Age gap relationships. Dating someone much younger.

Age gap relationships

Dear Jim: Is it wrong to date someone of a much younger age?

This questioned is raised from time to time in an email from a single. The question about age gap relationships is either about men dating younger women or women dating younger men. Does the Bible have anything to say about this? No – there is no scripture that says Christians should not do this. Cultures may vary around the world on this, but God has no instructions in His Word that says anything about age and relationships.

There are practical considerations that each person should entertain if they are considering dating someone much younger OR older than themselves. I would encourage anyone in this type of a relationship to not rush into anything and allow plenty of time to consider all areas of the relationship.

How should you approach dating overall, independent of age gap relationships?

I believe that dating should be approached when we are as healthy as we can be in all areas of our life. If we take the time to do this first, then we will be less tempted to approach dating with any wrong motivations. No one should be seeking a relationship to fill a void in his or her life. A void will become a suction demanding more attention than other areas of the relationship. This initiates the relationship in an out of balance condition. Do you know what happens when we do this? The relationship acts like the ball in a pinball machine – bouncing all over the place trying to find success but with no stable way to maintain the relationship.

Allow me to share a thought in how you can remember what happens when you allow your life to be led by a ‘suction’ (void). It leads to a result where you will find yourself saying ‘this sucks’! (In case your language does not relate to this term, it means that the condition is an extremely poor one that you do not want to find yourself in.)

Develop friendship first

I encourage you to set out on an adventure to make Christian friendships. First, develop friendships with those of your own gender and build a strong sense of close community through an accountability group. Then broaden your community by making friendships with members of the opposite gender whose qualities and characteristics you find wholesome and attractive. Then allow God to guide you in a path that brings the ultimate peace and happiness to you. The results will be what they will be – guided by God and your mental and emotional health. If and when He leads you to someone, it will not matter what age that they are.

May God lead you in wisdom and discernment as you entertain building relationships with others.

Jim

1 Corinthians 10:31

Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.

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4 comments on “Age gap relationships. Dating someone much younger.Add yours →

  1. Hey Family.

    We appreciate these hard topics you bring along CC. Personally, I think as a lady turning 32 this year , if it is God’s will I would prefer to meet someone 10 years older & below ( the desire to have kids ) . However , that is all up to the Lord .

    If the age difference becomes huge there can be problems in relating with one another since we are in different phases of life.

    But if God is leading someone that way we should not discourage them. An article by GotQuestions gives us important fundamentals to consider besides age :

    The person we marry should be of the opposite gender (Genesis 2:21–25), and he or she should be a believer in Christ (2 Corinthians 6:14). And, of course, we should marry for the proper reasons (lust and greed being improper reasons). Beyond those guidelines, we have a certain amount of freedom concerning whom to marry or date.

    Age differences are a matter of consideration, and we should certainly ask for wisdom when the difference is great (James 1:5), but the Bible does not treat age differences as a moral or spiritual issue.

    The advice on how to build friendships is just awesome . Still learning how to build pure Godly friendships especially with the opposite sex. It becomes hard when you are attracted to that person .

    **Blessings **

  2. Hey Family.

    We appreciate these hard topics you bring along CC. Personally, I think as a lady turning 32 this year , if it is God’s will I would prefer to meet someone 10 years older & below ( the desire to have kids ) . However , that is all up to the Lord .

    If the age difference becomes huge there can be problems in relating with one another since we are in different phases of life.

    But if God is leading someone that way we should not discourage them. An article by GotQuestions gives us important fundamentals to consider besides age :

    The person we marry should be of the opposite gender (Genesis 2:21–25), and he or she should be a believer in Christ (2 Corinthians 6:14). And, of course, we should marry for the proper reasons (lust and greed being improper reasons). Beyond those guidelines, we have a certain amount of freedom concerning whom to marry or date.

    Age differences are a matter of consideration, and we should certainly ask for wisdom when the difference is great (James 1:5), but the Bible does not treat age differences as a moral or spiritual issue.

    The advice on how to build friendships is just awesome . Still learning how to build pure Godly friendships especially with the opposite sex. It becomes hard when you are attracted to that person .

    **Blessings **

  3. no I don’t think so, our hearts and minds can never be cheated. its not about the age its about the qualities in the relationship and how much the two persons involved understand each other. I have a friend who’s married to a younger guy but she treats him so much love and respect sometimes i tend to forget he’s the younger one in the relationship. if your chooses someone then go for it, regardless of what anyone says.

  4. A brief comment about the Bible : There isn’t specific instruction but there are examples. Look at the book of Ruth, there is an age gap relationship that went well. Isaac and Rebecca is another one, but there was a problem due to the age gap, exacerbated by Esau’s lifestyle.

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