Are you jealous? How to combat it.

Jealous are you?

We can easily become jealous from time to time of people around us or even of strangers. What can this negative sentiment do to a person and how can it destroy your lives and aspirations? Dr. Jim explains how to deal with it and what to do when you feel jealous towards other people.


I am jealous and I would like to know how I should deal with jealousy.

Life is unfair at times. For one reason or the other we arrive at a point where we see others around us enjoying what we wish we had. The more we focus on this, the stronger this negative emotion develops within us. If it goes unchecked, it can destroy a person and block them from finding the very thing that they most desire.

What does being jealous mean?

It is a negative attitude or feeling toward someone else. It surfaces when the focus is on what one does not have (and wants) versus what one possesses. The element of control comes to play with this emotion along with not wanting to share. God tells us in Romans 13:13 ‘Let us behave decently, … not in dissension and jealousy.’

The above question was received from a single adult. It is very challenging when you see someone that you are really attracted to, but they are not attracted to you. When someone else seems to ‘fit’ his or her desires, it is accepted as a form of rejection. Please read more about First Date No Attraction

What do you do with these jealous emotions?

  • First, admit that the feeling is jealousy and not a healthy behavior in relationships.
  • Consider the fact that you cannot control how others respond to you and what they feel or want.
  • Ask God to reveal the truth of the situation to you in a way you can accept it emotionally.
  • Consider finding an older Christian of your gender, one that you deeply respect, and ask them to share some insights and wisdom to deal with this emotion. You can develop a great mentor for this and other occasions in your life.
  • If you are not able to move beyond these feelings, find a Christian counsellor to help you find a healthy solution.
  • Do not speak negatively about the person toward whom you’re jealous about. This is a time for you to practice what you know God would want you to be, rather than what you ‘feel’ like.

Jealousy is an emotion that can ruin your perspective and imprison you. Do not allow it to grow, and certainly do not feed it. Consider the above steps to help you move to a healthy and enjoyable place in life.

Dr. Jim
Author of “Guide to Successful Online Christian Dating”

Photo: Il Bacio 1947 by Furman Stewart Baldwin.

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1 comment on “Are you jealous? How to combat it.Add yours →

  1. I’m not a jealous person but when my ex husband I see my two eyes in my household kissing each other cz don’t expect them I come back inside when I make BBQ 🍗 in our 3year anniversary that I’m so jealous in think 💭 to kill them but I choice to be quiet in pretend I’m not see them on next day I bring my Sons allowance and again I’m home same I found so how to control the jealousy?in going big fight to them in we separate,,until I found my husband he’s told me to divorce me cz my maid. She already pregnant,,

    Did think 💭 this only bad jealous?

    Thanks for advice ,,,

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