Everyone’s heard ‘Opposites Attract,’ but how true is it? More importantly, how does this notion figure within a Godly context of dating? In this article, Pastor Jim explores this concept in greater detail with insight for Christian singles.
How long has this saying been around? Obviously it has been an indicator of human behavior for longer than you and I have been around. I would like to share one situation where this saying stands true, and another where it is an element of extreme danger.
There is something within us that seems to magnify what we do not have. If we are missing, or think that we are missing something, that void draws our attention. It may be a lack of funds, comfort, or relationship that fuels this. “Opposites attract” is often very noticeable in the attraction that pulls people together in relationships. This pull is not in itself a negative. You have seen very thin people be attracted toward heavy-set individuals. Countrified individuals can often be attracted toward what I will call more cultured people.
Attractions that are coming from a healthy position are a normal part of life. Be thankful that everyone does not enjoy the same thing or life would quickly become dull and bland.
However, there are some attractions that serve to form relationships, which are not healthy. An example of these are when one is drawn toward a more dangerous, or living on the edge, lifestyle of others. This is the subject of many movies. While it may be attractive, the appeal is only superficial and reminds me of the story of Pinocchio. Recall his draw toward adventure and the underlying danger that entrapped him.
When you find a strong appeal/draw toward someone or something, force yourself to step away and seek objective counsel.
If it is healthy, this action will only serve as confirmation. But if it is only a mirage with quicksand at its foundation, you will detour from another painful experience.
When Opposites Should NOT Attract
Today’s society makes it okay to put self ahead of others. Many of our cultures are dictated by being comfortable. It has become natural to want modern conveniences and think that we are deprived if we do not have all or most of them. Because of this steady diet of ‘satisfaction,’ we are drawn toward a self-fulfilling lifestyle.
One significant crime that evolves by following such pleasures and lifestyle is that it only serves to take us along with the crowd. If you will but stop for a moment and take stock of those around you, you will discern that they are more like sheep or cattle just mulling around and never satisfied with life. In this context, opposites do NOT attract. It feels abnormal to consider going in a different direction than those in the world around you.
Following and fulfilling personal feelings has gotten each of us into a lot of trouble.
If you are very dissatisfied with life right now, it is more than likely because at some point in time in your past history you chose to satisfy your feelings above all else.
How Do We Balance Between Desire and Wisdom?
We are by nature self-destructive of those values and qualities of life that bring us peace, joy, and deep fulfillment. The Bible calls this sinful nature. The Bible addresses this in Ephesians 2:3. We all did it, all of us doing what we felt like doing, when we felt like doing it, all of us in the same boat. It’s a wonder God didn’t lose his temper and do away with the whole lot of us.
This is the time when one needs to be doing the opposite of their feelings. Yes, it will not feel natural and that is exactly the point. I challenge you the next time that you feel strongly about making a choice to STOP. I did not say slow down but used the word stop.
Consider whether or not this choice is fulfilling a selfish desire or is being made with wisdom. Step away and seek a wise counsellor.
This may be a licensed counsellor, or a friend or pastor who has spiritual maturity and has your best interest at heart.
Another test that you can use is to make a concerted effort to do the opposite of what you find your selfish feelings wanting you to do. Is this not what the Bible is telling us?
Proverbs 14:12 There’s a way of life that looks harmless enough; look again–it leads straight to hell.
Opposites are a part of life. The role they play in our lives can serve us well or lead us toward destruction. It is my prayer that the seeds that I am being led to plant will germinate in your mind and spirit and lead you to days of greater joy and peace.