Tinder is a bad place to be if you’re a single Christian

Tinder
Tinder Swiping

Today’s blog features a guest post by Garrett Conover.

Tinder has long been a staple of online dating. Unfortunately, it has also become a breeding ground for instant gratification and thus given online dating a bad reputation. Tinder has also made judging someone purely on their appearance a perfectly normal and acceptable thing to do.

What ChristianCafe.com has to offer that Tinder doesn’t

ChristianCafe.com offers something Tinder or any other mainstream dating site or app doesn’t. It’s a user-friendly online cafe with a database full of like-minded single Christians. They’re here looking for their forever match who shares their faith. Sure, appearances matter, but it’s really about character, integrity, and Godliness for them. If this is what you’re looking for, then ChristianCafe.com is the place for you!

When dating or courting someone, looks will always play a part, but as mentioned, what really matters are character and values. Tinder can train us to not take these into account and rather mindlessly swipe. Today I want to go over why Tinder isn’t a good place to be if you’re a Christian single. More and more, I see that people have very little patience when it comes to finding who they are supposed to be with and marry.

Check out our past blog post about what to look for in a Christian relationship

Tinder doesn’t promote a healthy way of communicating

Tinder is a culprit in many ways, the first being that finding a person you are meant to be with doesn’t just appear in front of you. People are very quick to simply move on to the next match or continue to swipe. Almost all decisions are made based on physical appearance and rarely a person’s character. In the long run, this habit of quickly moving onto the next person is harmful, as it doesn’t promote a healthy way of communicating.

Tinder is a place where people often go for validation from others. This can be harmful because we stop looking to God for assurance or guidance instead of looking to other people we don’t know. This can be very harmful because we can stray from who we really are and who God wants us to be.

Tinder’s instant gratification vs. ChristianCafe.com’s communication

It is no secret that Tinder promotes a promiscuous lifestyle. The premise of Tinder and the “hookup” culture surrounding it go hand-and-hand. What makes the issue more significant is that it’s viewed as cool to participate in this. Often, this can distract us from our relationship with God. And, how He wants us to live righteously and not engage in fornication.

The main point of Tinder is to find someone to hook up with, versus having a relationship with. In short, Tinder is really just making it easier for people to cave into their desires and look for instant gratification. There is no such thing as a free lunch, and as a result, instead of staying true to ourselves and our values, we can get lost in chasing momentary fulfillment instead of lifelong fulfillment. This is not how God designed us to be!

In short, Tinder has many downsides and very few upsides. Of all the dating apps and websites out there, Tinder is far from a good option. I think this is especially true if you are a Christian.

Don’t use Tinder if you want a serious relationship

If you’re serious about meeting someone special for dating or courting, come check out ChristianCafe.com. It was designed specifically for Christians looking for their life-long marriage partner. It has a great free trial, where you can interact with exciting Christian singles with no obligation. This­­­­­­­ includes messaging those you find interesting and responding to those who’ve expressed an interest in getting to know you. Check out www.christiancafe.com/welcome/join.jsp to get started today!

Garrett Conover is a writer with The Dating Site Index

Click to meet Christian singles today!

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14 comments on “Tinder is a bad place to be if you’re a single ChristianAdd yours →

  1. I completely agree with me article on Tinder, that it is not a place for Christians to find their future husband or wife. I myself have not been on it because of the fact that I’ve heard other people talking about it and mentioning that it was a hook up site and that’s definitely not what I was looking for. For me it’s a waste of time because I’m not going to be sleeping around with anyone Soooo it’s useless for me.

  2. Honestly I find it so disheartening when “Christian” men don’t have the decency to reply to an email. I’ve been on Tinder ( not now) & I agree with most everything you’ve said but I do find that men respond on there because their not afraid to say what they want.

    1. Sure, Perhaps Christian Café should make a rule that if your on their site you need at least commit to answering people as Christian Café has pre-set answers for persons who don’t feel they like whomever visits , plus provision for blocking harassers also exists, instead of Ghosting them as yes Ghosting is a terribly rude alternative to saying ,”Sorry I don’t think we are a match”. Its a compliment to be contacted regardless of who does so, Ghosting needn’t ever be an alternative. Still ignore such shows they weren’t what you thought they were.

