Today’s quest post is from Oscar Collins.
5 Questions Christians Should Ask Before Entering a New Relationship
Accepting an invitation for a first, second, or third date is thrilling. You could grow closer to your partner and find your future spouse – but will they also be your spiritual partner? Matching your spiritual beliefs sets the foundation for a healthy relationship.
Take the guesswork out of your dating life by considering these questions Christians should ask before entering a new relationship.
1. What Is Your Relationship With Jesus Like?
This may seem like a fundamental question, but it’s a great place to start a conversation on any date. Your partner will likely feel excited to talk about how they came to Christ before or after you provide your testimony. As they answer, you’ll learn why they value their beliefs and how they approach being in a relationship with God.
Some people are more studious about their faith by studying Scripture and the history surrounding it. Others take James 2:17 to heart by demonstrating their beliefs through works such as service opportunities. You don’t have to express your beliefs precisely in the same way, but how your partner lives out their faith is an essential expression of their character and interests.
2. What Do You Do for a Living?
Just like secular folk, people of faith do ask about their partner’s career, especially on first dates. You should know how they provide for themselves and what they desire for their professional future. It’s essential to support that part of your partner’s life and how it may affect you, like moving frequently or having a specific quality of life.
Careers also show how someone exhibits the fruits of the spirit outside of their church community. Do they grant kindness and love to their co-workers and have self-control in high-stress positions? Reflect on these things as your partner answers to better understand them.
3. How Do You Value Your Purity?
Christians prioritize physical purity before marriage based on Biblical guidance, but that can mean something different to each person. Ask your partner how they value their purity to learn about their standards or preferences for intimate moments.
Your standards should match theirs, so you don’t need to worry about potentially compromising situations. You’ll know they’ll trust your boundaries if they place the same limits on themselves.
4. What Church Do You Attend and Why?
It would be challenging to have a happy marriage if you don’t attend the same church as your partner. Inquire about their preferred denomination during your first few dates to learn what they believe. If you’re a Catholic, for example, you may not feel comfortable dating someone who doesn’t revere Mary or the saints to the same extent that you do. Conservative Protestant Christians typically do not (at all!).
Your partner’s answer will also reveal what size church they prefer. They might like small congregations because everyone knows each other well. They might want to attend only mega-churches to participate in more activities and meet new people. Your opinions could clash, so learn these things while the relationship is just beginning.
5. What Was Your Last Relationship Like?
Everyone benefits from asking about what someone’s last relationship was like. You’ll learn what worked and what didn’t work for your partner, which may help you decide if they’re right for you.
This question can also reveal if your date learned something about their Christian values that changed or reaffirmed them. You’ll discover what they prioritize and hope to find in a partner before getting to know them for weeks or months.
6. Who Is Your Spiritual Mentor?
Anyone can profess Christian beliefs, but having a mentor means someone dedicates themselves to learning more about their Christian identity. Mentors pray with people and encourage them, but they also point out ways to grow based on Scripture.
Sometimes people don’t have in-person connections to a mentor but seek similar support from other leaders. This question could prompt interesting conversations about who your date listens to on the radio, which podcasts they love, and which authors they respect. You should find more shared interests while centering your time together around your beliefs.
Look Forward to a Great New Relationship
Christians should ask these questions before entering a relationship because they highlight important things you should know about a potential partner. Once you know that you believe the same things, share foundational values, and express your faith similarly, you can trust that your relationship will thrive because you’ll live the same life in Christ.