Christian Friendship

Pastor Jim provides advice for Christian singles, stating that finding a ‘true, cherished, valuable friend’ is very important even before searching for a romantic relationship. Build Christian friendships that are ‘mutually rewarding, and then move to romance.’ His full Christian advice column is below.

It’s Not Being Single but Alone

Being single as an adult is not the challenge, it is being alone that breaks us. It is not whether or not you are in a romantic relationship, but if you have a relationship with others that makes the difference between enjoyable living and misery.

God created us to relate to Him and to others. This is as fundamental as having breath or blood. Our systems were not engineered to isolate and take life alone. To do so is to step outside of God’s plan and try to make it on your own. At best you might find enjoyment for a moment, but without relating to others you will soon grow inward and isolated from both people and reality.

I see this as a huge challenge for single adults. When life is not shaping up the way one desires, the temptation is to withdraw and put up guards against being hurt directly or indirectly. Soon the only voice one hears is their own and it becomes self-defeating and depression sets in.

You must connect with others in an authentic and real way to maintain physical, emotional, and mental health. This relating must be with someone who genuinely cares for you and will tell you the truth, in love, before you get into a perspective or way of moving that will take you on an unfulfilling journey.

I am not speaking of romantic relationship. In fact, I do not believe that a healthy romantic relationship can exist unless there are other relationships that are genuine and caring. The measure for a romantic relationship comes from experiencing real friendships.

The type of relationship I speak of is found in a friend, a true, cherished, valuable friend. A friend that is as they say closer than a brother – or sister. This type of friendship takes time and effort to find and build. Yet, it is more essential to your future than your job or your education.

Before you set out to find a romantic relationship set out to find and develop a real friendship. I find that friends of this type are of the same gender and tell it like it is because they want the best for and out of you. Finding and building this kind of relationship is a key also to you learning how to be a great partner when the time comes for a romantic relationship.

Build a healthy life for yourself by first focusing on building friendships that are mutually rewarding, and then move to romance. Not only will it be less lonely, but also you will make fewer mistakes and find new ways of seeing and moving in life than you ever experienced before your friendship.

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Comments
  • BLESSING says:

    I need a christian friend, that have christ in him.

  • BLESSIN says:

    I need a christian friend, that have christ in him,

  • Denesha says:

    This article is great!! It is also so true. We need to build great friendships before relationships.

  • Nileeta says:

    I am looking to make some Christian friends. Not looking to build a dating relationship with anyone. Just need to make some Christian friends. It is hard for me to do that. I am bipolar and have a panic disorder. It is hard for me to make and keep friends because of my mental illnesses.

  • Merlene price says:

    i will like a christian friend to give me some advice

  • kenneth says:

    I need a friend who is good and should have God in his or her heart.

  • wanda moses.f says:

    I need a friend who is God fearing and constructive.

  • Kyle says:

    I am looking for friendship near myrtle beach,sc,following Christ is essential please.

  • Barbra says:

    hello, lam looking for a good friend who can be there for me, because l also be there for him

  • pastor john says:

    am single i want god christan frind

  • I agree. Friendships are important. I have four brothers and no sisters. However, me and my close friend are just like sisters. We even call each other sisters. It is imparative to establish close relationships with others. Ecclesiastes 4:9 (NIV) tells us that two are better than one. Everyone needs a support system.

  • Tiara says:

    Looking 4 friendship with godly males/females.

  • Awanchiri Mercy says:

    Iam looking for christain friends with whom i can communicate; but when i clik on some body like Wanda moses who says he needs christian friends who are God fearing and constructive; it does not open . So i donĀ²t know what to do next.

  • olawale says:

    is it really possible to get true chhristian friends online?
    I’m a serious type, and don’t joke with my salvation. I believe in love, trust and holiness

  • paul anton says:

    i looking faithful christean lady for mareage.I want to serve god with part time job

  • Rose says:

    Just looking for christian friends, for fellowshiping, encouragement, laughter, & simply growing in the Lord.

  • jez07 says:

    hello nice to know u.. i wnt u to be my friend… is it ok?… i wnt to have a christian friend.. friend that thas a genuine faith in jesus

  • David says:

    Hello There! I am born again Christian looking for a Christian friend. I am Ugandan.

  • valine says:

    i wish to know and contact more christian friends in the LORD JESUS

  • cynthia says:

    Greetings My Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ,
    What a wonderful opportunity to say hello and tell you how much i would love to begin to share with you about my relationship with the Lord! I have been truly blessed and every day give thanks for all Jesus has done for me. Love to hear from you all and build a beautiful christian friendship. God is so good and life is too!
    Love and blessings, cynthia

  • GUNA says:

    I need a friend who is God fearing and constructive.

  • Pr. Bright Charles says:

    Hello every body

  • Tonny Lubambula says:

    I really need a friend who is spiritually blessed to share idears.

  • Jessica Kelly says:

    I really need more friends that I can feel comfortable talking to that also have Christian beliefs.

  • oscar lumu says:

    I need a true christian friend Am ready to make gd friendship

  • timo says:

    am loking for a very God fearing friend please i need one

  • hannah sesay says:

    I am 32 yrs woman lookin for a christian friends. I am a sierra leonean.

  • leons robinson says:

    I’ m looking for a godfearing christian friend , genuine and true possessing a thoroug biblical background from preferably asian region.

  • michelle says:

    need christian women men friends

  • Sonya says:

    I would love to meet Christians and develop a meaningful friendship. Let’s be friends

  • Ruth says:

    hi!Greetins from india.i am married and blesed with two children.we pastrate churh in village called thallamada.want a spiritual friend to advice us.

  • charles says:

    i was 33 years..
    i am looking for good christian friends.

  • Margaret Nalubega says:

    Am 34 years I need true Christian friends because it’s friendship that comes first for a relationship to go on, happy couples are real life time friends

    • Polly says:

      Dear Margaret,

      Indeed, you need to find a best friend in your partner, for the relationshipship to become a more fruitful one.

  • Evangelist Chris says:

    I need a God fearing, caring young lady to minister with, iam. preacher to nations with the word of God through. Jesus Christ Iam 27yrs I pray that God through Jesus Christ will connect me to the person of my vision.
    I need a partner not only in marriage but more in ministry thank you. Kampala uganda .

  • David says:

    I’m a pastor from Uganda seriously looking for a Christian friends from Europe

  • innocentia says:

    hi I really need a Christian friend who can encourage me and make me grow in the Lord.

  • evangelist liberty olufemi says:

    pls, I am looking for an evangelist (male or female) who can teach me more about global evangelism. Thanks.

    • Polly says:

      Hi there, we are a site dedicated to Christian singles and do not know anything about global evangelism. You have to search the web to find sites that can help you with your search. Sorry about that.

  • christina says:

    my name is christina im almost a teenager i will be in less than a month.i want and need someone i could talk to about christ.or just a friend.atleast advise.i recently gave my life to christ and repented and asked to forgive me for my sin.i am also learning the lords prayer aramaic.

    • Polly says:

      Hi there Christina, We are glad to hear that you have gave your life to Christ! Our site if for adult single Christians and we do not accept under age Christians. You need to search in the web for a website that serve young christians. God bless!

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