Family is a huge part of someone’s life and some singles can feel lonely when they realize that being single cannot complete them like a family would. However, Dr. Jim shows how every single who feel lonely at times can be assured that they are part of a Heavenly Family. God the Father is with us even in our most dark (or lonely) moments.
Belong to a Family.
Each of us was created to belong. It is something that God placed into our very being and it is a powerful force. I can recall driving around after my divorce and seeing a husband and wife together, or perhaps with children, and breaking down and bawling like a baby because I was not in a family. This reaction went on for several years and it was something that I had to process to find wholeness again.
Interpersonal skills are very important when we are dealing with people we’re trying to impress, such a as prospective match. Even just listening to someone can impact how that person sees and relates to us. It’s also important to have a buddy support group to help with your people skills.
Do you have a love statement? Part III
In previous articles (Do you have a love statement? – Part I and Non-verbal communication – Part II), we have discussed how we make statements to others through both verbal and non-verbal communication. It was also pointed out that 65% of our communication is non-verbal, the part that has the biggest impact.
Our non-verbal communication with others is responsible for over 65% of our behavior. Dr. Jim explains the difference between low self-worth and self-centeredness and how we can identify and avoid these kinds of behaviours when dealing with others – and especially with a prospect match. And how to improve our non-verbal communication.
Non-verbal communication – Do you have a love statement? – Part II
Do you have a love statement? – Part I illustrated how both the verbal and non-verbal communication combine to present a ‘statement’ to others. In relationships, or potential relationships, these ingredients become what I call our ‘love statement’. It is the total projection that we present to others.
Dr. Jim explains how our “love statements” (verbal and also non-verbals statements) can impact our relationships with others. When using dating websites such as ChristianCafe.com, singles are only able to know part of the real person on the other side of the screen and they should be aware that what makes a sucessful “click” isn’t just what we see on the screen, or what we desire in a partner, and how the impact of their love statement can grow the relationship or finish it.
Do you have a love statement? – Part I
Love Statement – Several years ago there was a popular TV show called the ‘Dating Game’. A divider was placed about the middle of the stage – with three possible ‘dates’ on one side and the host and the contestant on the other side. The objective of the game was to determine which of the three possible dates the contestant would choose, without being able to see the three possible dates in person. The contestant could only ask questions and had to make up her or his mind based solely upon their voices and their answers. The audience was the only one able to see all the participants. This total view allowed them to see how far off the mark the answers were misleading the contestant. The game pointedly revealed the huge gap that exists when people are not able to see one another in person.
Singles usually wonder if the person they meet in a dating website will have some kind of physical attraction between them when they meet in person. Dr. Jim explains what kind of chemistry a person should expect to feel when meeting the person for the first time.
Is physical attraction something that can be developed?
Physical attraction is a word that is often used by single adults when describing what they are seeking in a relationship. Before I provide an answer to the above question, let me define ‘physical attraction’ as used in a relationship.
Reality can be distorted by our views of ourselves and the world. How can we prevent ourselves from falling into the trap of illusions and distortion that can interfere with our lives? Steps can be taken to get back to reality and heal ourselves in the process. Singles will then realize that the ‘real thing’ is much better than any mirage.
Reality – Are you chasing a mirage? Part III
Part I Are you chasing a mirage? Part I showed how our lives can often find us in the desert. There is much that can be gained from such an experience. Part II Illusion – Are you chasing a mirage? Part II illustrated how we can allow some of our attention to become so strong that things can become like a mirage and become an unhealthy force over our lives.
Sometimes single adults can become obsessed with finding a mate. And, in the process of finding Mr. or Mrs. Right, they can allow the illusion of what they think they need or want to take over their attitude and relationship with others. Here’s how mere delusions can become “reality” for desperate singles. Dr. Jim explains how observing the desert can help us to learn and to work towards improving our own lives, so that we can become healthy individuals before we search for our other half.
Illusion – Are you chasing a mirage? Part II
In the first article Are you chasing a mirage? Part I, I shared how I see the desert environment in parallel with the single adult life. Both hold great contrast with hidden beauties and joys awaiting discovery.
How can Christian singles relate to being in a desert? When can our alone times with ourselves be used to our own benefit, such as our own self growth? The most important one is when we can hear and know that God is near. Dr. Jim explains how our strength can be restored because of our battles. We can take the beauty of a desert and make it bloom with our own experiences and expectations realised!
Are you chasing a mirage? Part I
Hiking is one of my most favorite activities. This makes it great that I live in the state of Arizona. You will find me two or three times a week climbing up Sqaw Peak at full speed. It is a 1.2-mile trail but almost entirely steps up – up – up. I can make it to the summit in less than 30 minutes winter or summer. The temperatures vary from 38 degrees in the winter to 90+ at 6 AM in the summers.
Dr. Jim explains how words can drastically impact someone’s life and how our thinking can change our world view and block us from finding our desired love. Here’s how to prevent the external voices from influencing our inner voice and how to reject negative reinforcement.
Voices that block love – Part III
In part one: Voices that block love – Part I, I described how the words of others can negatively block us from the love and joy we desire in our lives. In part two: Voices that block love – Part II, I shared how the words we utter can drastically impact our lives. In this article I would like to share how the words we THINK (negative reinforcement) can block us from the love we are seeking.
While dealing with people around us, we should be aware of the impact of negative words on someone’s life. Criticism like that doesn’t help others grow. Dr. Jim shows why Christian singles shouldn’t bad-mouth a previous relationship/partner. It will likely turn off a future prospect.
Dear Jim: Voices that block love – Part II
In part one: Voices that block love – Part I, I described how the words of others can negatively block us from the love and joy we desire in our lives. In this article I would like to share how the words we express can block us from experiencing the best life has to offer.
I was new in town and visiting a singles group at a local church. It was a large group and there was lots of activity. I sat down toward the back of the room so that I could have a good view of the room – you know – the single thing to do. (This was back in my single days!) There was an attractive woman sitting in the row in front of me conversing with several other women. The words of criticism that came from her mouth quickly turned me off. I do not think that she had any clue that her words were serving to reject others.