Some Christian singles have a hard time making friends. What should you look for in new friends? Should you look for friends from your gender or is the opposite ok, too? Dr. Jim gives some insights in looking for the right kind of friends for you.
Dear Jim: Whatever happened to friendships and what should you do to make new friends?
Building friendships has become a lost art in today’s society. I am not sure why, but so many do not have genuine friends whom they can turn to for support and encouragement. A lot of singles (men and women) write to me sharing how they are having difficulty finding friends. There are a variety of reasons stated such as others are much younger in their church, or there are no singles at all.
One thing that each of these singles have is that they found my articles and email address on a Christian Singles sites. Thousands of profiles are available of singles that are facing many of the same challenges they face. Something is missing here!
I realize that the ‘motivation’ for most in using a Singles site is the desire to find a mate. What if they used the same site as an avenue to develop Christian friendships – first with their own gender and then the other?
How to search for a friend on a singles dating website.
Here is my suggestion. Instead of searching the profiles of the opposite gender, spend some time searching the profiles of your gender. Look for others who have something in common with you and drop them a note and share this common fact. See if there is a basis upon which to build a friendship. This does not have to be the ‘long lost’ friend of your life but one never knows?
Some of the richest memories of my life are those where I enjoyed deep and meaningful friendships. The ‘buddy’ need in each of us is best met through someone of our own gender.
Try it! Think about some criteria for a ‘friend’ and then set out through the profiles of Christian singles to see whom you can find that develops an interest in getting to know. Drop them an email inviting them to see if there is anything in common. Watch your expectations and allow God to do the guiding.
I just think that each of you are sitting on top of a treasure chest of wonderful friendships and am hopeful that this will serve as a key to unlock some great experiences.