Some single Christians sometimes are afraid they are going to have a lonely Christmas. How to turn it into one filled with cherished memories and excitement? Dr. Jim talks about his own experience of spending Christmas alone. Not everyone is able to be with family or friends. How can we share our joyful spirit when we don’t feel happy?
Lonely Christmas Again
Ho, ho, ho or no, no, no?
Christmas is only a few days away and our world is filled with Christmas ads for shoppers. Radio stations are playing Christmas music 24 hours a day. Some start before Thanksgiving. It is a wonderful time of year – right? Well, not for many single adults. The emphasis only serves to magnify what they do not have as a result of their single status.
I can recall many Thanksgivings as a single adult when I had no family or friends. I found myself walking to a local restaurant and ordering the ‘Thanksgiving meal and eating alone. It felt great to have the warm gravy and familiar taste of turkey in my mouth. But it was just not the same as the memories stored in my mind.
How does one handle all the emotions and thoughts that surface and scream to take away the ‘joy’ of Christmas?
Pam and I literally wish that we could have EACH of you over to our home to enjoy the day. We really do for we understand those feelings and the need for acceptance and ‘family.’ Since that isn’t possible, will you allow me to ‘care’ and send along some thoughts in a way that you may consider that can make this Christmas turn into one filled with cherished memories?
- One thing that I did not want to do when I was in this mood was accept an invitation from a family or friend to be with them on a holiday. My ‘feelings’ of loneliness and sadness preferred to be fed and enjoy the pity party. My brother and his family always invited me to be with them on holidays, but it was a big struggle to accept their invitation and drive 2 hours to their home. There was something that ALWAYS happened when I did though. I found myself thoroughly enjoying the time with them. The food was not just good, it was great. There is something about being with those you enjoy and love. Thus, the first thing that I want to encourage you to do is to accept an invitation given to you by family and friends and GO. Allow yourself to have a good day.
- What if you don’t receive an invitation to spend the day with someone? This will happen some years and need not rob you of finding joy. Perhaps this is the year that God wants you to look around for other single adults and invite them over to your place for a warm day of hospitality and food. Make it a potluck event and ask others to bring dishes. This allows them the opportunity to participate and feel like they are making a difference too. Plan for games or activities that are a blast and can be enjoyed by all. MAKE memories by finding or developing friendships. Can you imagine how much it would mean to turn a sad day around (lonely Christmas) for someone else? There is mutual joy in giving like this.
- Seek out organizations that are involved in helping others this time of year. There are many of them and with contributions short this year, they could really use some help. There is something ‘magic’ about being involved in providing for the needs of others. It often reminds us that no matter where we are, our situation is not as bleak as many others are experiencing.
- Attend Christian services at your church or another church in your area. These are special moments of connecting with Christ to celebrate His birth. There is a richness and ‘family’ to be found that transcends our human experiences.
- Do not allow the “world’s” projection of Christmas to rob you from experiencing the joy of Christmas this year. The real meaning of Christmas floods each of us with the gifts of God. Embrace being a part of His wonderful family, and remember that one of these days Christmas will mean spending it with Christ at His home. Now that will be a Christmas for all of us.
“The real meaning of Christmas floods each of us with the gifts of God”
Increase Your Chances For Success.
Yes, Christmas is one of those times that surface a lot of emotions from within. These emotions are signals of many things that we’ve experienced over our lifetime. I do not say that one isn’t to pay attention to these emotions. My encouragement is to recognize them for what they are and make a choice to not allow them to rob you of some wonderful memories.
A thought comes to mind as I conclude this article. Perhaps the biggest reason that Christmas is sad for many is the loneliness. If you make the choice to NOT connect with others this Christmas, you are not allowing God the opportunity to connect you with those who may prove to become very important in your life. What if God has a new friend for you at that activity you do not feel like going to? I have no desire to play a game with your emotions. My point is that we increase our chances for success when we make wise choices and place ourselves where positive things can happen to us.
Do you want some cheer this Season? Check out our Blog post on great Christmas Quotes. Sometimes we just need great music to make our spirit fill with joy. Check out some of the greatest Christmas Songs of all time. Sometimes just listening and remembering our childhood memories, can make a lonely Christmas become a joyful one.
“We increase our chances for success when we make wise choices and place ourselves where positive things can happen to us.”
Our Desire For You.
Pam and I are praying for each of you. While we may not know each of you in person, our spirit cares for your spirit and the world you are experiencing. We are asking God’s Spirit to bring you great joy this Christmas and lead you to experiences that you will cherish. This will be a great Christmas season! (and no more lonely Christmas).
Merry Christmas!
Jim & Pam
Dr. Jim is author of “Internet Dating: A guide for Christian Singles”
HAVE A MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Seeing the greeting cards with pictures of friends and family with spouses and children bring out the lonely feelings in me as they remind me of what is missing in my life, how unfortunate I have been to find mainly men who want to remain single because a relationship is too much work or wounded divorced men who do not wish to ever marry again.