Dr. Jim provides some pointers on how to start dating again – after a break up. This post is written for women, but can be reversed to apply for men.
DEAR JIM: HOW DO I START DATING AGAIN?
Times have changed, but values have not! I am afraid that you will find more men with less good manners and more into themselves.
Here are some thoughts that come to mind as you consider dating:
Build a strong foundation of friends
First (very important), build yourself a strong foundation of close Christian women friends. You should be accountable to each other, open and vulnerable. This will be a great resource to you as you find a variety of situations.
Words are not always the truth
What a man puts on paper is not always the truth and the whole truth. Take “words” – spoken or written – as AN indicator to be confirmed.
Do not rush into anything. You will find men who will “fall in love” with you at the drop of a hat. Their soothing words will be like fresh water in a desert to you. Be prepared for this and make sure that “the process” takes place over time before you allow your emotions to become engaged. Here some interesting blog posts for those Still single at 30? and a broadcast from Focus On The Family about Over single and 30.
Expectations – this one gets ALL of us in trouble. It is a temptation to lead with your heart as you seek to find someone to come into your world to counter the loneliness, etc. I strongly suggest that you do not place your expectations on others that you meet, but put ALL your expectations on God. He will provide the best – if you wait on Him.
Where do singles meet and mingle?
Find out where single Christian adults in your area meet for activities, etc. This makes a great place to make friends and meet men. Again, I always caution in the expectations area. Read about the topic what are the Dating Changes for Older Single Adults
Think ‘friends’, not ‘future mate’
Make friends – not seek a future mate. I find this an easier approach. When one comes along that you mutually wish to develop more, you will know it and can do so.
I am sure that there are many more points, but these are some that come to mind. May God guide, bless and protect you in your journey.
What else would you suggest? Let us know in the comments below!