Dear Jim: How can I guard myself from being hurt from the hurt and disappointment that accompanies being let down?
Do you find yourself in a cycle of being let down by others? Do Christians and non-Christians say one thing but when it comes time for action, they just don’t deliver? The pain that comes from such repeated cycles is tremendous and needs to be addressed rather than allow it to ‘imprison’ one from his or her future and the necessary element of trust.
What you can do after disappointment
What can you do if you find yourself in such a cycle? Here are some suggestions for you to consider as you ask God to lead you out of this desert in your life:
- The first step is perhaps the most challenging one. While it is likely true that others were untrustworthy, the only one that you have control over is yourself. Accept the fact that there MAY be something in the way you approach others that contributes to these repeated cycles.
- How do you find out if you are contributing?
- Ask a close Christian friend (someone you do trust) to share their insights in this area with you.
- Quite often cycles are so entrenched within us that we (and perhaps even those closest to us) are not able to recognize the signals. Our emotions and psyche are very powerful forces. They will go to GREAT lengths to develop ways to protect our emotions. I speak from personal experience about this.
- Past rejections and failures in relationships set us up for future ones. I see this over and over again as I relate to single adults. We HATE pain – yet we continue to make choices about friends, etc. that significantly contribute to more pain.
- What to do to discern if you have issues?
- The best course of action is to find a good, Christian counsellor to help guide you to an understanding of the issues and how to process them to a healthy conclusion.
- Friends may mean well in trying to help you, but unless they are trained they are not equipped to work in this area. Pastors can be a good source to guide you to a good counsellor (if they do not have the training themselves).
Pain, disappointment, & rejection are a part of life.
Pain, disappointment, rejection are a part of life – even a healthy life. It is when they become cycles and do not have the balance of success and joy that they become more devastating than they should. If you do not step out in life, you will not find the joy and many of the wonderful surprises of life.
When Christian singles keep getting the same results in relationships. A Dating Advice blog post.
Now let me leave this into the spiritual significance. Satan loves to fuel hurts and disappointments, especially between Christians. It is his greatest effort I believe. If he keeps you in depression and pain, he has you imprisoned.
God definitely does not desire this for you and has provided the power to be released. Sometimes He chooses to use His power by touching our lives directly and making the difference through insights, etc. However, my experience has reflected that He most often chooses to release His power to freedom through one of His children. This could be a Pastor, a Doctor, a counselor, a teacher, a good friend, or even a stranger.
He never leaves you and His Spirit wants to guide you through this storm. Reach out to Him in prayer right now, asking Him to guide you and assure you of His presence and love. Then put some action into your faith and reach out to one or more of the ones that I have mentioned who can help guide you to great discoveries and great freedoms.
A final thought.
A final thought for you on disappointment. You did not arrive at this point in your life in a day, and you will likely not process the way to freedom in a day either. Count on God to see you through.
Psalms 28:7 ‘The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song.’
Philippians 4:13 ‘I can do everything through Him who gives me strength’