Dear Jim: Is it wrong to date someone of a much younger age?
This questioned is raised from time to time in an email from a single. The question about age gap relationships is either about men dating younger women or women dating younger men. Does the Bible have anything to say about this? No – there is no scripture that says Christians should not do this. Cultures may vary around the world on this, but God has no instructions in His Word that says anything about age and relationships.
There are practical considerations that each person should entertain if they are considering dating someone much younger OR older than themselves. I would encourage anyone in this type of a relationship to not rush into anything and allow plenty of time to consider all areas of the relationship.
How should you approach dating overall, independent of age gap relationships?
I believe that dating should be approached when we are as healthy as we can be in all areas of our life. If we take the time to do this first, then we will be less tempted to approach dating with any wrong motivations. No one should be seeking a relationship to fill a void in his or her life. A void will become a suction demanding more attention than other areas of the relationship. This initiates the relationship in an out of balance condition. Do you know what happens when we do this? The relationship acts like the ball in a pinball machine – bouncing all over the place trying to find success but with no stable way to maintain the relationship.
Allow me to share a thought in how you can remember what happens when you allow your life to be led by a ‘suction’ (void). It leads to a result where you will find yourself saying ‘this sucks’! (In case your language does not relate to this term, it means that the condition is an extremely poor one that you do not want to find yourself in.)
Develop friendship first
I encourage you to set out on an adventure to make Christian friendships. First, develop friendships with those of your own gender and build a strong sense of close community through an accountability group. Then broaden your community by making friendships with members of the opposite gender whose qualities and characteristics you find wholesome and attractive. Then allow God to guide you in a path that brings the ultimate peace and happiness to you. The results will be what they will be – guided by God and your mental and emotional health. If and when He leads you to someone, it will not matter what age that they are.
May God lead you in wisdom and discernment as you entertain building relationships with others.
1 Corinthians 10:31
Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.