Christian Friendship

Christian Friendship

Pastor Jim provides advice for Christian singles, stating that finding a ‘true, cherished, valuable friend’ is very important even before searching for a romantic relationship. Build Christian friendships that are ‘mutually rewarding, and then move to romance.’

It’s Not Being Single but Alone

Being single as an adult is not the challenge, it is being alone that breaks us. It is not whether or not you are in a romantic relationship, but if you have a relationship with others that makes the difference between enjoyable living and misery.

God created us to relate to Him and to others. This is as fundamental as having breath or blood. Our systems were not engineered to isolate and take life alone. To do so is to step outside of God’s plan and try to make it on your own. At best you might find enjoyment for a moment, but without relating to others you will soon grow inward and isolated from both people and reality.

Finding an authentic and real Christian friendship.

I see this as a huge challenge for single adults. When life is not shaping up the way one desires, the temptation is to withdraw and put up guards against being hurt directly or indirectly. Soon the only voice one hears is their own and it becomes self-defeating and depression sets in.

You must connect with others in an authentic and real way to maintain physical, emotional, and mental health. This relating must be with someone who genuinely cares for you and will tell you the truth, in love, before you get into a perspective or way of moving that will take you on an unfulfilling journey.

I am not speaking of romantic relationship. In fact, I do not believe that a healthy romantic relationship can exist unless there are other relationships that are genuine and caring. The measure for a romantic relationship comes from experiencing real friendships.

The type of relationship I speak of is found in a friend, a true, cherished, valuable friend. A friend that is as they say closer than a brother – or sister. This type of Christian friendship takes time and effort to find and build. Yet, it is more essential to your future than your job or your education.

Before a romantic relationship, start a Christian Friendship.

Before you set out to find a romantic relationship set out to find and develop a real Christian friendship. I find that friends of this type are of the same gender and tell it like it is because they want the best for and out of you. Finding and building this kind of relationship is a key also to you learning how to be a great partner when the time comes for a romantic relationship.

Build a healthy life for yourself by first focusing on building friendships that are mutually rewarding, and then move to romance. Not only will it be less lonely, but also you will make fewer mistakes and find new ways of seeing and moving in life than you ever experienced before your friendship.

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147 comments on “Christian FriendshipAdd yours →

  1. I am looking to make some Christian friends. Not looking to build a dating relationship with anyone. Just need to make some Christian friends. It is hard for me to do that. I am bipolar and have a panic disorder. It is hard for me to make and keep friends because of my mental illnesses.

    1. Well I feel you , iam sort of the same way but life has been terrible I also need help in finding friends, but that’s hard when you have a big obstacle in your life. I hope we can talk some more and pray for me in guidance in my life.I will too.

      1. Would you mind helping me with prayer? I and a group of Christian men go into prison here in Mississippi to minister to the residents. If interested please contact me on facebook. James Brooks or [email protected]
        I’ll assign you a 10min. Or a 1.5 hour block maybe a class or group would help. Thank an may God Bless

    2. hi Nileeta, I totally understand about ure issues. I’m bipolar too , its hard to meet new friends with me too!! I feel like I fail the lord too sometimes! I hope we can become friends

    3. Nileeta read the Bible every day, keep fellowship with those who are not earthly minded. Read Psalms everyday and meditate on Gods Word. Keep praising God.

    4. shalom.
      I understand you and the serious problem more. You have a GREAT GOD FOR HELP.
      I am a christian from Brazil

    5. Hi Nileeta, I am a born-again Christian and a Haiyan survivor in Tacloban City, Philippines. Just lift everything to God by denying yourself and allow God to work in you. Jesus loves you, just have faith friend.

    6. Nileeta,I hope you persevered because finding Christian friends will be the most powerful medicine next to Christ is love for you! I am also seeking Christian friends so many people posing to be real waving their bibles yet they do not actually get the true message of peace and patience and respect, and never letting you r temper or mouth spew angry and offensive words! Yet there are Godly people who want to be friends and share our faith so please persevere! The holidays can be rough for me, and I bet you too, a lot of kind and lonely people may God and Christ have mercy upon us! And lead us towards sincere, positive God Respecting,God loving and obeying (non-addicts, preferably!) people! We need positive, not argumentative Christians to be mentally at our best! I hope you have cultivated a few flourishing Christian friendships! Amen! Your Sister In Christ, Kc Chinn

      1. Need someone to count on. Been tru abusive relationships were am always sacrificing my joy for odas n yet am seen as a monster

  2. I agree. Friendships are important. I have four brothers and no sisters. However, me and my close friend are just like sisters. We even call each other sisters. It is imperative to establish close relationships with others. Ecclesiastes 4:9 (NIV) tells us that two are better than one. Everyone needs a support system.

  3. I am looking for Christian friends with whom i can communicate; but when i click on some body like Wanda Moses who says he needs christian friends who are God fearing and constructive; it does not open . So I don’t know what to do next.

