I want to get married, but no mate yet.

I want to get married

“I want to get married”. Many Christian singles have this desire in their hearts, but over time they get discouraged, as they haven’t yet met that special someone. Dr. Jim has some encouraging words to help singles in trusting the Lord with whatever outcome He has for their lives.


If I want to get married (as God placed the desire within me to marry), why has He not provided a mate for me yet?

You pose an interesting question about desire and marriage. As I consider the question, I wonder if the desire to marry is one from God or one developed because of your personal desire. There are a lot of single adults that pose this question to me.

I want to honor your desires and feelings as I ask God to share through me. What comes to my mind is that there are often many desires in our lives that for one reason or another they are not realized. It is a human condition and we shall always be lacking in one way or another on this earth.

“The Need To Belong”

God did place within us the need to belong. The need to belong is a God given drive. The main purpose is for so that we will need God, for only He can satisfy the deeper longings. The need to belong is also within us so that we are motivated to reach out and include others. 1Cor. 12 is one passage of scripture that clearly points out that none of us is created complete but needs others. In my opinion, I suspect that it is the need to belong that drives most single adults and they translate it into the need to marry.

Leave it in His hands

Try as I may, I do not presume that I can adequately answer this question (I want to get married but ) for each person or each circumstance. When I realize an area in my life that is lacking, I know of no other way to handle the disappointment than to pour out my feelings to God.

“Leave it in His Hands to Work Out the Best Solution”

I tell Him it is not fair and I am hurting. However, I continue that while I do not like or understand why this is happening to me, I do trust Him. I purpose to not allow the circumstance to sour me or draw me away from doing all that I can to realize my desire, unless God shows me that my desire is not an honoring one. Then I leave it in His hands to work out the best solution for me.

Prayer For A Relationship

Do not allow Satan to rob you of the joys that God wants to share with you, whatever and whenever they are. I am asking God’s Spirit to communicate to each one in the way that is comforting and filled with hope.

Dr. Jim
Author of “Guide to Successful Online Christian Dating”

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4 comments on “I want to get married, but no mate yet.Add yours →

  1. I thought that was a really good answer. We should always be pointed to the Author and Finisher of our faith. I have been a widow for 9 yrs and I think it is harder after having had a meaningful relationship-to be without. I pray constantly for God’s will to be done. I haven’t faced the possibility that I might have to die to that vision. But thanks for the insights.

  2. Enjoyed your article. I have been divorced 11 years (second divorce) and marrying again is not something I am feeling driven to do. Perhaps self-doubt but mostly wonder why God would even desire for me to marry again when He has such strong feelings about divorce. But like you stated, “Leave it in His hands to work out the best solution” is my heart’s desire. Thank you for this article.

  3. I am a 63 year widower, and as a father of two adopted daughters from China, I am faced with all of the challenges of dealing with the teenage years all over again. I desire to be married again, as my daughters need to see what a healthy relationship between two parents is suppose to look like. I would rather they learn from me than from the world. They are 15 and 11. I have tried and tried by contacting many women from 45 and up, and the bottom line is that the majority of them are empty nestors and refuse to take on that responsibility to partner with me, and to speak life into my daughters. I had a very healthy relationship with my soulmate and wife of 17 years, but I certainly didn’t expect to be alone with my daughters. It’s been almost three years, and I have much to offer, but not one taker. Many women over 50 have said: Good luck, I wish you well, I want to travel, not a good fit, etc. I am blessed to see life fresh through the eyes of my daughters, and I totally embrace the fact that children are a blessing! The only interested ladies are from China or some other Asian country. Perhaps it’s just to obtain that US citizenship. So what does it mean that it is not good for man to be alone? It means going to sleep at night with blessed memories of a soulmate that is experiencing the fullness of joy in the presence of the Almighty! God is good and I give Him the glory! Blessings, Paul

  4. I’m pretty sure there is always an answer to all our prayers, when it is for your own good, surely you will find what your looking for. So waiting is important. Meantime. Enjoy your family ties and wait for the right woman.
    Blessings.

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