Pastor Jim discusses the “shopping” mentality of dating – and online dating. Are you doing this?
The shopping experience
Most of those who read my articles are in North America or a very modern culture. Life has become very easy for so many of us with so many choices at our fingertips.
A few years ago some friends from Switzerland came to visit me in California. We had never met before and decided to have dinner at our first meeting. The greetings were super as we enjoyed finally getting to meet each other in person. The waiter came to take the order and I received an education!
The waiter asked for what they would like to drink and that took a few minutes. He came back with the drinks and began to take the order for the meal. He asked what they would like to order. I quickly saw that this flustered my guests. They ordered the entrée only to be asked how they would like it cooked, whether they would like soup or salad, and so forth. When the ‘experience’ with the waiter was over, I asked my friends what was the challenge. They told me that in Europe you are not given choices. You just accept what comes with the meal and that was it. The ‘shopping’ experience tired them out.
Are you ‘shopping’ for a relationship?
As I relate to so many single adults I often find a “shopping” mentality to how so many approach finding and building relationships. A long list of options is developed with so many requirements. The journey is begun looking for the ideal candidate for a relationship. IF there is the slightest bump in the road and challenge, too many singles just run back to the online shopping center of relationships.
It is no wonder that so many single adults are not finding and enjoying great relationships today. They are either the “shopper” in my above scenario or the victim of “shoppers.” Everyone loses!!!
Love is not from brief interactions
Love is not the result of brief interactions but real love comes from a series of choices that move toward a love relationship. I find many think that LOVE must strike first before it is worthy of involvement. No wonder so many are going around in circles and the years are rolling by without any satisfaction and joy being realized. What is Love?
Before you quickly dismiss that it is ‘others’ who are the shoppers, I encourage you to really think about your attitude. Have you allowed the mentality of the world to infiltrate your mind and take you off course?
Seek those who could become deep friends
Here is a formula that I invite you to give serious consideration. Set out to find people who have the potential to become deep friends. Have fun with them AND build trust so that you can share the deeper challenges of your lives. Allow God’s Spirit to build an endearing relationship that has the potential to grow into much more. Do not put the cart before the horse and EXPECT every potential friend to me your long lost mate. Be real and do it God’s way and allow the power of His Spirit to work in your life and through you into the lives of others. How To Make Friends.
Above all, do not slip into being the shopper. It is my observation that shoppers are as negative an influence on others as those who are called players. Both are self-centered and hindering God from working in your life.
Do your shopping in the grocery or department store and know the difference when you are online or in the company of others.