In a secular world where sex is seen as common and banal, Christian singles should know the risks, possible hurts, deceptions, lies, and consequences of what can happen to singles who have sex outside of marriage and may get infected with a Sexual Transmitted Disease. Below is a real story from a Christian single after she found out that her fiancé gave her an STD.
What every single REALLY needs to know about STD’s
An email was recently received from a woman. Her candor, pain and advice were so compelling that I felt God directing me to share this with you. I have received her permission to share this without revealing her identity.
I was not aware of some of the facts that she stated and asked her to provide a source of confirmation. Boy did she! I will provide this reference at the end of the article for your benefit, too. The facts are undeniable!
Please ask God to use the truth in this personal story in your own life as well as the lives of other singles. John 8:32 ‘And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free!’
BE SURE to read Part II where I provide a response to her and to others who confront this and other challenging problems:
Living life to the fullest and possible consequences.
Dear Dr. Jim,
I lived in sin for several years, and when I became pregnant with my son at 21, I realized that something needed to change. I gave my life to Jesus and turned from my sin. The hardest thing for me to give up was premarital sex (please see previous article about Sex Before Marriage. It was very, very hard for me to deny myself in this area, but I kept telling myself, “God will send me a husband. If I can just hold on, I’m sure I’ll be married in a year or two.” The first year passed. No husband. The second year passed. No husband. “Hold on,” I told myself, “Next year, God will do it.” The next year passed. No husband. By now, I felt like my whole body was screaming for sex. I went to the Scriptures for help. The only answer I saw (besides more waiting) was the verse that says, “It is better to marry than to burn.” I decided to quit waiting on a godly man and just find some worldly guy who had a good heart. Then, I could get married and have sex.
I found a worldly guy who seemed to have a good heart (key word being “seemed”). I fell in love with him. The issue of sex came up repeatedly, and I kept saying no. Then, he asked me to marry him and I said yes. It became harder to say no…. after all, we were gonna get married.
Less than a month after we had sex the first time, I was diagnosed with herpes. He told me he had had it for five years. Adding to my devastation, he decided that he didn’t like being with a girl who wouldn’t go to clubs and parties with him… and he decided that he wanted to start smoking again…. and he decided that he didn’t want to be “tied down” after all… He left…. but I’m still here…. with herpes and a broken heart.
Please read a previous blog post about When to share your past.
I have messed up so badly, and I’m not sure there is any hope of me ever having the Christian husband I want, now. Do you have any advice or hope for me?
Since my diagnoses, I have learned that statistics say 1 in 5 people have genital herpes… I have also met several Christian singles online who have herpes and feel much the same shame and doubts… I think the advice you might give would impact more people than you would ever know. There are a lot of us out there with STD’s, but most of us are too scared or ashamed to admit it. Will you address this issue?
Myths and Reality
There are several false ideas people sometimes have about how they can keep from getting STD. Many, many people naively think that condoms will protect against STD. Condoms do NOT protect against genital herpes (I have also learned, in studying about this issue that the same is true for genital warts). In the case of herpes, an infected person’s body fluids are not the concern, as much as the skin in their groin area. The entire groin area of an infected person may be infectious during the viral shedding.
Periods and during the time of outbreak–this may take place even in areas of the groin that condoms cannot possibly cover.
Also, people with herpes do not have outbreaks all of the time–in fact many, many people only have them once a year or once every few years…. However, viral shedding may take place between outbreaks, without a person knowing it, and during this time, the infected person is contagious. So people who think they can just look for the sores and know if the person has herpes are seriously misled.
Another misconception that people have is that they can “tell” if someone is the “type” that would have an STD. My ex-fiancé did NOT look the “type”, I don’t look the “type” either. Now, that I am dealing with this lifelong issue and dealing with questions over whether I will ever get married, because of it.
It hurts me so badly to see others who are slipping into premarital sex. I know, but can’t really tell them–without exposing my own shameful secret–that their lives can be changed forever in one little slip-up. It worries me so badly that people have so many misconceptions about protecting themselves from STDs… and that these misconceptions can leave them with lifetime consequences.
Not my will, but Thine be done.
I have a burning testimony in my heart to how good and how perfect God’s way is. I know, because I did it my way–and I can see, now, how protective and caring His restrictions really are, and how flawed and damaging my own ideas can be. My prayer is that I will always listen to His still, small voice, from this day forward. Yesterday is gone… I want the future to be only in complete obedience to Him–no matter how hard it might be, at times.
Thank you for your kindness and compassion… I will be watching to read your response…
God bless you kindly.
REFERENCE AND MUST READING:
As stated before the story, be sure to read the second part of this article which is titled ‘Part II: God and STDs’. Continue…