    2. Really? My experience was the opposite. However, once I had a match I would give the guy three days to initiate communication before removing him as a match since I want the man to pursue me.

  3. While there is some good advice in the article, it reads as a marketing piece. The reality is that Christians on this site structure profiles similar to Tinder. They post a picture, they do not say anything of substance on their profile and/or they do not seriously intend to find a spouse through this means.
    I have only been on Tinder once and there was no substance there.
    Truthfully though, it’s really hard to make any real connection with online dating sites, Christian or not. This site is good, but being that almost everyone here is on the other side of the country or the world, many are only here for free memberships, and many aren’t really serious about this site, how have you made CCafe, effective for biblical communication?
    I’m sure, most who take the time to read these posts, would already know that Tinder is a poor platform. I think you should try to improve communication on your site though. It’s not the silver bullet.

    And regarding “looks” – you should really give people some advice on how to create a compelling profile, and encourage people to post relevant pictures and to write relevant info about themselves.

    1. Above everything I am looking to find a “CHRISTIAN WOMAN” and since this is a “Christian dating site” the expectation is that the person is a Christian. I can’t tell that by the picture of course but that is the point to act like there isn’t a physical attraction and to act like that doesn’t matter at all is silly if you ask me. So the fact that we all want to find someone who is attractive and also is a Christian this site should be about the photo but deeper than that it should explain why your a Christian, Do you have a passion for the gospel? What does life look like as a single believer? I mean lets face it there should only be one option on this site “Marriage Minded” because if not why are you even here?
      I don’t have a problem with the idea of swiping left or right because looks matter and that isn’t shallow in my opinion its just real. Now that being said I would rather get to know someone who is mildly physically attractive but has a real passion for Jesus and is wanting only to Glorify the Lord than someone that is physically a knockout but isn’t a believer or is so wrapped up in themselves there isn’t room for Jesus in their life or that doesn’t have a heart for Christ.

      My point is yes post a picture and yes its ok to find someone your physically attracted to but there is nothing more attractive to me than a woman who truly wants to follow Jesus no matter what and dies to self daily who is wanting to learn and be lead spiritually who is wanting a family that again glorifies God.

      1. I definitely agree with you in this part,if you not marriage minded then why would someone be here.
        It’s either a total waste of time and the person doesn’t have something constructive thing they are involved in.
        My thoughts..

  4. Hi, thank you to the author of this well written piece of truth.
    If you are truly a bible believing, spirit filled heaven oriented child of God, the bible way is the only way to build lasting & edifying relationship through meaningful communication. Ability to have deliberate meaningful communication is the sure way to discover your forever partnership. The bible teaches us that our heavenly father is a great communicator & He enjoys fellowship with His children. Many other sites including Tinder may be missing this key element to relationship building.

  5. The way I see it the fact that i have to buy a membership at a fee of almost $50 to join and have access to all parts of service makes ChristianCafe a less ideal place to meet people. Also missionary dating is a thing. Its not that alarming that people would go to tinder to find someone. But the Lord provides spouses for free in the sense that God provided for people of old and he can do the same for me and anyone else who trusts Him to provide.

  6. Let me say that I appreciate Christian Cafe so much and their content is just beautiful . I would not consider Tinder . However , I have been observing clearly for the past months that I have been here that some people are not what they are. Others are already in relationships , others are here for the forums , others are here for teaching & we also have those who are here just to chat and chat with people without any intentions at all.

    Online dating needs God’s guidance and prayer. We still have honest people that are believing and trusting God for a lifetime partner. And I also understand it is not for everyone.

    I have met good friends here on ChristianCafe that are not scammers – we video call , pray together and encourage each other on our walk in Christ.If I am to live without a spouse I will be grateful for these true friendships.There is a lot to learn in every phase of ourlives.

  7. I have to respectfully disagree with this article. I was recently on Tinder. There are definitely profiles where the person is shirtless and/or says they are looking for friends with benefits, but not all the profiles. I certainly was not there for that! I also didn’t swipe right on every attractive photo. I reviewed the interests that the person listed and anything they had to say about themselves before deciding which way to swipe. I would say that the initial appeal to use Tinder was the ability to meet more local matches. I obviously didn’t find anyone of significance, thus my reason for being here, lol! I also was contacted by a scammer there which really scared me.

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