Relationship advice on online power dating.

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Online dating is a great way to meet other Christian singles. However, one has to be realistic and never put the dreaming in front of the friendship. There are some points that should be considered to make your online experience a healthy one.

Online Power Dating?

Do you find yourself being drawn to check your email often during the day? Do you feel some type of “force” within you pushing you to find a connection? Do you become very excited about the idea of checking for an email to you, and really depressed when you don’t have one?

Online Dating Expectations.

Online dating often creates unrealistic expectations. I suggest that the biggest one is that it possesses some sort of “magic” and will rid you of the void and loneliness you are feeling. This is false expectations and often leads to great frustration, and even depression.

The availability of the Internet allows you to be on the computer hour after hour. It enables you to scroll through profile after profile in hopes of finding that special connection. You begin to drop any standards that you may have and begin to send out emails of inquiry to those where you find even a small possibility of something in common.

Here are some points that I think you should consider whether you are making your online experience a healthy one:

  1. Do not check emails more than 3 times a day.
  2. Do not spend more than 1.5 hours in total on the computer checking profiles and writing or responding to emails. Once you find someone and begin to relate with them the time may become longer.
  3. This experience should not be done alone. Develop 1 or 2 Christian buddies of the same gender to help you keep perspective during this experience. They can be a great sounding board for you with suggestions in how you can present yourself in the most positive light.
  4. Be open and honest and do not submit to any temptations to embellish something that you are not.
  5. If you find the “force” is especially strong and draws you to spend great lengths of time “surfing”, stop and take a break. It would also be good to discuss this with a Christian counsellor and ask them to guide you to a healthy experience.

Online Dating is a great tool, however…

Online dating is a great tool to meet and make new friends. Out of a friendship can grow a relationship of your dreams. However, to put the dreaming in front of the friendship often leads to unhealthy behavior and unfavorable experiences.

Dr. Jim

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