Some Christian singles may not be sure about using a Christian interracial dating site to look for their soulmate. Dr. Jim explains what the Bible says about interracial dating and the best way to make sure that your relationship can turn in marriage.
Dear Jim: Is it ok to use a Christian interracial dating site?
Our world has certainly ‘shrunk’ in recent years. Travel and communication not only make it easy to be in contact with other parts of the world easily, it has also increased migration from one part of the world to another. The Internet has greatly contributed to ‘connecting’ individuals from a variety of races and cultures across the globe. Perhaps it is the usage of the Internet that has prompted more people to consider interracial dating sites and people from other cultures.
I know of no specific scripture that precludes interracial dating. Some might suggest that the instructions in 2 Corinthians 6:14 would apply regarding ‘unequally yoked’. This would be an inaccurate interpretation of Paul’s words because he was clearly instructing Christians to not marry unbelievers. I know of no interpretation that says differently.
Biblically, I find no instruction that precludes considering interracial dating/marriage.
It is without bias that I do make some ‘practical’ suggestions that one should consider when entertaining dating one from another race.
- Although the individuals dating may be at ease in interracial dating sites, they should be prepared that those around them may not be. There are still locations within the USA, as well as around the world, where interracial dating/marriage is not viewed positively.
- There are cultural aspects that usually relate to each race, which should be given consideration. These differences can be easily set-aside during dating, but often become huge items after marriage. If one is considering dating with a specific race other than her/his own race, they should spend a good deal of time in that culture (if applicable) to see how they feel about the differences in a practical sense.
- All of the considerations that apply to building a healthy relationship should be applied when building an interracial relationship. Understanding family backgrounds and how they apply to future expectations is another major area. This should apply to communication as well – as one thing means something in one part of the world and something quite differently in another.
- A very sensitive area, but one that should be given a good deal of thought, is future children that the couple desires to have. How will they be raised? Where will they go to church? How will their education be approached? How will you answer their question when they come home and say something like ‘someone at school said that my parents are different’?
- The roles of men and women differ greatly between races and cultures. This should be another area of consideration, education, and discussion.
“Biblically, I find no instruction that precludes considering interracial dating/marriage.”
Making a wise and mature choice.
There are many happy and successful Christian marriages between races. I personally know several of them and cherish their friendships. God should be the guide (and not our internal needs) in finding and building our relationships. Do not run ahead of His Spirit’s guiding and make a mistake that will greatly impact a lot of lives. Be open to taking the time to educate yourself – and then your partner in the relationship – so that you are making a wise and mature choice.
I especially like the wisdom found in Proverbs 11:14 ‘but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety’. Every person should have mature, wise Christians of their own gender as accountability partners. These partners should be consulted at every step of consideration for inter-racial dating/marriage.
Giving the relationship a chance to develop
When a relationship develops, additional counsel should be sought with a Christian counsellor or Pastor experienced in marital counselling. This suggestion is not given to ‘doom’ the relationship, but to give it every chance to develop and become all that the couple and God desire it to be.
Finally, close attention should be paid to input from family and close friends. They know us best and their insights can be very helpful to making the best choices for us (if they are Christians).
Jim
I’m shocked that ChristianCafe would even entertain this as a serious question. Why would you dignify this inquiry with a response?
Did you read the article? Dr. Jim is replying to a Christian single, who wrote to him about interracial relationships. He has no issue with it and neither do we.
@Stephen Rumph.
I share your sentiments. I was baffled that this question was even raised, and the response suggestions do not differ from what is reasonable for any potential relationship.
One can be better matched to one of another race than one’s own on so many levels.
Is this a serious question? We’re living in the twenty-first century!
Amen, Brother!
But what should it matter the time we live in. For true believers, we learn of God’s treatment toward Moses’ siblings who objected to the wife he had because of her race.
I think the idea of human cultural aspect is a hindrance to many interracial relationship, there are many Christians who still glorify their culture.
