Seeking Your Perfect Match?

The Perfect Match?

In today’s advice column, Pastor Jim discusses the notion of finding “The Perfect Match


As I interact with single adults, it quickly surfaces that there are many who have too high expectations for a match, or many who have very low standards. A great myth that keeps many dating sites profitable is the belief that if one searches long enough they will find the perfect match. This approach reminds me of the saying about finding a perfect church, if you find one DO NOT JOIN for it will no longer be perfect! This is certainly true when it comes to finding the perfect match in a relationship.

Share this article:

Online Dating First Message: What to Write (and Not Write)

The first message when online dating.

You’ve signed up with an online dating site, and you’ve found someone that you’re interested in. Instead of sitting back and waiting for them to contact you (no, really, make the first move!), you start to craft your first message to them.

First off, you want to make it easy for them to respond. Secondly, you want to capture their attention, so they actually do respond. Finally, you want to make yourself seem likable, so they want to write back.

So, what should your first message consist of (and not consist of)? We’ve got some tips for you to help your chances of getting a response.

Share this article:

Relationship Advice: Ask Questions!

Asking Questions vs Making Statements

Is there correlation between questions and good relationships?

Dr. Jim explores the topic of making statements versus asking questions – and how that can affect human dynamics, especially in relationships. We’re thinking this can be applied well when conversing with other singles on online dating sites, when on actual dates, and – of course – in dedicated relationships.

Share this article:

What does your face say about you?

your face: Remember to smile!

Dr. Jim talks about your outward appearance when trying to meet other people (i.e. smile!) — Remember this in your dating site photos as well — show yourself in a positive light!


The face is the primary vehicle for non-verbal communication

The face is an interesting aspect of our physical appearance. Think for one moment what it would be like to try to know someone else without being able to see his or her face. It is the primary vehicle for non-verbal communication. The position squint of the eyes, the turn of the mouth, the wrinkling of the forehead can make a big difference in understanding the spirit behind the actual words.

What do people see in your face? Let’s say you are walking around the office, out with friends or family, or in a singles gathering – is there a communication getting there before ‘you are?’

The expression ‘poker face’ comes to mind. This is the term used to define someone who does not show their emotions, or the normal emotional response, in their facial expressions.

Life can be very challenging at times and really get us down. When we are ‘focused’ on our problems, too often we walk around wearing a frown or looking downtrodden.

Share this article:

First Date Tips: Managing Expectations and Staying Safe

First Date Tips

DEAR JIM: ARE THERE GENERAL GUIDELINES FOR SCREENING PEOPLE THAT PERHAPS I CAN USE IN THE FUTURE TO AVOID THE BAD EXPERIENCE I HAD?

You are one of many who have written to me with a similar question. Yes, I do believe that some guidelines SHOULD be created (called boundaries) as you approach any relationship – especially over the Internet.

Share this article:

Are You Wasting Your Time?

How we use our time can significantly contribute to the quality of our lives. In this article, Dr. Jim discusses three areas where we can improve how our time is spent: Online, Worrying, Dating.


How do you spend your time? Time is a very valuable commodity and one that cannot be recaptured. You have choices of how you will spend your time. As you wake up in the morning, what is your first thought? Okay, after having a cup of coffee.

Share this article:

Are Opposites Always Attractive?

Everyone’s heard ‘Opposites Attract,’ but how true is it? More importantly, how does this notion figure within a Godly context of dating? In this article, Pastor Jim explores this concept in greater detail with insight for Christian singles.


Opposites Attract

How long has this saying been around? Obviously it has been an indicator of human behavior for longer than you and I have been around. I would like to share one situation where this saying stands true, and another where it is an element of extreme danger.

Share this article:

How Long To Wait to Meet Offline?


You’ve emailed back and forth via your favorite online dating site and possibly even communicated via IM, SMS, or Skype. So, when do you actually meet in person? How long to wait to meet offline? There’s definitely something different about meeting face to face in comparison to just communicating via text. There are mannerisms and many (many) other things that make meeting “offline” much different than “online”.

Share this article: