Today’s quest post is from Oscar Collins.
5 Questions Christians Should Ask Before Entering a New Relationship
Accepting an invitation for a first, second, or third date is thrilling. You could grow closer to your partner and find your future spouse – but will they also be your spiritual partner? Matching your spiritual beliefs sets the foundation for a healthy relationship.
Take the guesswork out of your dating life by considering these questions Christians should ask before entering a new relationship.
1. What Is Your Relationship With Jesus Like?
This may seem like a fundamental question, but it’s a great place to start a conversation on any date. Your partner will likely feel excited to talk about how they came to Christ before or after you provide your testimony. As they answer, you’ll learn why they value their beliefs and how they approach being in a relationship with God.
Some people are more studious about their faith by studying Scripture and the history surrounding it. Others take James 2:17 to heart by demonstrating their beliefs through works such as service opportunities. You don’t have to express your beliefs precisely in the same way, but how your partner lives out their faith is an essential expression of their character and interests.
2. What Do You Do for a Living?
Just like secular folk, people of faith do ask about their partner’s career, especially on first dates. You should know how they provide for themselves and what they desire for their professional future. It’s essential to support that part of your partner’s life and how it may affect you, like moving frequently or having a specific quality of life.
Careers also show how someone exhibits the fruits of the spirit outside of their church community. Do they grant kindness and love to their co-workers and have self-control in high-stress positions? Reflect on these things as your partner answers to better understand them.
3. How Do You Value Your Purity?
Christians prioritize physical purity before marriage based on Biblical guidance, but that can mean something different to each person. Ask your partner how they value their purity to learn about their standards or preferences for intimate moments.
Your standards should match theirs, so you don’t need to worry about potentially compromising situations. You’ll know they’ll trust your boundaries if they place the same limits on themselves.
4. What Church Do You Attend and Why?
It would be challenging to have a happy marriage if you don’t attend the same church as your partner. Inquire about their preferred denomination during your first few dates to learn what they believe. If you’re a Catholic, for example, you may not feel comfortable dating someone who doesn’t revere Mary or the saints to the same extent that you do. Conservative Protestant Christians typically do not (at all!).
Your partner’s answer will also reveal what size church they prefer. They might like small congregations because everyone knows each other well. They might want to attend only mega-churches to participate in more activities and meet new people. Your opinions could clash, so learn these things while the relationship is just beginning.
5. What Was Your Last Relationship Like?
Everyone benefits from asking about what someone’s last relationship was like. You’ll learn what worked and what didn’t work for your partner, which may help you decide if they’re right for you.
This question can also reveal if your date learned something about their Christian values that changed or reaffirmed them. You’ll discover what they prioritize and hope to find in a partner before getting to know them for weeks or months.
6. Who Is Your Spiritual Mentor?
Anyone can profess Christian beliefs, but having a mentor means someone dedicates themselves to learning more about their Christian identity. Mentors pray with people and encourage them, but they also point out ways to grow based on Scripture.
Sometimes people don’t have in-person connections to a mentor but seek similar support from other leaders. This question could prompt interesting conversations about who your date listens to on the radio, which podcasts they love, and which authors they respect. You should find more shared interests while centering your time together around your beliefs.
Look Forward to a Great New Relationship
Christians should ask these questions before entering a relationship because they highlight important things you should know about a potential partner. Once you know that you believe the same things, share foundational values, and express your faith similarly, you can trust that your relationship will thrive because you’ll live the same life in Christ.
About the author: Oscar Collins, he’s the editor-in-chief at Modded, where he writes about relationships and many other topics. You can find out more on his Twitter for regular updates.
6 comments on “5 Questions For New Relationships.” Add yours →
I love this article. I wish I had read this article before my first date, which ended a bit weird out as the guy wanted sex but stated he was a Christian and spoke Christian. These questions would have been a good way to vet an partner.
This has been my experience pretty much 100% of the time. And this is even with me being upfront about purity and that I will not have sex outside of marriage. It is as if they think that they will be able to persuade me to sleep with them. I just don’t get it. Jesus is my first love and shall remain my first love. When I have a husband again one day, I will shower him with physical affection and intimacy….but until that day comes, I am going to honor him, honor myself and, most importantly, honor God.
I have even asked these questions listed above…and still the same thing. I am just waiting on the Lord and continuing to walk in obedience.
Thank you thank you thank you! A few of these were standard, and the other ones became problems in my last relationship. Not ready for next one yet, if I even do, but this is good to know. God bless.
1. How is your relationship with Jesus?
2. Do you follow the Ten Commandments including number 4?
3. How do you value marriage?
4. In case of problems who do you approach?
5. What type of music do you listen?
think this will do for me thanks
I found this article informative. Thank you for sharing this piece of writing. It guides Christians looking for love on how to ask important questions. sometimes we end up asking questions which do not reveal the intention of another person. thank you.