Christian singles who are looking for a spouse sometimes come to the question of whether it is ok to date a non-believer. Or, what the reaction of their family would be if they brought home someone who wasn’t Christian. Are these kind of relationships worth pursuing? What does the Bible says about being unequally yoked?
Can different religions bring a relationship to God?
The Bible states clearly that believers shouldn’t be with non-believers. But how is that not ok, when we see couples who don’t have the same religion, fall in love, get married and live a happy life together?
We forget to think about the foundation of love and relationships. If the foundation is built on different beliefs, it is like a house’s foundation being built with concrete and clay. Somewhere, it will crack and possibly crumble. Adding children to the mix will make it worse.
Bible passages about unequally yoked.
The Holy Bible has many verses and passages showing the Israelites going astray from God because they married people who believed in other gods. The Israelites started to serve the false gods around them, rather than bringing their spouses to worship God. It happened to the most intelligent man in the Bible, Solomon, so yes, it can happen to you, too. Why, then, would you then take the risk?
As Solomon grew old, his wives turned his heart after other gods, and his heart was not fully devoted to the LORD his God, as the heart of David his father had been. Kings 11:4
Here are other passages that alert us to avoid worshiping false gods or intermarrying non-believers (being unequally yoked):
- Do not intermarry with them. Do not give your daughters to their sons or take their daughters for your sons. (Deuteronomy 7:3)
- Now honor the LORD, the God of your ancestors, and do His will. Separate yourselves from the peoples around you and from your foreign wives. (Ezra 10:11)
- Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? (2 Corinthians 6:14)
The children of these inter-faith marriages.
I see people from different religions struggling with what to teach their kids, what to say about God and what to teach about God. I see the impact of a non-Christian partner’s actions and attitudes towards life, others, church, and Christianity has on their children and on their spouse. I see people struggling to teach their kids about Jesus, when one spouse doesn’t want to or believes that kids shouldn’t be taught about Him at all, or wants to let the kids decide when they get older. There are cases where the partner doesn’t even want celebrate Easter or Christmas.
I see the kids of those marriages, in their teen years, struggling with faith, as they see that the parent who isn’t a believer not believing or going to church, so why do they, the kids, need to go? Why believe in God when one of the parents doesn’t even care if there is a God or worships a different god?
The believe spouse can end up compromising on their faith and convictions to “save” a marriage or to avoid hurting their partner. But, whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin. (James 4:17)
What you may face marrying someone with a different religious conviction.
Religious beliefs really impact a marriage. While it may not break the marriage if both sides are committed to making it work, more often than not, a relationship with someone without your beliefs can really damage the relationship, as the “stronger” will dominate the “weaker”. I see children from these kinds of marriage not having a strong faith themselves.
Check out ChristianCafe.com’s blog post about Relationship Advice: Is my relationship ok with God?
Dating a non-beliver is a dangerous step that the Christian single has to avoid, if they want to follow what the Bible teaches and what God expects from us. And more so, if we Christians believe that only those who call our Lord Jesus their Savior, and live their lives to honor His sacrifice for all of us, would you be willing to live a happy life knowing that your spouse, who isn’t a Christian, won’t be in Heaven?