Let’s look an example of Joseph marrying an Egyptian woman Genesis 41:45
Moses wife Sipora was a Midian (Exodus 2:19-22
My question is was God very stupid , careless, non caring, to me my answer is BiG NOW.our knows what’s good for each one of us as long as you leave him to reign all levels.
Remember Joseph and Moses were both prophets of God whom He used them to accomplish He purpose.
In simple when God sends someone to you for marriage do not take for granted, first pray and allow God to do his will.
I have seen Christians marrying to devil worshipers because they can with good that meet their expectations .
Remember the Bible is clear that good wife or husband comes from God(Proverbs 31:10-31)
The biggest problem in our times today is that we do not ask and listen to Holly Spirit of God, we make our own judgement.
For those who listen more often refuse what God tells them to do.
I have seen many good Christians refusing to marry or get married to God sent person because of cultural norms.
My another’ question is this can you tell what’s in someone heart? Not easy unless God reveals to and this depend with you good relationship and fellowship with your maker.
God who knows the hearts of all men , He can tell which the best for your.
The Bible says heart is deceitful who can know it, only God knows each mind and heart.
Let me share with these true story,
There was abrother in certain church and country who was committed to work of God, he was requesting God to give him a good wife, he fasted and for some days, one day God showed him the wife he was requesting, God told him Sister Jacki is your wife not her real name, who had physical disability but she was also committed in the work of God.
The brother refused and told God i cant marry someone with physical disability, this is not my choice.
Is short he continued to ask God for wife but God continued to tell him Jacki, is your wife, he was disappointed and questioned why this should happen.
One day as he was praying for the same God again showed the same person, he cried bitterly, but he later told God let your will be done.
When he had accepted Jacki with her disability, they agreed to marry as wife few day later before wedding, there was a miracle happened to Jacki when they were in normal Sunday service God manifested and healed Jacki’s lameness instantly without intervention of any person.
People just saw her walking on her feet glorying God.
When she was asked what happened to her she replied she never knew what exactly happened , but she felt strong wave like storm, and found walking on her feet.
it’s wonderful and a day of glorify to God.
What lesson should we learn from this story ,let’s allow the of God in our life, we shall regret.
In summary let’s belong to culture of God, because in that culture no discrimination, racialism, tribalism, nepotism etc.when we disown other people on foundation of culture , race, status, colour position etc we’re mocking our creator.
Let depend on God for directions
Amen
Amen powerful
Yes, ir relationships are backwards.
Amen, Brother!
I would like to humbly question one item and add Biblical teaching as well. First, the question of race is a false notion. We are all of one race. When we read the text, we see God only created man, male and female. There are multiple ethnicities but not multiple races. I believe if we use the term ethnicity and reject the term race we will transform the discussion itself and call into question old prejudices. Second, I think we should always take a long look at Song of Solomon when the question of ethnicities arises. Note that she is dark/nubian. Every indication in the text would say this is of no concern, and in fact the only issue in the Bible about different ethnicities/tribes relates to whether or not they were engaged in the worship of Jehovah or a false god/idolatry. Frankly, I believe we are all God’s children, and we have allowed Satan to create divisions among us using all sorts of pretenses instead of using Kingdom thinking.
Amen! I totally agree!
You are right my dear, God created Man and woman and we are all the same.
I think as Christian we need to know the will, purpose and plans of our God.
There are many Christian who feel they more important than others.
The Bible is very clear that God created man in His own image and likeness Genesis Genesis 1 : 25-27.
God’s on divine purpose is that we are all human beings, weather black, white, brown and so forth all saved by Grace.Efesian 2:1-10.
In God’s eye every believe is important in the body of Christ in John 1:12 says for those who received Him He gave them power to become the children of God ( Romans 8: 14- 17, Romans 12:4-6).
I think from Bible principles of interracial marriage , God has no problem at all.
For let’s look in book of Mathew 1:1-16 about the Genealogy of Christ we see that in those generation there people who were intermarried by Isrealite .
