Christian Divorce: How Does God Relate to Divorce?

Divorced Christian in contemplation

Pastor Jim provides the below advice for divorced Christians, speaking as a divorced Christian himself.


Even though I am the son of a Pastor AND have been in full time ministry myself, I am both the child of divorce AND the cause of my children experiencing divorce in their parents. I have come to believe that divorce is the biggest evidence of a fallen nature in our world today. All of us are now touched by it.

How could it be that God allowed divorce in the Old Testament? This will be one of my questions when I arrive in Heaven – I think??? But when Christ came He shared that this was NOT God’s perfect will and that God hates divorce. If He hates it, then how does He relate to those in divorce?

Divorce is NOT the unpardonable sin!! So many choices that we make are not what God intended for us – because He knows that they will not bring us the joy and completeness that we think they will.

“And what does He do when He sees His children hurting? He chases after us with all of His love and grace.”

As with all sin, God’s heart is literally broken when we experience divorce – whether we were the primary contributor to it or not. And what does He do when He sees His children hurting? He chases after us with all of His love and grace. It may not seem like it when we are in the middle of all the pain. All we need to do is call out to Him – in our anger, deep pain, depression, whatever – just CALL! He loves you deeply and wants to guide you to the path of restoration and grace.

How do I know? Because I chose to deeply wound my wife of 25 years and cause our divorce. I chose to live in the choices I wanted – instead of His – and caused destruction to play havoc in my life and in the life of my family. BUT God did not give up on me. Through the love of some Christians, deep counseling and God’s love and grace, I finally ‘surfaced’ one day into reality. Then I recognized that God had been chasing me ALL my life. He knew that I had this rascal side of me all these years – even when in His ministry.

“God loved me anyway and been chasing me so that I could become ‘whole’.”

God had been trying to get my attention to ‘save’ me from the destruction. One day I realized how much damage my sinful nature had caused – even after I was a Christian! Quickly followed the realization that God loved me anyway and been chasing me so that I could become ‘whole’. Now I felt REALLY loved – knew deeply what GRACE was and felt like.

I share this openly because I want you to experience this power in your life. God hates our actions or the actions of others who negatively impact us, but NEVER hates His children. Embrace the difference! Thank Him for it and ask him to walk you THROUGH this period of your life and RESTORE THE JOY OF YOUR SALVATION as King David said after he embraced all the damage that his sin had caused.

In His love,
Dr. Jim

Mark 10:1-12; Romans 5:8; Psalms 51:12

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Comments
  • Shei says:

    thanks for your honesty Dr Jim. i am also daily fighting to contain the rascal in me.

  • lara moody says:

    Dr. Jim, Thank you so very much for opening your heart and sharing your testimony, I pray God moves through it far and wide. I am on the other side of your story and you so described my husband and his choices. I have prayed my heart out and am standing in faith that the Lord will use the divorce he has chosen to bring him into the fullness of God’s love and to truly understand His grace and mercy. Blessings!

  • Hi Dr. Jim,

    I am putting together a book of Christian Divorce Memoirs. May I use this post in my book? Do you have any other posts regarding the same topic?

    Thank you for this, regardless! It is wonderful and just what I have experienced from our dearest Savior!

    In Him,
    Virginia

  • Hi Virginia,

    Sure, you can reproduce this, however please reference ‘ChristianCafe.com’ as the source. If online, please link to this post. We don’t have any other similar posts at this time.

    Thank you

  • Barbie says:

    i just don’t get the dating websites
    how can people charge money for a person to meet others, and what if you don’t have money to be on a dating site doesnt that send a message? , i cant met a man cause i can’t pay for a dating site , , hmm ,,, i am confused , why a Christian would want to make money on the emotions of others ,and that is some thing that is ordained by GOD some one help me understand , supposedly Christian sites that charge ,,, Do we not share are gifts freely and how does Gods word view this ,really know???

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