You’ve got – family!


Family is a huge part of someone’s life and some singles can feel lonely when they realize that being single cannot complete them like a family would. However, Dr. Jim shows how every single who feel lonely at times can be assured that they are part of a Heavenly Family. God the Father is with us even in our most dark (or lonely) moments.

Belong to a Family.

Each of us was created to belong. It is something that God placed into our very being and it is a powerful force. I can recall driving around after my divorce and seeing a husband and wife together, or perhaps with children, and breaking down and bawling like a baby because I was not in a family. This reaction went on for several years and it was something that I had to process to find wholeness again.

Single adults have a huge force within to be a part of “family”. While they may enjoy many friends about them, there is something that is defined as family that is missing. What is it about family that is so powerful? I know that it is having others around to build and share memories. It is the closeness of others who are facing common challenges and joys that makes a good part of this feeling.

I do not know why Christ did not marry. It is interesting to realize that He experienced life as a single adult. Christ did have family. He had an earthly Mother and Father as well as a brother (James). In His humanness, He also felt very close to His Heavenly Father. Remember that He emptied Himself of His heavenly glory and became like us. He was created with the same inner drive to belong. Was Christ lonely? My understanding is that there were times when He felt very alone, especially in the days and nights before His death.

“He emptied Himself of His heavenly glory and became like us”

Father, Big Brother and a Mother.

However, Christ knew something that is a reality for each of us – single or married. We do have a family. For us, we have a Father, a Big Brother, and a Mother. Do I have your attention?

  • Father – God is the Father of each of us.
  • Jesus Christ – is the Big Brother that each of us desires. Gal 4:7 “You are no longer a slave, but a son; and since you are a son, God has made you also an heir.”
  • Mother – The Holy Spirit possesses many of the qualities that we think of in a mother. His Spirit is the completeness of caring for us in a loving and sustaining way.

As I write this article, I am very sensitive to the fact that there is no substitute for the touch and feel of a human family. I also know that there are many who do not have this experience and find it a big void in their lives.

To read more about being lonely, please see the blog post: Christian, Lonely and Single.


1. God intended for the “church family” to take on a role of caring and supporting with close fellowship, especially for the widowed and singles. No, I cannot find any specific scripture that single adults are unique like widows. However, the Bible does describe how we shall be known by our love! (John 13:35)

2. One of the Advisors to our ministry shared that she “adopts” family. She adopted the lady across the street after her Mother passed away. She says that she “adopts” others too and it brings a fullness to her life. What a wonderful experience it could mutually become if you were led to adopt others to your family.

3. Married and singles need to reach out and “include” one another in their homes and activities.

4. Christian buddies (of the same gender) are an awesome gift. Set out to develop some friendships that can reach to this depth.

“Big void in their lives”

God is your Father.

This life poses particular challenges to each of us. I embrace the fact that not being in a family is lonely. However, I invite you to think about how God is your family and desires to be that “closeness” to fill the “belonging” that He designed into you. Paul shares in 1Cor 7 that the unmarried are to focus on the affairs of God. I do believe that God will honor this focus in many ways that are unique to each individual.

Our Heavenly Brothers and Sisters.

This earth is not forever and our time here is limited. You do have a heavenly family and it is a very big one. I look forward to the day when each of my single friends are filled with all the family that eternity can provide. Until that day, lean on God to provide the earthly family. Set out to give to others their “family” needs as you can and see all Brothers and Sisters in Christ as YOUR family.

Dr. Jim
Author of “Guide to Successful Online Christian Dating”

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