  4. is it really possible to get true Christian friends online?
    I’m a serious type, and don’t joke with my salvation. I believe in love, trust and holiness

  5. Just looking for christian friends, for fellowshipping, encouragement, laughter, & simply growing in the Lord.

      1. Hallelujah. I am from Kenya, would like to share the grace of Christ with the Christians everywhere. Jesus said love one another so that people may know we are his disciples. We are one family.

        1. Hi Robert, it is always nice to meet another Christian! Thank God for your Zeal to share Christ with others! That is what we are supposed to do! We need to be Soul Conscious! Every person we see will eventually die & it is either Heaven or Hell. We must do our Best to witness & win soul for Christ! God Bless You!

    1. Hi Rose

      Your post says 2013

      So has this cafe’ been on here that long?

      I’ve wanted a forum where we could all talk, laugh, learn and grow around other like- minded Christians –

      I wish I knew about this one sooner so far looks great

      Are you still on here?

  6. hello nice to know u.. i want u to be my friend… is it ok?… i want to have a christian friend.. friend that has a genuine faith in jesus

      1. Hello James, It is so nice to meet Christians that still Love & Trust & Fear God. God is So Good & is Worthy of our Praise! Nice To Meet You.

  7. Greetings My Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ,
    What a wonderful opportunity to say hello and tell you how much i would love to begin to share with you about my relationship with the Lord! I have been truly blessed and every day give thanks for all Jesus has done for me. Love to hear from you all and build a beautiful christian friendship. God is so good and life is too!
    Love and blessings, cynthia

    1. i really need a christian to share the word of God with and to encourage ourselves in the lord. I will be happy if that lucky friend will be you

    2. Samuel born again. Pleasure to hear from you. Its good to know the Lord Jesus as savior. God bless you so much and keep you. Lets pray for each other.

  8. I’ m looking for a godfearing christian friend , genuine and true possessing a thoroug biblical background from preferably asian region.

  9. hi! Greetings from India. I am married and blessed with two children. we pastorate church in village called Thallamada. want a spiritual friend to advice us.

  10. Am 34 years I need true Christian friends because it’s friendship that comes first for a relationship to go on, happy couples are real life time friends

    1. Dear Margaret,

      Indeed, you need to find a best friend in your partner, for the relationships to become a more fruitful one.

  11. I need a God fearing, caring young lady to minister with, iam. preacher to nations with the word of God through. Jesus Christ Iam 27yrs I pray that God through Jesus Christ will connect me to the person of my vision.
    I need a partner not only in marriage but more in ministry thank you. Kampala uganda .

  12. please, I am looking for an evangelist (male or female) who can teach me more about global evangelism. Thanks.

    1. Hi there, we are a site dedicated to Christian singles and do not know anything about global evangelism. You have to search the web to find sites that can help you with your search. Sorry about that.

  13. my name is Christina im almost a teenager i will be in less than a month.i want and need someone i could talk to about christ.or just a friend. at least advise.i recently gave my life to christ and repented and asked to forgive me for my sin.i am also learning the lords prayer Aramaic.s

    1. Hi there Christina, We are glad to hear that you have gave your life to Christ! Our site if for adult single Christians and we do not accept under age Christians. You need to search in the web for a website that serve young christians. God bless!

  14. hello brothers and sisters. am Francis , and am single I am an ordained minister. I run a teaching ministry am looking for a God fearing girl PROVERB 31 : 30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. a woman which we can work together because JESUS said As long as it is day, we must do the works of him who sent me. Night is coming, when no one can work. John 9 : 4. Am looking a woman from Europe or America so we can work there.

  15. Iam Doris,from philippines.47 years old.a born again Christian and looking for a partner..a God fearing man.from 50 to 65 years old..iam currently working now at Jordan .

  16. It is a great pleasure to have Christian friends to help one to grow spiritually and have a sense of belonging,have people close to you who are caring

  17. I need some advice. There’s this sweet lady at my church whom I’m friends with. The question is: How do I show her the love of Christ without being too clingy or irritating? PLEASE HELP!!! I WANT TO SHOW THE LOVE OF CHRIST, BUT HOW?!!!!

  18. Hello,

    I am new to Christianity and Jesus since 2 days actually, but I feel so glad and blessed now. Because I am new to Him I don’t have any Christian friends to share this with yet. I would really love to get to know more Christian people and share my feeling and I would love to hear your stories! I am 19 years old myself.

      1. Hello we all do need that close friendship to help us and support us in situations spiritually emotionally we all do need a good friendship god bless been single over ten years and sometimes can be overwhelming but in god I put my trust.

        1. I put all my trust in God.I am nothing without Him.I became a widow at my early age of 39 having 3 kids.Whatever it takes I am always grateful to God because He is the great author of my life.

  19. I don’t know why I am here… I just want to talk to someone outside of my normal circle. Im always the strong one amongst family and friends… always the one who gives advise and encourages others…this past year has been so tough. I’ve been balancing work, school, being a mom, starting my own business…I just feel like I’m trying to keep my head above the water and tidal waves keep coming to take me down. I know there are so many who have it worse and I shouldn’t complain.