Let’s look few example of people in generation of Christ how married non Iseralite;
1. Juda got children from Tamari who was not an Iseralite and he bore two sons Peresi and Zera ( Genesis 38:15-26)
2.Berthesaba the mother Solomon Son of King David was not an Iseralite
3.Ruth was Moabite married Boaz the grand father of King David (Ruth 3:1:5, Ruth 4:13
4. Ester married to King Ahusuero of Persia
There are many Biblical testimonies how God brought different races to Iseralite.
In other words those who hide behind theirs races or status Never understand the will of God.
In summary I want says this marriage is divine purpose of God, if someone need to into relationship the best basic criteria should based on following;
1. Is brother or sister you want to marry/get married to born again?
2. Pray to understand the will of God alone the journey of dating
3. Our judgement to whom to marry or married to should not besad on the outside of someone, status, race, geographical aspect, expectations, emotions etc.
4. We need to appreciate that every born again is equal to one another in the eyes of our maker.
5.lets involved God at all levels of preparation not deny someone an opportunity because he is not your class, race, tribes, staus
Therefore let’s not sin against our God by just making judgement on own understanding or emotions.
For today every deliver we understand we all in the image of God, then God will so happy.
The Bible actually answers to any question even to this question, God is infinite and we can not limit Him to our human thinking.
Jer 32.27
“Behold, I am Jehovah,the God of all flesh: is there anything too hard for me?”
I have in mind two cases in which God worked in this way:
1.Boas and Ruth
2.Esther and the king Ahasuerus
In each of these two cases it was the Providence of God that brought the two together, so if is His plan with somebody trust Him…Bless you
There is the ideal and then there is reality. The question was wisely answered, considering the broken world we are in. May l add, ANY couple should approach dating/marriage prayerfully. Let the Holy Spirit be the guide. Shalom,
Jenny
I perfectly agree with you
That article adds no concrete value to a Christian dating site IMHO. The love of Christ is universal. Cultures vary across the world. Race is a socially constructed idea of ‘ othering’. Let us love one another as Christ loved us. 😍🤗😇
Lol, no, race is biological, not social costruct.
We are fearfully and wonderfully made in God’s image let us love each other.
Amen
Agree. Words make a difference and “ethnicity” more accurately reflects our differences by nation and people groups. Acts 17:26 (NLT) says “From one man he created all nations throughout the whole earth. He decided beforehand when they should rise and fall, and he determined their boundaries.”
respectfully disagree. We are all “God’s children” because I cannot find scripture to support it. We are all (people, humans) created in the likeness and image of God different than animals as it says in Genesis 1:27. We are all born in sin and separated from God because of the original sin of Adam. The Good News is we can belong to God and be “adopted” into the family of God through the person of Jesus Christ (John 14:6, Ephesians 1:5).
Paul in Romans also distinguished people by those controlled by the sinful nature vs those controlled by the Holy Spirit. Romans 8:9 (NLT) says, “ But you are not controlled by your sinful nature. You are controlled by the Spirit, if you have the Spirit of God living in you ( And remember those who do not have the Spirit of Christ living are not his at all).
Yes, and godly relationships should include prayer 🙏🏽, being guided by sanctified common sense, the Holy Spirit, God’s word, counsel with godly and trusted leaders, close confidants, friends, and family. But based on Romans 8, the primary thing is to establish whether or not the Spirit of Christ is in me and in control of me and in the person I am considering dating.
Good discussion😊
By the way, there is nothing as culture~culture does not exist, it is semiotic operator. What is seemed to be culture is as a result of entanglements. When people of different raise entangle, they will create their own way of life. Tradition we can say yes it exist because it is a repeated practice of a mode of life. As born agains, we entangle and practice the bible that says there are neither Greeks nor Gentiles, Crescent nor Jews but all is one, one in christ Jesus. Any teaching to christian about their culture difference is ok, but to the point that it is meaning making to who they are in Christ attracts blasphemy!
I’m more of the same faith, the same belief with mutual respect as well. With more or less the same likes & dislikes and same visions in our Christian journey .