What is Love? What is Not?
Internet dating is in desperate need of someone reminding members to pay attention to what is love, and what is not when you are in love.
The most common misconception is that love is feelings and a heightened excitement caused through the presence of another. While it could be infatuation, lust, or self-indulgence, the experience or condition that many singles refer to as love is exactly the opposite of love.
How Can You Tell if You’re In Love?
How can you tell if you are in love or having another experience? It is really much easier than many realize. Let’s consider several ways to confirm if it is love, or a self-serving experience:
- Where is your desire’s place in this experience? If you are honest and find that the basis of the experience is coming from a place of pleasure then it is not love.
- If the focus is on initiating activity that ends up making you feel good or excited, it is not love.
- If you are not sacrificing or giving up something for the sake of another’s needs or their well being, it is not love.
- You are not able to spend a balanced period of time by yourself in your own activities but must see, hear, or touch them – it is not love.
- If you are required to too often be giving in to the wishes of the other person, it is not love.
- If you are staying in the relationship because you fear you will not find another, it is not love.
It’s Not “The Thrill”
There is the thrill of a new relationship, when you first fall in love or just in meeting someone of the opposite sex during an initial period. This thrill is not love either but the strong human drive to be connected with another. What is love when seeking a soulmate?
What is Love?
Love is a commitment built upon trust, proven over time to build compatibility and mutually serving interest and growth. It seeks the best possible conditions for the other person’s benefit, sometimes at one’s own expense. It is not selfish, crying for attention, and complaining when things do not go their way.
Love Test Includes Mutual Hardships
The real test of love comes when mutual hardships are shared and used to deepen the relationship. If a couple has not experienced any challenges in their relationship, they have not arrived at the point of realism that is a cornerstone to love. It is in the hardships that love begins to mold the two into a relationship.
Love is a wonder and the fruit of commitment, diligence, and grace under testing.
The next time you feel like allowing saying “love“, consider what it really is and treat it for what it is and do not fantasize something that will take you away from what you are really seeking.