    1. God bless you Kelly…
      Hang in there sister.
      God looks at the heart and as you take 5 min or 30 min in quiet time… He is there.
      I will be praying for you.☺☺

    2. I can identify with you that’s how I feel as a mom and a wife. Been married and have so much to do. Its like i am drowning
      My husband talks to every female he gets about me. If we have an issue he takes it to that person there is no confidence in our relationship

  20. its really hard maintaining your christian life when you friends are non-Christians… i really want to grow my spiritual life but continue failing the lord

    1. Be encouraged Christina.
      May the Lord truly guide your heart in the proper direction for Christian friends 😆😆

    2. Hello, I am an older female who would love to meet other Christians who are interested in learning the Truth of God’s Word and His Ways. I live in Edmonton ALberta, Canada, and I would love to study the Word and am taking courses in Spiritual Warfare that I would love very much to study with a female only. I am lonely myself and now, I am very sad with loosing my only side kick my Jack Russel Missy. I just want to take my course, but I would love to share with a Female Christian of course, to take with me FREE OF CHARGE. I really need a sounding board and a Friend to share Jesus with me. Thanks for all in this City as I need not travel. I also speak French and am from Quebec. But I am wanting a True Follower of CHrist and not a pew warmer. THanks

  21. We’ll be together forever in paradise. You may as well like me now!

    This article is very convicting. I know I’m robbing myself and others by not being the kind of friend I want. I resolve to choose a couple of people to invest my time in… in my own neighborhood. So? Where are you!? I’ll be looking – hope you’re looking for me too – and God will bring us together.

  22. Hello! Thank you, it is really a great article… I am living in Argentine, far from my country, and sometimes i feel so alone… I am hoping to find my best friend christian ( at least online), even if we are in a different continents, i hope to be friends and if God let us, we could meet.

  23. I’m a Christian, recently widow, age 51 with 2 special needs grown sons. All I’m looking for is true Christian friends from Denver, CO. to come over and pray with us and worship together. Why is it hard to find true Christian friends?

    I don’t want to date anyone, just form friendship with people my age group who knows what is like to feel the pain I’m experiencing and feel as alone as I.

    May God truly bless those of us seeking true brotherly/sisterly love and find it. In the name of Jesus, Amen!

    1. Hello Christiana,
      I’m From Sri Lanka.I will pray for you.I Also have agonising experiences in my life. But always The God is with us to help and bless us.

  24. How does one go on with no money in my purse and no food on my table.
    No family in this country. No on to talk to who really cares. Been criticized and blamed for everything, lost my self esteem, but my faith is strong and I do not know how I would survive this if I did not have the Lord in my Life. I am like a ship without a rudder being tossed about in the stormy seas of life, Please pray for me.
    Thank you.

  25. I am new to online communication and it is the loneliness that has driven me to reach out- yes I know God is in me ans with me but i need that human friendship (not romantically) – as I find myself questioning my purpose to live

    1. Hey!, same here, Not looking for anything romantic but I don’t really have any Christian friends from my age (22). I have friends but just not Christians but it is sometimes hard to take advice from people that don’t have faith or believe in anything. It is different and their advice doesn’t really work for you might understand.

      Where are you from?

  26. I’m 20 years old and I’m a born again!! I’m looking for Christians friends who I can grow with in Christ Jesus, it not good for Christians to be alone

  27. I want to die sometimes when I think of the bad choices Ive made and the choices I made because of those choices. I dont believe God will forsake me forever but I dont know how to go back when am stuck…I know I should have chosen Him before all others but I didn’t nd I haven’t and now am wishing my life was just over

  28. Hello fellow believers iam new on this forum, i kindly ask you to join me in faith to pray with and for me to overcome my overwhelmingly financial put that am in. I ask God to bless me with a job, fruit of the womb, and help me to over come my financial debts. Enough is enough. I have always heard about God sending Angels to people i ask

  29. Looking for Christian friends to chat to or anyone that needs encouragement.not looking for marriage or relationship just good friends sharing the word of God.

  30. Hope this works…I have been praying for a while for a God fearing, sold out believer like myself. I am not looking for a spouse or a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, just a friend. I live in Texas.

  31. I truly would love to have God fearing friends.
    I feel blessed that my Heavenly Father would link me with those whom I will be a blessing to and they, to me.

    1. I feel the same. It’s just hard to find true happiness with people without others having something on there mind other then God 1st and conversation 2nd. I don’t have many friends at all .. To a degree that’s a good thing but sometimes I do get lonely for home conversation..

  32. I need a god fearing Christian, caring ,understanding n goal getter friend. I don’t want a friend that tables on my weaknesses or forces me to see myself as a monster. I need a female friend. But a male friend is also welcomed. A very patient n understanding person.

  33. Am a Christian I will love to have God fearing friends and those who want to know God to be my friends

  34. I was truly in Love with Jesus and was attending church every Sunday and Wednesday and now i have lost my way. I’m alone and sad all the time. I’m always looking for a good friend and maybe even a wife that can get me back on the right track.

  35. It’s a wonderful thing to relate with Christian brethren from any part of the earth. That’s the only family that will continue when we are done on earth. I desire great friendship, so we can strengthen each other the more with God’s word.

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