Dr. Jim tackles the question of whether a Christian woman should let a man know that she is interested in him.
DEAR JIM: SHOULD A WOMAN LET A MAN KNOW SHE IS INTERESTED?
This is not a Biblical question, but allow me to share some thoughts.
Cultures dictate how men and women relate to one another. Social interactions in our societies have changed in recent years and the distinction between men and women has become confused.
A recent email asked the question regarding is it okay to show an interest in a man. Some men would love it, others be taken back by it. Confusing times for all!
“Is there a way to show an interest without being too forward? I think that there is.”
Showing interest without being too forward
My counsel to her was to engage in conversation with this man at an event (they attend the same singles group at church). When the conversation ends, make a statement something like “I enjoyed talking with you. Hope we can have another opportunity soon to talk some more.” This is a way of showing interest, but not being aggressive to a point that might turn off some men.
I suspect that many of you women using an Internet dating service do not have a problem expressing your interest to men on the service. At least this is the feedback that I have received. But you might have difficulty doing the same thing to a man that you suddenly meet in a social setting. Consider something like the above to see if an interest develops on his part.
Show respect; Value the other person
There is one primary premise upon which all interaction must be based – whether you are the man or the woman. Whatever you do be sure that it shows respect and values the other person. Leave no doubt in your words and deeds that this is paramount for you as you relate to others.
What about paying for the meal?
Oh yes, who should pay for the meal? Well I have a suggestion there too. The man should say something to the woman like this, “I came prepared to pay for the meal, is that okay with you?” This way the man is taking the lead and most women like this. If she is not feeling secure or is more independent, this approach will give her the options that she needs to feel safe and valued.
May God bless you and lead you in your interactions with one another.