Polly, Author at Christian Blog

Cohabitate – What is wrong with living together.

cohabitate

Read about cohabitate / living together before marriage, and what it does to a couple who want a long term relationship. Check out the research results below showing that couples who cohabitate before marriage are worse off if they live together after marriage. What does God want from us?

Cohabitate, or living together before marriage.

Cohabitating is more popular than ever. The majority of all marriages are now preceded by cohabitation: 60-75% of first marriages and 80-85% of remarriages (U.S. Bureau of the Census, 2000). Is this a good trend? Are the objectives for doing so being met?

Dr. David Olson formed Life Innovation Inc. in 1980. The objective was to develop exercises allowing a couple to explore their strengths and growth areas. The result was an inventory that has been taken by over 1,000,000 couples. This organization recently released a report on cohabitation to their over 50,000 certified counsellors.

Here are some excerpts from this report:

Dating Games – dangerous attitudes at play.

Dating Games

When Christian singles play dating games (“head games”) with a potential mate, the harmful results can destroy potential relationships. Dr. Jim gives suggestions on how to avoid the trap of dating game players.

Dear Jim: I’m receiving a lot of emails from those who are playing games. What do you suggest?

Games are something that comes along with dating. It should NOT happen, but it is very common. Some of the ‘games’ are not intentional, but too many are.

What do I suggest?

First, it is important that you not be using the Internet for dating without an accountability group. I suggest that you find 1 or more Christians of your own gender to form a support/accountability group. They can be very helpful in keeping perspective as you go through this experience.

Dating Sites that work. ChristianCafe.com Marriage Successes.

Christian singles constantly ask themselves if it’s worth creating a profile on a dating site, or which ones work the best. ChristianCafe.com is proof that dating online works, and we present this blog post with photos of some of our successful couples who met through our dating services over the years.

Dating Sites That Work.

We’ve displayed some great photos that our former members sent us (most from their wedding day) so others Christian singles like yourself can know that using a dating site like ChristianCafe.com can make your dream of finding the love of your life come true. We’re encouraging Christian singles who are still in doubt about using a dating service online by showing them that it can be as easy as creating a dating profile.

Dating Site Reviews features ChristianCafe.com

Before joining a Christian dating website, many Christian singles check around the ‘Net for dating sites reviews. From there, they can quickly read about various dating sites and which ones are worth their time (and money). Dating review sites are a great way for singles to find out the good, the bad, and sometimes the ugly, about dating and relationship sites online.

ChristianCafe.com was recently featured in one such review site and we thought our readers would like it check it out at DatingAdvice.com

Stages of grief. Moving on after a bad relationship.

stages of grief

Nothing can make you feel better and you feel stuck in a bad situation. How you should deal with grief and how to recognize the stages of grief. Making sure you are ready to move on after a bad relationship or experience.

Dear Jim: How do I know that I am ready to move on with life and make healthier choices (or why do I feel stuck)?

There is a process ( Stages of grief ) that we ALL must go through as we move from one point in life to another. It has to occur every time we experience a change/loss in our life. It does not matter whether it is losing our favorite toy, our job or a relationship. After my divorce, I had no idea what I was “going through” – just that I was loss in some sort of process. It was not until I learned the Stages of grief or the Steps in Loss (Grieving) that I was able to see/feel what was happening. The following chart helped me to find where I was in my process and gave me hope that I could move through it. Let me show the chart and then give a brief explanation as I understand the steps:

Hell – Do Christians go to Hell?

Hell and Christians

Do Christians go to Hell? Even after accepting Jesus, many Christians ask such questions. Sometimes we encounter “supposed” Christians, but their actions are hardly those of real followers of Christ. By accepting Jesus as their Savior, are these people going to heaven, even if their actions shows the opposite of how a Christian should behave?

Dear Jim: What actions would cause a Christian to go to Hell?

Singles write to me from time to time and share some very terrible events in their lives. The negative impact that someone has had on his or her life is so devastating. Some acts that are done to others are unspeakable. I want to be very sensitive to those who are the recipients of abuse and even attempts of murder. Let me share some thoughts that address two major areas that result from these sinful actions:

ChristianCafe.com’s New Look – works on all devices

Christian singles Cafe New Look

ChristianCafe.com New Look

ChristianCafe.com is not just proud of celebrating 17 years of servicing the online Christian singles community, but also proud to present a brand new look. We’ve just launched a dramatic new makeover of our entire dating site. Best of all, it works well on all devices, from the smallest mobile to the largest desktop screen. Check it: ChristianCafe.com :-)

This new look has made ChristianCafe.com a more dynamic site, where singles can use it on-the-go with their phone or tablet, and have it still look great using a desktop computer. It just became easier, faster, and super user-friendly to use ChristianCafe.com on a phone, mobile device, or tablets. And, because we are mobile responsive, when you’re on the move, ChristianCafe.com goes with you.

STDs (Sexual Transmitted Diseases) (Part II)

STDs - Sexual Transmitted Diseases Part II

Our story continues with the second part of how to deal with being infected with STDs, or how to help someone you love who is infected with STDs. What should you do and how to find help? Here’s some good advice from a person who is going through a similar situation. This blog post shows where to find God in our hour of suffering. Christian Singles can learn from this story and how to deal with such a tragedy and prevent themselves from falling into the same trap as this Christian single woman.

The story shared in STD – Sexually Transmitted Diseases and Singles (Part I) is from a very brave woman who made ONE mistake that now impacts her life. First, I want to thank her publicly for caring enough about others that she allowed me to share her story. It is one way that God is using her ‘mistake’ to bring significant benefit to the lives of so many other Christian Singles. It is our prayer that God will use these articles to “educate” and empower others to the truth.

How does one go on with life when this or another tragedy has so greatly impacted them? As so often the case, this tragedy was mostly caused through the selfish act of another. You can most certainly say that there are these times when life is NOT fair.

STD – Sexually Transmitted Diseases and Singles (Part I)

STD singles epidemic

In a secular world where sex is seen as common and banal, Christian singles should know the risks, possible hurts, deceptions, lies, and consequences of what can happen to singles who have sex outside of marriage and may get infected with a Sexual Transmitted Disease. Below is a real story from a Christian single after she found out that her fiancé gave her an STD.

What every single REALLY needs to know about STD’s

An email was recently received from a woman. Her candor, pain and advice were so compelling that I felt God directing me to share this with you. I have received her permission to share this without revealing her identity.

I was not aware of some of the facts that she stated and asked her to provide a source of confirmation. Boy did she! I will provide this reference at the end of the article for your benefit, too. The facts are undeniable!

Please ask God to use the truth in this personal story in your own life as well as the lives of other singles. John 8:32 ‘And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free!’

Do people see you as desperate when looking for love online?

Looking for love

When looking for love online, Christian singles can become desperate to find their match, which can become obvious to prospective partners to keep away from them. What is the correct approach for singles to be successful in their search for a life partner? Dr. Jim gives some insight on how to go about looking for love on a dating website.

Do women/men see you as desperate when looking for love?

The following words were received from a single adult:

‘I’m surprised at how many men can be so desperate to find a woman (I can’t speak of women’s desperation because I’m not being chased by women). Most seem to be hoping to find a woman to fill a void within themselves that only Christ can fill…the lover of our souls.’